The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid welcomes you. Decks have been swabbed, cannons prepared. But the key to the chops cabinet seems to have gone astray...

Thanks for the new thread @REP22 x

Saluting Captain Repp. X

Thanks @REP22 Sid forever handsome x

Thanks for the new thread, 20 days today, feeling good, thanks for the info on the alcohol experiment, think I will give it a try xx

😍

Reporting for duty, Captain @REP22, and a salute to @Lavrander for sterring us through the last one.

My canine house guest has packed his bag today and headed home with son and DIL. I'll miss the sound of his paws on the floors, and being met every morning with the present of a dog toy.

I've washed the cushion covers to rid the place of his pong signature scent, which, similar to that of his Frenchie cousin, is only ever apparent when he's left the building. It will be business as usual soon. One of the things I noticed when stopping drinking was how much more interested in keeping the house looking good I was, and still am. It was often a tip in the days when I'd get in from work after 'a bite to eat' (always with wine) which led to 'moving on' for more on the way home, and then to 'a nightcap' before bed. I now take real pleasure in living somewhere clean and tidy, and although I'm no domestic goddess I enjoy spending time here.

Another good thing for newbies to look forward to (if applicable) is when your digestive system settles down. It can take a while, so don't despair, but alcohol is such an irritant of every part of the body, which needs a bit of time to get used to it not being there. For many of us it has taken years to get to the point of giving up, so it's unrealistic to expect everything to reset overnight. It's the same with sleeping patterns and weight loss - some people lose weight immediately, and others (like me😢) just don't. Some get into a regular sleeping pattern much faster than others. Most of us get vivid dreams for a while, usually after the first week or two. Whatever happens, it's wise to remember that even if we aren't sleeping or losing weight, our bodies are repairing as long as we don't drink, so we shouldn't give up.

Following on from my post on the previous thread, I am sitting here now thinking back and asking myself why exactly I started drinking again after (relatively) lengthy spells of sobriety.

I know after my eight month stint I had some wine while out for a meal with people.

We had just moved again (we have moved an awful lot of times, due to my husband’s job) and we were out for said meal and I thought sod it, I’ll have some wine.

I’ve been so good for so long and I deserve it. 🙄

There was no reason for me to do that. My husband wasn’t drinking and there were other people there who also weren’t.

But of course that was that and I was off the wagon again.

Things were ok-ish for a short while, but eventually I went back to my old habits and drank way too much, way too often.

I had another spell of seven months off and I definitely know exactly why I started drinking again then.

I was about to go home for the first time in four years (family estrangement, long story) and I was so petrified that I started on the wine.

And it was all for nothing anyway because I didn’t get to see my family anyway (and still haven’t to this day).

But yes, there’s been a lot of pain in my life for a long time and I know that my drinking is not helping with any of that.

My husband (who is the only reason I am still around) was so happy when I said I’d give quitting another try.

He has been through the mill with me (I tried to take my own life back in 2018).

Day 3. Again. For the umpteenth time.

Sorry, that was long and depressing!!

@GunnelVallquist I'm early in the alcohol free journey (100 days today yay!) but i remember reading that the more times you try the more likely you are to succeed. So well done you for your determination.

I just wanted to jump on to celebrate my 100 days with you all and to thank you. So much wisdom on these threads. Its been so very helpful.

Oh, bless you @GunnelVallquist 💐 You don't ever need to be apologising for the reasons that brought you here. You can probably count on the fingers of less than one finger the number of us who AREN'T here because of something that's led us to seek solutions that don't exist in a glass that is never empty.

I'm sorry for what you have endured, and are still facing. You are strong, and I am glad you have your DH. I too would no longer be alive in this world, at my own hands, if it weren't for the actions of another. Please know that this world is a better place because you are alive in it.

Sorry you're missing your canine chum @ShyMaryEllen. Sid's mother was a Frenchie, but he is remarkably fragrant (and very wipe-cleanable, as @Gribouille mentioned on the last thread) - but I suspect he's the exception to the rule. We watched a vet programme last night, the chap was treating an elderly female Frenchie and got both-barrelled flatulence full in the face.

I posted on the last thread in reply to one of your posts @GunnelVallquist - but I'll repeat it here as well, just in case...

