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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask why you hate mum & toddler groups?

172 replies

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 14:59

I am a sahm to to two dc (a 2yo and a 5mo). The toddler group I go to is on 4 mornngs a week and without it I would go slightly mad. I have noticed a few comments on here by people saying that they hate them and never go and I just wondered why really.

OP posts:

altinkum · 02/08/2011 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 02/08/2011 15:01

cliquey
boring
feral kids

PussInConverse · 02/08/2011 15:02

Depends on the group. I find the ones where you just sit and chat deathly dull, or fun (depending on who's there), and much prefer the ones with more structure - e.g. storytime at the library. 4 mornings a week sounds pretty intense, but lucky you if it's a good 'un.

HowNowKernow · 02/08/2011 15:02

I love my toddler group, its only once a week though. It has been my life line and I am eternally grateful to the women who run it. Its truly a service to the community.

I have been to a few others that I haven't enjoyed though, so maybe most people aren't lucky enough to find a really good one?

bananasplitz · 02/08/2011 15:02

shudders

kayb123 · 02/08/2011 15:05

i live in a posh area - i am not one of those people, hence i sit there on my own as the others are talking about OH business/holidays or what building work they are having on their second home.

I felt so under classed/dirty/low everything, yet i sat it out 3 times, then neve went back... no-one spoke to me apart from one live out nanny who employer goes out for tea with her friends so needs a nanny!!!.

Original poster

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 15:08

I should say I dont go 4 mornings a week all the time but some weeks i do

It gives me anaim for the morning as dd isnt in nursery yet. I suppose it's not he most exciting thing ever but my life isn't that exciting at the moment and it is a guaranteed cup of coffee and some nice people to chat to...

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 02/08/2011 15:08

"no-one spoke to me apart from one live out nanny who employer goes out for tea with her friends so needs a nanny!!!"

Kayb123 did you mean that to sound so judgemental?

I don't like groups - too many children, too many "mummies"...

Countingwiththecount · 02/08/2011 15:09

Type A: Mindless conversation, feral children, negligent parents.

Type B: Mindless conversation, competitive parents, average toddlers with the start of a parent induced inferiority/ superiority complexity, endless twattery discussion about meaningless domestic stuff e.g. dishwashers, husband competition.

joric · 02/08/2011 15:10

We went to a lovely one where I met some really nice people BUT the organisers made a huge effort to integrate newcomers. There were a few women who were very snooty and had their whole social scene set up and felt threatened by wouldn't talk to anyone new.... THEY are the ones that put people off IMO.

spookshowangel · 02/08/2011 15:11

because they are usually frequented by people that have nothing particularly in common except their children or have nothing better to talk about except their children.
they are exceptionally dull, then you have the parents that dont parent their children properly or are massively over protective and of course the mad competitive nature of a lot of mums, oh yes well darling jason just did a poo, well thats nothing compared to the weapon of mass destruction that charles did last night!.... the whole thing leaves me needing to track down some people that dont make me want to pull my eyes out, and have several large vodkas with them.
the thing is most of these mums are probably absolutely fine on a normal basis but toddler groups turns all mums in to crazy people i find.
rant over.

Original poster

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 15:11

There are a few 'robust' kids there but there is only 1 mum who ignores her 'robust' dc and she is actually a pre-baby friend of mine anyway! (whole other thread)

OP posts:

Dexifehatz · 02/08/2011 15:11

I used to take my DD to 'Blissful Babes' at my local Surestart till she was 12 months old.It was brilliant and she absolutely loved it.The next group up was a different kettle of fish altogether! Loud 'look at me parents',vile mouthed parents and 'couldn't give a shit' parents.I stopped going after being called a 'c**t' by one of the lager stinking crew.I wrote about that on another thread and got called a liar by more than one poster.

PuppyMonkey · 02/08/2011 15:11

I went to a toddler group for nearly a year before I was routinely included in the conversation. Before that, I tried really hard to chat but was always left sitting alone like a numpty most of the time.

DD enjoyed it though, so I carried on going.

joric · 02/08/2011 15:13

kayb.. Try another, they're not all like that :o

upahill · 02/08/2011 15:14

I tried it when mine were babies and hated it.
Allthe others that went were childminders who walked to the school together and then walked back and then on to all the mum toddler groups in the area. eg Monday at the church hall, Tuesday at the community centre and so on.

I soon found I was better off having two hours at the gym while the baby went into the creche.

upahill · 02/08/2011 15:15

kayb.. Try another, they're not all like that

Dunno about that!!!!

NoobyNoob · 02/08/2011 15:15

The ones where I live are too cliquey and full of competitive parenting. I also hate the type of conversation you seem to get with them all. Like Counting points out, I don't want to talk about Little Freds bowel movements, or how you think your husband doesn't do enough around the house.

So, no thanks. I'd rather meet up with a few mum friends and go to the park.

InTheNightKitchen · 02/08/2011 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 15:16

I find my friends are more competitive than the m&t mums and it is a break from all that competitive shit.

The one I go to is very friendly but I guess that is just your luck. Although I must admit to having not much else to talk about other than babies

OP posts:

SiamoFottuti · 02/08/2011 15:17

because its full of people I have nothing in common with other than having small children, and thats all they talk about. Its dull.

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 15:18

ive been to a few, at one they only spoke to me when the leader was near then blanked me completely whe she wasnt

at another i had to listen to stories about truley awful parenting

at another i was told i shouldnt carry my baby in his sling cos he would get used to being held

i gave them a few goes and stopped

Original poster

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 15:18

Oh dear, I think this thread has only served to make me realise how woefully dull my life is!

OP posts:

Whatmeworry · 02/08/2011 15:23

They just kept on talking about bluddy children, I was surrounded by Kid stuff 24x7 and wanted a break!

I got a better time by going to the supermarket and sticking the DCs in their creche for an hour while I drank coffee and read the Mags did the shopping :o

Original poster

nomdeploom · 02/08/2011 15:25

Where is this creche?? I want to put my children in a creche for an hour or 2!

OP posts:

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