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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

still to be hacked off about this?

175 replies

brownbug78 · 06/01/2011 17:15

Our very close mates had their 2nd child, a baby boy, a few months ago, and to our absolute horror, they called him the same name as our son (a couple of years older)!

I just don't know how to act now with them, it is so awkward when we see them, and if I'm honest, I'm still seething about it! In our company, they call him by a shortened nickname version (which he doesn't respond to, incidentally!) just to distinguish between the two children!!

On top of this, 3 weeks before he was born, we asked what their name options were, and they said they didn't know!

AIBU to have thought that SUCH close friends could have just, I don't know, PICKED ANOTHER NAME!!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 06/01/2011 18:28

YABVVVVU you dont own that name, they can call him what they want within reason. I would see it as a compliment tbh, get overyourself.

Earthakitten · 06/01/2011 18:29

WHAT IS THE NAME????

You've given away enough now for it not to matter, if they read the thread they'll know it's you with your absolute horror

seeker · 06/01/2011 18:29

I wouldn't be upset, but I do think it is a bonkers thing to do in purely practical terms if you are close friends and see a lot of each other. Always having to specifu which Fred you mean would be a pain in the neck. But it's not an occasion for horror and outrage, IMHO>

warthog · 06/01/2011 18:30

i used to think yabu, until it happened to me!

a name IS personal - it's the name of your beloved child. someone close to you uses it it does feel like an infringement.

so i'm with you. YANBU

Littlefish · 06/01/2011 18:30

For heaven's sake grow up.

It's hardly a major deal. You are being ridiculous.

GiddyPickle · 06/01/2011 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

COCKadoodledooo · 06/01/2011 18:34

Are you sure they only call him by the nickname around you and not all the time? And he's a few months? Pfft @ not recognising/responding to it - I believe around 5 months is average for that.

And like more before me Hmm @ absolute horror. Gerrover it Grin

My mate (ds2's godmother) told me after her ds2 was born, almost a year after my ds2, that she's always wanted a baby named the same as ds2. She joked that I'd "stolen it" (not at all, I had no idea about her feelings for it, but tbh dh chose it and we'd have used it anyway!), so I tld her if she'd really wanted to have it she should have used it for her ds1 :-P

We'd maybe have thought twice about using it had her ds1 been called it (we're very close and the kids are likely to grow up substantially together), but I reckon as it means something to us we'd have used it anyway.

So yeah, unless it's something reeeeeally unusual, or as a pp has suggested, you patented it, then imo YABU.

Tabliope · 06/01/2011 18:35

It depends how unusual the name is. If it's something like Jack then they might have not copied you but wanted the name anyway. If it's more unusual like Hector then they might be copying you. I think if that's the case they should have asked "do you mind, we've always loved the name". Odd not to have mentioned it beforehand to you.

COCKadoodledooo · 06/01/2011 18:37

warthog

a name IS personal - it's the name of your beloved child. someone close to you uses it it does feel like an infringement.

Are you suggeting that op's friends merely used someone else's name because they couldn't be arsed to think of one for themselves? Don't you think that maybe the name might mean something to them/be personal to them too? shakes head

BabyDubsEverywhere · 06/01/2011 18:42

If your son is named Taquinneous-fignineous then you are deffinatly NOT being unreasonable. If its anything that i have heard of then YABU, naming a child is the first most important thing you do for your little one, and not going with your favourite name because current friends have a son a few years older with the same name would be ridiculous. They could have handeld it better, but clearly they didnt feel able to talk to you about this, for whatever reason.

try to take it as a compliment Smile

psst - whats the name?

geezmyfeetarecold · 06/01/2011 18:45

Im sorry but thats one of the most ridiculous things Ive ever heard OP

Tabliope · 06/01/2011 18:47

When my DS was born, before I knew what sex he was, I liked the name Phoebe for a girl. I thought it unusual and that there wouldn't be many of them (if any). I had a boy in the end so didn't use the name. I subsequently met 3 other mums (none of whom knew each other) who had named their babies Phoebe, all the same age. Sometimes you don't realise what is becoming popular. What's the name? We can't decide if YBU till we know it.

OTheHugeManatee · 06/01/2011 18:50

Epic arf at Taquineous-fignineous. I am going to ttc just so I can call the baby that Grin

CamelToeAndWine · 06/01/2011 18:52

Really don't get the "they stole our name" thing.

What if met someone who later became a close friend, and it turned out that both your kids had the same name? Would it bother you? Would it really be SO confusing when you were all together?

Get over it. It's not YOUR name. If they really like it, why on earth should they NOT use it just because you happened to have a baby first?!

sweetcornfortea · 06/01/2011 18:52

what is the name?

lochnessmumster · 06/01/2011 18:53

WHAT'S THE NAME? AAAAAAAARGH!
PLease please tell me the name. If you ABU or not depends quite a lot on the name.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 06/01/2011 18:53

"When she was pregnant with her 1st, a DD, they didn't know what the sex was and we were discussing what girls' and boys' names they were going to have. The name of our son (who was a couple months old at the time) WAS NOT one of the two boys' names they had chosen."

maybe they're changed their minds on the names they like? I have 3 boys - during each pregnancy when I didn't know what gender I was having my girls name choices changed. So DS3 would have had a different name to the one that we'd chosen when I was pg with DS1.

CamelToeAndWine · 06/01/2011 18:54

I don't think it makes a jot of difference what the name is, tbh.

Original poster
brownbug78 · 06/01/2011 18:55

I'm fairly new to Mumsnet, and I've got to be honest and say I'm quite taken aback at how vicious some of these answers are.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but is it really necessary to be so unpleasant when putting it across? We're all essentially strangers on here, with the exception of a few: we don't know each other, we don't know each other's lives, and I guess I was hoping that this might be somewhere I could just come and unload without being judged as people in the RW would. Sadly wrong, I feel. :-(

OP posts:
FifiFucksalot · 06/01/2011 18:57

But what's the name?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 06/01/2011 18:58

what is the name before you slam the door behind you please

PatriciaHolm · 06/01/2011 18:59

Brownbug - AIBU is not somewhere to offload without being judged, which would have been obvious if you'd lurked a little longer. Other topics on the site are generally a little more forgiving...

CamelToeAndWine · 06/01/2011 19:01

Thing is, you're asking a question, so people are going to answer it honestly.

COCKadoodledooo · 06/01/2011 19:02

Tabliope Oh yes we can Grin

BabyDubsEverywhere · 06/01/2011 19:03

Bet I got the name right, that's why she's leaving, op we are nice really, just on other topics Grin

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