You mentioned about not being able to moderate - I can't moderate either - I have tried, but failed each time. If it's in the house, it'll get drunk. And I am most certainly one who used drink to numb trauma and blunt the thoughts in my head, especially at night. It was never about the taste and enjoyment of the drink for me. The trouble is, that they're still there in your headspace. I used to call it "self-medicating/anaesthesia". Unhappily, though, the further it goes on, the worse the effects of the drinking are, plus they are then added to the mix of having to deal with the trauma that never actually went away as well. A perfect storm of sh~te. It's not easy having to cope without the false liquid "friend" - but putting it down is a start on the path to a better tomorrow. Life is f~cking unfair sometimes. Sadly, drink doesn't make it any less fair, and we still have to deal with the awfulness along with the carnival of numpties who often come out to laugh and wave as we stumble along through the world's sh~ttest procession.

After all, if it truly did help, then the happiest people on Earth would be those ones you see in the streets being tipped out of nightclubs at 3am, laughing merrily as they puke over pavements and coppers' shoes and skipping gleefully home, arm-in-arm with cheery mates.

It's hard to imagine coping without it. Scary. But you can. And, actually, you're a pretty fantastic person. You're worth sitting there sober with. You've made it this far - won't it be great to see what happens next? Day 3 is a mighty step, and took courage. I know you can do it. What adventures lie ahead for you and your husband to enjoy?

Tomorrow I have the twin joys of coned-off motorway and big out-of-town retail park as M would like a new coat. 😬 But I will be sober and thus thankful for the opportunity. And Sid and I have a special outing to look forward to next weekend, so that will cheer my soul as I stalk the aisles of oldies' undies and reinforced gussets - for 'twill never be only a coat where a big M&S is involved...

Keep going. It will be OK. xx

Yayy!! 100 days @MagicalCrocodile - utter legend! Sid is dancing the hellacious hula for you. Or, he will be, when he's finished retrieving the chops cupboard key that he thinks I don't know he's hidden in his emergency trousers.

Seriously fantastic stuff. Well done. ❤️ x

Emergency trousers! 🤣🤣🤣

We all need 'em. Sometimes reinforced gussets are also a feature. 😉 x

Reporting for duty Captain @REP22🫡
Hehe giggling already.

Bloody well done @MagicalCrocodile. How do you feel?

I'm sorry for what you've been through @GunnelVallquist. This is your time now ❤️

Congrats on the 100 days!

Hopefully that’ll be me in 97 days!!

Thank you so much for your kind words, they made me cry.

Thank you 😭

I am (supposed to be) going home at the end of the month and actually meet up with my family for the first time in eleven years.

Well, with my parents anyway. I am not sure if I’ll get to meet my sister and niece and nephew.

I am so so scared and no doubt I will want to have a drink badly, so I am going to use all my willpower to not let that happen.

Your boy is so lovely btw. ❤️ How old is he?

We used to have a dog, but unfortunately he has been gone for many years (he did live to the grand age of fourteen though).

Sorry, that was a lot of posts.

My suggestion @GunnelVallquist would be to not get too stressed now about whether you’re going to drink at the end of the month. If you can keep going for today (and repeat) you will be what? 30 days sober by then? The world may feel a very different place by then.

There’s a great phrase in running which is “run the mile you’re in” - in other words, what is in front of you right now? What can you control? It is very good for life generally- although much harder to do when tired, stressed etc (I am currently being very bad at this because I am sleep deprived due to medication!!)

Just do what you need to do to get through tonight without drinking. Do you have a plan?

Thank you so much for that.

I’ll be exactly 28 days sober by then.

Weirdly I have no craving for wine at the moment. But that’s usually the case for me when I’ve overdone it; the first few days I don’t even want it.

But I’m aware that’ll probably change over the next few days.

I hope you manage to get some sleep; it’s horrible feeling like a zombie.

Thank you @GunnelVallquist - Sid is 7. He is a Blue Cross rescue; I've had him for three and a half years. I'm sorry you lost your dog. They do tend to leave holes in our hearts. I'm lucky that Sid walks beside me. It was for his predecessor that I got sober. She deserved better than drunk me. Sid keeps me true. He's a funny little fellow with a heart full of love. A big fan of Eurovision, much to the dismay of the local canine ladies, IYSWIM. 🌈😉

@Onewildandpreciouslife is absolutely right. Don't let fears and torments about what may never happen tomorrow pollute your enjoyment and choices for today. I know that's easier said than done though - I used to get myself in absolute bits about what might or might not happen in times to come and torments over past regrets, completely forgetting that this is the day in which we need to live.

You won't always feel like a zombie, I promise. x

Thank you so much @REP22 .

Sid sounds like a right character. ☺️

“…- I used to get myself in absolute bits about what might or might not happen in times to come and torments over past regrets, completely forgetting that this is the day in which we need to live…”
Yep, this is me.