to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?


Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

[Ormirian]

Has she been shagged yet?

[TechLovingDad]

No, Beam has only just joined .

[BeamMysterious]

Okay. So username changes happen? Most places you have to re-register.

So "Celibacyisnotforme" is possibly a sock puppet of someone with quite an ordinary life? Someone who wanted to try their hand at some execrable brilliant fiction?

I might divulge details of my rubbish life at some point, but it ain't gonna be titillating.

More 'husband shagging someone else and thinks I don't know' crap.

Is it wine o' clock yet???

[BrianAndHisBalls]

Why is Tech not gettin any??

[BrianAndHisBalls]

Beam - put a 'shout out' for WhenWillIFeelNormal on the relationships board, she (and many others) have been where you may be now and can help you.

[AnyFucker]

beam, you ok ?

Brian...we are all studiously and furiously not asking TLD that question, because he keeps bemoaning the fact he isn't getting any and we are all ignoring him because of the "mentionitis"

[TechLovingDad]

I did mention it a couple of times, purely as I thought it was kind of part of the conversation. Apologies, I won't mention my lack of sex again.

To repeat I won't mention my lack of sex again.

No sirree.

Schtum.

Did I mention?

[AnyFucker]

this thread will soon be full

[AnyFucker]

oh fgs, TLD, get Ginster to give you some relief again, for the love of Gawd

[AnyFucker]

in case this thread gets full, beam if you like, post your story in the "Relationships" topic, and you will get as much support and advice as you can handle

be prepared to be told he is a cheating twat and you need to pack his bags, though

[TechLovingDad]

He's some man, that Gster.

[BrianAndHisBalls]

Tech you bummer, tell me NOW.

[Gster]

there's only so much man love I can give in one week.

I think we need to return to why I'm not getting any. ;)

[TechLovingDad]

You're single, you should be inundated with offers you fanny magnet, you.

[BeamMysterious]

Brian and AnyFucker, thank you for comments. I shall stumble around the message boards and see if I can find someone who can identify with my crappy situation and offer any constructive advice that is legal and doesn't involve beating him over the head with a tire iron.

Meanwhile I hope whatshername, celibacy thingymabob, has been to the library and done some research - the dappled sunlight and red deer was a tad unbelievable. Or perhaps I am just bitter, twisted and cynical?

[Gster]

you've come to the right thread then Beam :)

[AnyFucker]

good luck, beam (might see you on the Relationships topic, I live in the wardrobe over there)

[WhatsWrongWithYou]

Welcome aboard - you'll fit right in!

[BrianAndHisBalls]

I found out mine was cheating when I put my hand on his cock in our incredibly expensive hotel suite and found myself wondering what the 'nobbly' bits were

[Gster]

Mine cheated on a family holiday :-(

[bupcakesandcunting]

I haven't left the thread, I'm still with you. It's just been very hard to type with one hand.

It IS difficult isn't it, Gster?

[northernrock]

I 'll see your "nobbly bits" and "family holiday" and raise you "three years of two timing me with another(ugly) woman...

[BrianAndHisBalls]

Buppy, do you mind ?? Gster and I were bonding over our exs cheating, then you come barging in with your all fur coat and no knickers ways


Now the deer is crying too.

[northernrock]

Hands off Ginster Bupcakes.My cheque has already cleared.

[BrianAndHisBalls]

Im intrigued by how you do it on a family holiday though... did they arrange to meet up there or bumped into each other by chance or only met that week???

Northern - two years?