So ever since I've known my partner he has drunk every night. Minimum is 2 beers on rare occasions but mostly 3-4 beers. It can be more. His whole family drinks a lot. Like a bottle of wine per night.
before DD it's was annoying, but ok. Once I got pregnant. I told him he needed to stop before she arrived. It caused many arguments. I made it clear that he cannot be in charge of her once he has had more than one beer, this was a compromise as I was early postpartum and was desperate for a break. He works long days so that leaves almost all the childcare to me bar maybe 2 hours in the morning. If he gets up.
he has prioritised beers over a proper food shop, over a raincoat for DD as well as many other things. Even after repeatedly saying he needs to cut down and it is affecting our lives. He won't stop. He says he only spends £35 a week on it. But I know it's more. He has hidden bottles from me. And lied to my face about drinking.
if I bring up drinking in front of other people he says I'm throwing him under the bus. If he do bring it up at home he gets dismissive and shits down which creates this heavy feeling in the house that I end up trying to fix.
there was and incident when he came to bed and threw the dog off the bed and the bang was so loud it woke me up. Which is worrying.
my therapist had to make the referral to social services because of it. And now I feel guilty like I've done something wrong and maybe it isn't as bad as I think. He doesn't think he has a problem. But in the 5 years I've known him he hasn't gone one night without drinking.
i've been going back and forth about leaving him. I feel lost and confused.
any advice?