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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a fair compromise

177 replies

dealer · 15/10/2011 20:36

There's something wrong with our telly. I don't know whether it's the telly, or the freeview or what, it just malfunctions sometimes. I very rarely watch it, so I'm not bothered but I understand everyone else does.

So dh wants to sort it, I tell him that's fine, just figure out what needs repairing/replacing and sort it. He wants to buy a new much larger TV and get SKY, without actually knowing what's wrong so it's obviously just an excuse. I think SKY would be a massive waste of money and will cause arguements with the kids, but if it'll really make him happy then ho-hum, we can afford it. But I really, really don't want a massive TV in our front room.

He keeps getting the kids to 'vote' on whether they want a big telly, thus easily outnumbering me and making me out as an ogre when I veto it, which I'm annoyed about. They also keep pointing out that I never watch it, which is true but we have a small house and I will still have to have it flickering away at me all the time. I have sometimes found other people's tellies have given me headaches.

So I've told him he can have SKY if he really want it but no big telly. So he's done nothing and spends the evening moaning at me that I'm so tight and won't let him spend money on it every time it goes wrong. Which isn't true, if it's the TV he can go straight out tonight and buy himself a similar sized TV if he so wishes.

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 15/10/2011 21:17

Blimey, 24" is tiny Shock

I thought you were going to say 32" ish. YAB a leetle BU over the screen size then.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:17

You think my children should be allowed to outvote me so that I have to hide in the bedroom to read to avoid headaches?

OP posts:
ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 15/10/2011 21:19

I think before he spends any money you should do some research and see if some are more prone to the flickering than others.

YANBU not wanting a huge TV. I loved it when we didn't have one, but can't quite bring myself to go cold turkey on it again right now.

If he gets Sky, get Sky+ then you can record programmes and there's no need for any arguing.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:22

Not totally sure, but I think it was a 32 that he brought home that I hated. I am fully aware that he brought home a smaller one than he would have liked in an attempt to be more reasonable, but I literally couldn't watch it at all. I had to sort of flap my hands in front of my eyes to counteract the glare.

And it's totally not something exaggerated on at home, I've often had to leave other people's houses because of this glare/flicker issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:23

Oh, he can have sky whatever package he desires, sky plus whatever extras we can afford, I just don't want a bigger telly.

We're only sat about 8-10 ft back from it.

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 15/10/2011 21:24

Not in principle, no. But I do think you're being a bit unreasonable. It would be like me saying that nobody in my house could play slightly loud music because it occasionally gives me a headache. I just think there should be more compromise on your side. Something about your posts makes me think you're a bit uncompromising, don't know why.

SquirtedZombieJuiceUpNose · 15/10/2011 21:24

YABU. You don't watch tv. I understand you don't want a huge thing in your front room, but you should allow the rest of your family to have a reasonable sized one, and also Sky. Particularly since you say you can afford it. Technology has moved on from 4 channels and a flickering box in the corner. If your tv flickers, tbh there's something wrong with it.

There are guides available here to work out the best size of flat screen for your room.

Trills · 15/10/2011 21:26

YABU to think that 32 inches is a big TV.

You need to find out what is causing this problem that you have with screens.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:27

ALL tvs flicker (to my eyes anyway) a larger one spreads the flicker around the room, so I even experience the flicker when reading a book, sorting washing whatever. We only have one living area.

And I do watch the TV sometimes, just once or twice a week. I think I should still be able to do this.

OP posts:
SquirtedZombieJuiceUpNose · 15/10/2011 21:28

I'm sitting about 8 ft back from 54" screen and it's a really good picture. Even better in HD.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 15/10/2011 21:30

Dealer - IMO children do not get a say this stuff like this. When they are old enough they can buy what they want for their rooms/houses. As for a family vote/majority rule... all I can say is HA HA HA HA HA. It's no bloody wonder some kids have absolutely no respect for any kind of authority.

As for the size - my TV has a 26" screen but a 36" overall size (it's OLD, big & has a wide silver frame!!) - if it was going to be replaced I'd go for something inbetween.

thisisyesterday · 15/10/2011 21:31

32" sounds a reasonable size to me tbh.

54" and only 8ft away would do my head in.

SquirtedZombieJuiceUpNose · 15/10/2011 21:32

Do you get headaches from a computer monitor?

It's exactly the same technology.

Just saying.

AbbyAbsinthe · 15/10/2011 21:34

Wait - you're stopping them getting this tv when you only watch it once or twice a WEEK?? Massively selfish! Why do you get to have the final say & not your partner?

If this was a bloke posting that he wouldn't let the missus have any more than a 24 inch telly, people would be telling him he was financially/emotionally abusing her Hmm

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:34

Sometimes, dh has done something to this monitor which seems to have helped, but if I'm tired I daren't use it because I get the worst headache and usually wake in the night vomiting.

OP posts:
SquirtedZombieJuiceUpNose · 15/10/2011 21:35

Sorry, just asked DH, we are 5 metres away from the tv. About 15 feet. Oops. Blush

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 15/10/2011 21:35

8ft back from a 54" screen - I would hate that. When I want to go to the movies I go, when I want to watch TV I want to watch something that doesn't do the equivalent of shouting at me. All of us being different is what makes the world go around though isn't it.

Dealer - the more you say, the more I think you really need to get this sorted out, something isn't right. I'd hold off replacing the TV until you have done this, just incase there's a type of screen that's better for you.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:36

But Abby, the tv massively affects me being able to use the front room for whatever activity. Sky doesn't affect me so he can have that.

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 15/10/2011 21:37

So it goes from being a tiny mention if 'sometimes getting headaches from other people's tvs' to hideous headaches that make you vomit in the night?

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 15/10/2011 21:38

Abby - are you completely unable to read & comprehend what is being posted on threads? Dealer may not watch it very often but it is in her sitting room flickering away. If her DH wanted to put a motorbike in the lounge to sit on while he watched TV shouldn't she get a say in that either as she wouldn't be the one sitting on it?

GnomeDePlume · 15/10/2011 21:38

dealer do you need to do to an optician and get your eyes tested? This flicker problem seems to be quite extreme if you are having to leave people's houses because of it. The various TV manufacturers have gone to quite a lot of trouble to minimise flicker in TVs.

Another thought - do you suffer the flicker problem if you are watching something you want to watch?

I'll be honest I have a scepticism about the whole 'I dont watch television' thing as my DM comes out with this as a whole pseudo intellectual nonsense which gets on my nerves. She then phones DH to sort out her TV nanoseconds after she encounters any sort of problem. I do love her really

Sidge · 15/10/2011 21:38

We're getting a new TV when our house sale completes next week and I can't wait!

We're going from a 30 inch CRT telly the size of Devon to a funky slimline flat screen 42 incher. Given that in our new lounge we're sitting twelve feet away from the telly I'll be able to watch the new one without the aid of binoculars.

Sorry, nothing to do with the OP really, I just wanted to share my excitement at finally getting a new TV...

AbbyAbsinthe · 15/10/2011 21:39

For what activity? Surely the headaches only happen when you WATCH the tv? Which you only do once or twice a week, yes? So how else does it affect you?

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 15/10/2011 21:39

Yep - still unable to read & comprehend what has been said.

SquirtedZombieJuiceUpNose · 15/10/2011 21:39

Abby completely agree with you.