still to be hacked off about this?

[brownbug78]

Our very close mates had their 2nd child, a baby boy, a few months ago, and to our absolute horror, they called him the same name as our son (a couple of years older)!

I just don't know how to act now with them, it is so awkward when we see them, and if I'm honest, I'm still seething about it! In our company, they call him by a shortened nickname version (which he doesn't respond to, incidentally!) just to distinguish between the two children!!

On top of this, 3 weeks before he was born, we asked what their name options were, and they said they didn't know!

AIBU to have thought that SUCH close friends could have just, I don't know, PICKED ANOTHER NAME!!

It has also just occurred to me that two of my cousins - a brother and sister- have the male and female versions of the same name ( my name actually) - and we all use the same abbreviation.

i called our DS1 the same name as someone who is a close family friend, although her DS was 14 when our DS was born. he loves that i named him Jack.

The list of those names is:

Brandon

Hayden

Zachary

Kieran

Luca

Ashton

Bailey

Sebastian

Gabriel

Sam

Evan

Bradley

Elliot

John

Taylor

Joe

Corey

Reuben

Joel

Robert

Ellis

There are loads on there it could be!

(i know it's very many hours since someone posted, but my MN is put into stasis when I leave work until I come back in - first job of the day, check MN. then do real work... )

If it makes you feel any better, OP, last time I started an AIBU, there were 2 people who could kind of see why I might be upset, but that it wasn't my business and to keep schtum. Everyone else shouted at me for being selfish and grumpy.

I think everyone's been nice to you by comparison

Could be worse, my sister's going to name her son after herself .

Hang on a moment -- re-read OP and are you seriously suggesting that because this baby who is "a few months" old doesn't respond to the shortened version of his name they must be putting it on entirely for your benefit and don't actually call him by the shortened version at all when they aren't with you?

You do seem very determined to put the worst possible interpretation on everything they do.

Our very close mates had their 2nd child, a baby boy, a few months ago............ they call him by a shortened nickname version (which he doesn't respond to, incidentally!)

Well if he is only a few months old, he won't respond to his name yet, will he?

Aibu because someone on here said they have met 3 phoebes(my dd name)-that would piss me off! I think your friends have shown a severe lack of imagination but you will just have to get over it(or tell them to feck the feck off.

my favourite name is the first name of my friend's oldest, and the nickname version is my nephew's name.
I'm still going to use it when i have a boy ( if ), because it's lovely.
I won't shorten it, because I don't see friend's son very often (once a year if lucky! - they live in my old home town), but if it gets confusing, I'll just add his initial or something.

I think it's nice that your friend called her DS by the NN, because it shows that she was worried about how you felt - not hiding something.

Really sorry OP but I have to agree with the majority here. My best friend who has been my best friend since the day we started nursery together named her son after both of mine (one first name, one middle name iyswim) and I was extremely flattered. It would have never occured to me to be upset by this.

I think they were a bit odd to do this, and obviously feel awkward/self-conscious about it (hence the different text to you and the not mentioning it). I would be put off using a name of a close friend's child, but if for some reason I did want to use it, I would explain why to them (not necessarily before the birth if I didn't want to reveal names then, but definitely after.) You might want to bring it up in a relaxed way - 'By the way, we've wondered what made you choose xxxx, great name obviously, was there any reason or do you just like the name?' By the way, the potential name we have for DS3 (if he is indeed an S and not a D) is the same name as a friend's childhood dog. That put me off for a while, but it's one of the few names both DH and I like and that fit with DS1 and DS2's names. I expect the friend will feel a bit odd about it for a while. It is a proper person's name, not Rover or anything :)

Hmm not sure you are BU, maybe a bit for still being annoyed months later but not in principle. My v close friend named her little girl what we would've called our boy had he been a girl. I am now pregnant again and wouldn't have that name if I have a girl as its her girls name ikswim

The thing is OP, that name list was from 2008, and then your son's name (Zachary or Sebastian I'd bet!) is in the 70's. In the 2009 name list, both names have shot up about 10 places each. You just have to accept that you chose a very nice and popular name, and other people like it too. I'm sure it will only continue to get more and more popular and this won't be the first time you will encounter it, so just get over it.

This is by no means uncommon.

My SIL BEFORE she had any children tried to 'reserve' a name before our child was born for any children that she might have. Very very strange view but people do think that they own names in some weird way!

of course yabu and a bit bonkers

YABU, They are allowed to call him what they want. A friend of mine has a DD 20 months younger then DD3 and they called her the same name. Ithas never bothered me at all.

Rofl @ Wolfhound's "Not Rover or anything"

It's only a name. YABU.

I went home to my parents' place over Christmas and told them I'm expecting my first baby. They were obviously delighted, but my mum also fell about in fits of giggles and produced a yellowing sheet of paper she'd found during a recent clear out.

It was a list that myself and my friends at university had written about ten years ago stating all of the names we were going to call our future children. We'd even signed it along with a pledge that we wouldn't 'steal' the other names. (You may be able to tell this was a rather tongue-in-cheek drunken episode!)

Oh how my mum and I laughed. I certainly won't be using any of the names, but perhaps you might want to get your friends to do the same brownbug

For what it's worth, I think it's a bit weird to use the same name, surely it's quite flattering too? You must have great taste!

I have 3 names from that list

ds1, ds2 and one of the cats....rofl! :D

Jenga what were the names? WHen i was at uni I wanted to call any girl I had either Stephanie or Lauren, and a boy William. Would still go with William (but have girls and no plans for another DC!) but Stephanie and Lauren sound very 90s now!!!!

I would be flattered and think it was rather sweet. Certainly wouldnt come over all mafioso muttering dark threats about ending the friendship like the OP. I bet the name is Jack.

Mickeyjohn my daughter would have been Stephanie too - fight you for it

Haha, I won't tell you what the names were for fear of offending anyone. I still really like some of them on their own, but in our eagerness to 'own' as many names as possible we appear to have added at least three middle names each. I pity our poor imaginary children! Hopefully I will choose more wisely when the real one comes along.

I can see both sides to this. If you're talking best friend - yes I'd be a bit baffled but certainly not horrified. If you're talking 'couply' friends that you see every now and then just take it as a compliment. But....if it's a top 20 name I think you are most certainly being unreasonable.