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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

still to be hacked off about this?

175 replies

brownbug78 · 06/01/2011 17:15

Our very close mates had their 2nd child, a baby boy, a few months ago, and to our absolute horror, they called him the same name as our son (a couple of years older)!

I just don't know how to act now with them, it is so awkward when we see them, and if I'm honest, I'm still seething about it! In our company, they call him by a shortened nickname version (which he doesn't respond to, incidentally!) just to distinguish between the two children!!

On top of this, 3 weeks before he was born, we asked what their name options were, and they said they didn't know!

AIBU to have thought that SUCH close friends could have just, I don't know, PICKED ANOTHER NAME!!

OP posts:
WhereTheWildThingsWere · 06/01/2011 17:17

Yes you are.

Get over yourself it is a name you don't own it.

'To your absolutle horror' indeed Hmm.

charliesmommy · 06/01/2011 17:17

Its possible that they had always planned on that name, or its a family name perhaps.

There is no reason for it to cause an awkward situation.

YAB a bit U.. and there is nothing you can do about it either...

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/01/2011 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorticiaAddams · 06/01/2011 17:18

YABU. They have given their child the name they want, it doesn't belong to you.

They have to chose a name they want their son to live with for the rest of his life and just because you are close friends now it doesn't mean it will last or that your sons will be friends.

storminabuttercup · 06/01/2011 17:18

Er, in the nicest possible way, YABU, take it as a compliment, they like the name, not worth losing friends over!

HappySkiingGardeningNewYear · 06/01/2011 17:19

Um, unless you had registered the name at the patent office YABVU

Ray81 · 06/01/2011 17:21

I think YABU tbh, its not 'your' name to put a claim on it, they had every right to use it if they realy liked it.

When i was pg with DD2 i liked the name of my closest friends DD2 and told her so, she said she didnt mind if i wanted to use it and that she would take it as a compliment. As it happens i didnt use it as we are so close and see each other nearly every day so would have been confusing for the DDs but i still love the name and love my friend because she would have been happy for me to use it.
On the other hand another friend has picked a name for when and if she has a DD, i liked that name to but didnt use it as she said she would be upset with me if i did, needless to say she isnt that close a friend anymore.

skyswept · 06/01/2011 17:22

YABU

you don't own a name.

HaveAHappyNewJung · 06/01/2011 17:23

Haha you can't be serious OP?!?

methodsandmaterials · 06/01/2011 17:24

You sound a bit mad.

NewYearNewPants · 06/01/2011 17:24

I bet it's Sam or Josh or Finn or some other Top 20 name, isn't it?

Get over yourself, love.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 06/01/2011 17:24

Unless your son's name is Felixstowe Remington Steel or whatever I'd say YABVU.

What they choose to name their son is absolutely NONE of your business.

How about you share in their pleasure at having a new son rather than waste your energy on something that's chuff all to do with you?

MardyBra · 06/01/2011 17:26

Yep, YABU for all the above reasons.

I know it's probably annoying but surely worse things could happen to a friendship than a bit of name copying.

gordyslovesheep · 06/01/2011 17:29

is he called Dave?

seriously you are being daft - names are universal and not copy written!

curlymama · 06/01/2011 17:29

Are you for real?

You do realise that you don't actually own the name don't you? And they can name their child whatever the hell they like?

If anyone is causing awkwardness when you see them, it's you.

BubbleBobble · 06/01/2011 17:29

The only thing you're being unreasonable about is the fact they call your son by a shortened version of the name that he doesn't respond to. If that's not his name - tell them to use the full version.

Saying that, I do think the other posters have been a bit harsh. It isn't any of your business what someone else calls your child, but I do know how I'd feel if a close friend called their DS the same name as mine and I can understand why you feel a bit upset about it. Still, there's nothing you can do and you certainly can't ever bring it up with them.

BubbleBobble · 06/01/2011 17:29

*calls THEIR child.

Muira · 06/01/2011 17:32

Hmm at 'absolute horror'

Maybe when your child was born, your friends said to themselves 'thats our name!' and went ahead anyway. Because it's only a name.

My best friend has the same name as me, our parents were close friends, and there are seven weeks in age between us. I was born first. All of us liked the fact that there were two Muiras and they were best friends.

Get yourself some perspective!

Catsmamma · 06/01/2011 17:33

dying to know what the name is.....

Thelastnameleft · 06/01/2011 17:33

See I can kind of get this, my ex husband got together with his new wife very shortly after we split up.

Fast forward a few years and they have a baby boy called the name me and my ex husband had discussed when we were together (should we have had a boy)

I was a teeny bit miffed but not outraged as he obviously liked the name.

Just saying I can kind of understand this in a way.

OP, I dont think its worth losing a friend over tbh.

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/01/2011 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dexifehatz · 06/01/2011 17:34

YANBU.There are absolutely thousands of names to choose from and they choose the exact same one as you.I'd be more pissed off that they didn't tell you beforehand.Does this indicate to you that they may have guessed your reaction?

tomhardyismydh · 06/01/2011 17:34

I would be upset if a very close friend named thier child the same name as my dc, so i dont think YABU. but my dc does have a deliberatly chosen unusual name.

lovinme · 06/01/2011 17:34

actually I don't think uabu,if my close friend named their child the same name as my child I would be v v pissed off and think they were a weirdo,if it was someone that was just a friend I wouldn't care but best friend it would be strange and I think mutual friends of ours would find it weird aswell.

ajandjjmum · 06/01/2011 17:37

I'd be a bit unhappy about it - particularly as they didn't talk it over with you first.

Then again, is it a popular name, in which case it (for some reason!) seems more acceptable.

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