to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

You still boasting about your height Gster? Tut tut.

I just remembered about OP wearing stockings, with summer dress to the woods. Daft girl, surely stockings would make her legs too hot?

Silentbob, you look sod all like Mr biggins.

lolol at this thread.

Christ I missed the swingers party last night.

You blokes will be invited to the next MN meet up. Then we can all stand there and rub our thighs Vic Reeves fashion, and terrify you all to death.

my height ?

Waoh, hang on cannydoit

Don't think for a moment that I didn't see your 'lesbian whore bags... psammy ' reference!

I will have you know that I was out having a romantic dinner with my husband at the time of the debauchery.

To celebrate our marriage akkktually.

It was them others who was biting thighs and whatnot. I wasn't involved at all, yer honour.

Stupid anniversary, missed all the fun

I'm relatively new here and have been castigated for having an opinion.

sigh

I hate cliquey forums.

yeah that happened to me, you just need to hang in there

Beam if you are going to express your opinion in those terms, others will do it back to you.

beam no we are not cliquey - honest guv. Poor old ginster was slagged off earlier on, we all love him now. And nobody spoke to me for at least 6 months when I joined in, so good on you for posting something and being acknowledged.

It's fun round here, give it a try.

Everyone spoke to me on my first day

I bounced in and insisted on it.

Beam ,this forum is not cliquey. It's a mixture of all kinds. If you comment on a thread, expect to be picked up on it by one side or both.

I get flamed regularly, don't worry about it. Go with the flow, come on in, the water's lovely.

Getorf, if I went to a meetup, there would be no Vic Reeves thigh rubbing, just lots of tutting and screwed up faces.

Screwed up faces?

Ignore me!

Even my dirty mind can't comprehend how screwed up faces would end up in gutter.

Hmmmm am I brave enough to find a photo for my profile? Nope!

Screwed up faces.....crinkled up eyes......come faces.... Ringing any bells TLD? Tsk, keep up!

Sex doesn't ring any bells for me, it's been tooooooo long.

But yes, the penny has dropped now, cheers.

them dirty bastards made me do it

I was not (feeling) myself

Goodness, I was dirtier than TLD.

I think mumsnet has corrupted me over the years you know.

When I first joined I was called a 'wholesome dullard'.

After a year or so, I was a 'cunting sand fairy'

Now I am a 'lesbian whorebag'.

One wonders where one goes from here...

The only way is down.

You lot have made me ROAR

But Beam...I don't think anyone was castigating your opinion, were they? I feel sure I just made passing comment on your odd turn of phrase is all.

Btw, I really do need to see that picture of Ginster. What if he arrives on our date at Scots Corner and I don't like the look of him?

Someone advised me against joining mumsnet. I was told everyone was precious and sanctimonious.

But bloody hell, you all seem superb!! I have never seen such fabulous usernames on a forum before and the C word is used with such panache.

I love the way you can say what you really want then change it whatever you want without being edited by moderators.

I'm quite tempted to ask for some advice about my current diabolical situation.
Maybe not though, not just yet.:(

Just remember the answer to ANY post in Am I being unreasonable is ALWAYS Yes.

So expect a bun fight

Beam - MN at its best when you need support. I have a card from some flowers and chocolates to prove it. And the virtual support has been even better. You can always name change if you feel shy.

hahahahahhahaha beam be prepared if you ask for advice you will get people that will be lovely and people that will shit all over you and not in a fun way. and there are plenty of people on here that are sanctimonious alls they are funny. psammy i was not calling just you a lesbian whore bag i was in fact referring to everyone but was most shocked by (not, saucy minx).
i hate my router making me come in to my front room and on to my pc and having to talk to my children to get on mumsnet uck.

my goodness i missed so many words out there, well two... know. and you. totally ruins the flow