To think this is a fair compromise

[dealer]

There's something wrong with our telly. I don't know whether it's the telly, or the freeview or what, it just malfunctions sometimes. I very rarely watch it, so I'm not bothered but I understand everyone else does.

So dh wants to sort it, I tell him that's fine, just figure out what needs repairing/replacing and sort it. He wants to buy a new much larger TV and get SKY, without actually knowing what's wrong so it's obviously just an excuse. I think SKY would be a massive waste of money and will cause arguements with the kids, but if it'll really make him happy then ho-hum, we can afford it. But I really, really don't want a massive TV in our front room.

He keeps getting the kids to 'vote' on whether they want a big telly, thus easily outnumbering me and making me out as an ogre when I veto it, which I'm annoyed about. They also keep pointing out that I never watch it, which is true but we have a small house and I will still have to have it flickering away at me all the time. I have sometimes found other people's tellies have given me headaches.

So I've told him he can have SKY if he really want it but no big telly. So he's done nothing and spends the evening moaning at me that I'm so tight and won't let him spend money on it every time it goes wrong. Which isn't true, if it's the TV he can go straight out tonight and buy himself a similar sized TV if he so wishes.

Chipping, the OP has minimal problems with tv. Next to none with MNing on a similar piece of kit.
She is BU.

No, Chipping. So if I'm sitting on the sofa reading, or knitting, say, then the effect of the flickering telly in the corner that I'm NOT EVEN LOOKING AT would give me a headache?

Because TV's are invasive. They sit there flickering away... changing colour all the time.

Sidge Your TV is my TV's little brother. My TV is as deep as it is wide - I may be the last person with one of these if you are getting rid of yours!

I think that possibly if you get Sky some of the pictures might not fit on a smaller screen so you end up losing both sides. I think (IIRC) that this was an issue with us until we got a bigger TV. And we only have 37" which because its flat can fit quite far back into a corner and seems a perfect fit for our small living room.

I sometimes get headaches from other people's telly's because if I'm at someone else's house I'm not usually watching it intently, I'm usually chatting. To be honest, even if I'm watching it at home, I'm often doing something else at the same time, so again, not intent.

The computer however, I've got a bit of a habit of getting engrossed, so sometimes don't take notice of the warning signs. I often know I'm tired, but follow link, and link and link if I'm interested in something, convincing myself I'll be fine. Or sometimes doing something important for work, and if I stare at it too much in those situations I end up with the major vomity headaches.

It would if you were Dealer, yes. TV's are distracting, annoying and attract your eye to them because of the picture continually changing, light changing, colour changing. It is really hard to be in a small room when the TV is on not to be drawn to it.

Computers are different (especially MN) because the screen is pretty static.

Ah, I get it, Chipping. That isn't flickering. Flickering is akin to the strobe lighting effect that gets people with epilepsy. Not the same thing at all. TV manufacturers were able to prevent that years ago.

Chipping, computers aren't different. It's exactly the same screen!

The computer seems different anyway because it only changes occasionally, it's just like a bit of a glarey book.

I CANNOT at all watch iplayer on the pc, I need to be half way across the room to find it bearable.

I have no idea if flickering is the right word at all. I struggle to describe what the problem is when discussing this with dh.

Chipping LOL at your Big Brother TV!

Honestly ours is massive. I feel rather guilty as it works perfectly well (just a few scratches on the screen) but it's over 10 years old and so big and clunky yet in our new lounge it's small enough that we can't watch it comfortably. <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=panasonic+quintrix+tv&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=634&tbm=isch&tbnid=aA4jDDZJmFfkHM:&imgrefurl=www.jumbleaid.com/GiftDetail.aspx%3FGiftID%3D4188&docid=cjBhJrK5GHO43M&imgurl=www.jumbleaid.com/ImageRepository/User/244/Large/397.jpg&w=415&h=311&ei=x_GZTrn8Msmy8gOW57zgBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=413&vpy=263&dur=1179&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=82&ty=135&sig=115373664601416257840&page=1&tbnh=153&tbnw=207&start=0&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Come and laugh at it here

We've sold our house and agreed that when we complete and have a few quid in the bank DH can get his cool telly and I'm getting a new sofa! (Sofa also over ten years old and 3 children later is looking very sad).

Ours is 26". It's not tiny, it's a reasonable size. DH would love an enormous screen, but he also knows it would be ridiculous and I would point and laugh.

It's just the way that you present it, OP. Your first post was saying that you didn't want it - and now it's that it makes you gravely ill. I just can't help thinking you just want your own way. I'm not trying to be a bitch, this is AIBU, and I think you are.

Even if I didn't get headaches why would it be not acceptable to say that I didn't want a large tv in our joint living space.

If I had what I desired then we would have no tv at all. So surely it is a compromise to allow a tv and sky to boot.

Agree with you again, Abby

Don't we all want our own way?

Why should dh get his way on everything, and me on nothing?

Because you're not being fair. You're being selfish.

no dealer, it's a compromise to work out a size of tv that suits your living space, and I would bet it's bigger than 24 inches.
If you were half dead from exaggerating illness caused by monitors, you wouldn't be on here.
YABU.

Do you not usually get any say? Because there's a lot of talk of 'letting' & 'allowing' in your posts. I just think you shouldn't care so much when you barely watch it.

Bwahahah you have exactly the same television as my dinosaur, except mine's the 32 version. It's therefore bigger than yours, probably the size of Lincolnshire. My poor, abused DDs.

Does you partner mind you being on the Internet half the night? If he said he did mind, would you compromise? Do you see what I mean?

Suits our living space? Who gets to decide that?

I have a friend with a portable in a larger room and I like it much more.

abby... it isn't just about watching it though is it? it's about spunking a huge amount of money on something that they don't "need", that will give one member of the household headaches and that you haven't both agreed on.

No, I don't see what you mean at all. He uses the internet sometimes, I use it sometimes. It's never an issue at all. In fact we're usually falling over each other to make sure we don't hog it too much.

Liking a portable is different from a large screen making you ill.