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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

1002 replies

Celibacyisnotforme · 15/05/2011 20:37

Excuse the pun... Grin

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated... Grin

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 22:13

is there any nice ham on the buffet ?

< adjusts ball gag >

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 22:13

you fancy gster in 'her' special outfit though huh tech?

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:14

Well he does have long legs and a saucy smile...

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:14

There is a buffet!

Sod this lezzer malarky, if there is nice ham I am there! Or we could combine.

FellatioNelson · 24/05/2011 22:16
Confused
Thingumy · 24/05/2011 22:16
TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:17

Careful, that bit isn't ham!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:17
TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:19

Now THAT is naughty!!

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 22:19
AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 22:20

loosen up, FN Grin

< proffers rolled-up ham with squirt of mayo to FN >

AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 22:20

this party has gone from zero to faaaabulous in 60 seconds flat Smile

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 22:24
TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:26

Now its just getting mucky, slippery and erm hammy..

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:28

Hmm you lot are filthy. I like Mumsnet!

AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 22:31

that ham is a bit fatty

< takes the scissors to it >

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:31

How I wish DW were still awake!

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 22:33
TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:35

Gsters legs go all the way to the floor.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:35

Fnar at cocktail sausage.. I prefer a foot long myself...

I love the Mumsnet filth, it makes my sad RL that much more entertaining.

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:36

Can I share some dip?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:37

Of course, I'm not sure what it is... smells.. fishy..

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:38

I'll taste test it...hmmm prawn , no.... anchovie i think.

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 22:39

Who's the blonde? Waiter, there's a pube in my dip...

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 22:40

Ugh.. pubes in the dip... its not natural yoghurt you know

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