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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

still to be hacked off about this?

175 replies

brownbug78 · 06/01/2011 17:15

Our very close mates had their 2nd child, a baby boy, a few months ago, and to our absolute horror, they called him the same name as our son (a couple of years older)!

I just don't know how to act now with them, it is so awkward when we see them, and if I'm honest, I'm still seething about it! In our company, they call him by a shortened nickname version (which he doesn't respond to, incidentally!) just to distinguish between the two children!!

On top of this, 3 weeks before he was born, we asked what their name options were, and they said they didn't know!

AIBU to have thought that SUCH close friends could have just, I don't know, PICKED ANOTHER NAME!!

OP posts:
MrsPennySworth · 06/01/2011 20:57

That is very cool Euphemia!

I loved the name of my husbands ex girlfriend who was his main ex (iykwim) before me but calling our daughter that did just feel too weird - imagine if she found out! (and it was a name that was about 120th in the chart too so not amazingly popular).

LindyHemming · 06/01/2011 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picturerail · 06/01/2011 21:04

Oh! That's not what she said in her second post was it?? She's probably just confused Wink. Perhaps the horror she feels at this issue has led to a complete mental breakdown?? Anyway i wonder what OP would say about this - the same friend who used "my" name has recently had her kitchen done in the exact same style as mine AND went on holiday last year to somewhere i've always wanted to go to. Imagine that?! Friends having similar tastes. Bet the OP's head would spin off her shoulders! .

Clunge · 06/01/2011 21:59

Mumsnet is a right bitchfest isn't it. Meh.

LittleMissHissyFit · 06/01/2011 22:10

brownbug, have skimmed through so not caught the full splendour of replies to your OP, but I think that you have finally accepted that you are being a smidge U.

If they had not pissed you off with something else you wouldn't have flinched.

Your DS is a few years older than theirs, a Big Olly and a little Olly for example is fine.

The edited text is a bit suspect, for sure.

What ELSE have they done?

Euphemia Quality not quantity!

picturerail copying my kitchen would seriously piss me off and using one of my DC names in addition to that would be enough for me to do a Euphemia tbh... Grin

skyswept · 06/01/2011 22:12

To be fair all the names between 70 and 90 are quite, erm, distinctive. If they are that close to you then they have used (not taken) the name. I think you should try and feel flattered as it is a compliment. If they have acted sheepishly then they are probably waiting to see what you say about it. I couldn't have named my son after a baby I didn't really like or love. It would not be worth losing a friend over.

Earthakitten · 06/01/2011 22:19

Actually, it's EarthaKitten.

But don't you fucking DARE name your daughter that. The horror!

Earthakitten · 06/01/2011 22:21

And just to warn you, since you've posted on MN before but never got the hang of AIBU, you will be crucified for AIBU by stealth if you now start drip feeding information about why you hate them so much, these "very close friends" of yours, you know the ones who are "such close friends"

luvmy2dsndd · 06/01/2011 22:34

including me and my 2 friends we have all got boys called charlie, so nicknames for them r chaz, charlie boy and charlie so they dont get confused and also my best friends sons called jack which my other sons called too, so ones called jack jack or little jack and my sons just called jack. it shows we all have good taste in naming our children. We never get confused and neither do our children!

ZacharyQuack · 06/01/2011 22:35

It's Zachary isn't it Angry

That's my name!

Horror!

Breezy1985 · 06/01/2011 23:16

My sister has hyphenated her DD and DS's first names, the second names are my DS and DD's names.

It hasn't bothered me, as my DS's name is a family name and we all said we would use it, i just got there first Grin no idea why she chose her DD's name though!

My little sister has the same middle name as me no idea why, i like to think she was named after me, she is 21 years younger Grin

scottishmummy · 06/01/2011 23:26

they can pick any name they wish.you dont have dibs.and they dont need to tell you either

Bideyin · 06/01/2011 23:32

A good friend of mine named her second child with the same name as mu older son. There's a difference in age of the children of about 8 years or so. I didn't mind at all and it hasn't caused any problems.

Bideyin · 06/01/2011 23:32

my sorry

maryz · 06/01/2011 23:37

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cerealqueen · 06/01/2011 23:44

Maybe they always loved it, its a family name, after a beloved relative, and they were peeved when you chose it, who knows. But its odd they never said a word!

I have a cousin of the same name, two sisters who chose the same name. I never wondered about it though!

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 06/01/2011 23:45

I can understand being a bit miffed if it's an unusual name, but it doesn't sound as though it's particularly unusual and I can't understand still being "seething" and "awkward" and not knowing how to act about them several months later.

None of the names we had shortlisted for DS had he been a girl got used for DD1 three years later or will be used for DD2

If the friendship isn't what it was and you just plain don't like them very much any more, that's a perfectly justified reason for cooling things off by itself. You don't need to pin it on the name issue.

cmmayhem · 06/01/2011 23:54

Think some of you are being a bit harsh. We all have things that piss us off that others think are no big deal. Think I might be a tad peeved if I was their kid with the same fucking name as yours have a bit of originality please.

ladela · 06/01/2011 23:59

When I was pregnant with my 13 year old I really loved the name Hannah. Unfortunately my best mate did too and her baby was born 10 weeks before mine so she used it (didnt bother me - just one of those things).

I haven't seen former best mate for the last 11 years (nothing to do with the name thing btw lol) so I could've called my baby Hannah anyway, it wouldn't have mattered.

Maybe your friend is going to ditch you? Shock

YABU but she was too for not mentioning it. Not worth losing a friend over though.

HelenaCC · 07/01/2011 00:01

I think YABU a name is for life and in that context it doesn't matter if your ds and your friends ds share a name. When a name is right it doesn't matter who else is called the same thing.

COCKadoodledooo · 07/01/2011 00:10

I just looked at that list. Ds1's is around halfway down, but ds2's doesn't appear at all. I'm really Shock by that, because I thought it was a nice traditional name (but then i guess society seems to have moved away from that toward the allegedly more unusual, but now with so many of them common, name Hmm).

Even with that bit of knowledge, I don't think I'd have been miffed if my friend had gone ahead with it. I may have thought it unusual, but she clearly has her reasons for using it just as we did.

OP, do you REALLY think your friends did it just to piss you off??

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 07/01/2011 00:24

Two days after i'd had my DD, my friend called her tortoise the same thing.

AIBU to be annoyed? Lol..

herbietea · 07/01/2011 00:41

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elliephant · 07/01/2011 00:44

Not sure if any of this makes sense but here goes ..

I have about 38 1st cousins. If I remember rightly, 19 have the same name as one or more cousins. For example my father and all 6 of his siblings have a child named John.So thats 7 Johns and another 1 on my mother's side. Oh and my DB as well.

Another 6 cousins on either side of the family tree (ie they are related to me but not to each other) have the same names.

This does not include the parents and grandparents they are named after.

On Dh's side there are two ( very common) family names in use by each generation.

Obviously orginality is not our middle name.

maryz · 07/01/2011 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.