The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Thank you for sharing this @needastrongone . I admire your resilience and strength and how you’re thinking of your children.

Not the same at all, but I think I need to start thinking about my husband and all of this is affecting him. He’s been nothing but kind to me both last night and this morning snd in a weird way that makes it worse.

I’m disgusted with myself and I feel angry that I have to start over yet again. And I’m wondering what people around here think when they see me staggering to the shops to come back with another bag (I’m sure people know).

This is the worst I’ve felt in a long long time and I’m not sure why it’s affected me so badly. I can only put it down to starting so early and not having had much to eat.

I do want to stop, I really do. This is no way to live, ruining my health (mental and physical), feeling like shit all the time, putting my husband through the mill and wasting so much money.

Thank you for your kind words. 🌺

Hi @pinkclouds26 , good to hear from you.

I’m in the same boat as you just now. After a week of not drinking I fell off the wagon yesterday.

Went for a long walk in the morning, bought a bottle on the way back. Told myself I wouldn’t open it until five o’clock. Then thought half four would be ok.

I opened it before twelve o’clock. Told myself the usual lie of ‘I’ll only have one glass now’

Yeah, that didn’t work.

I’d already finished the bottle when my husband called on his lunch break. He said’You’re not going out again, are you?’

And the worst bit is that I said no, of course I wasn’t going to do that, when I’d already made the decision to have more.

Fast forward to early hours of this morning and feeling so so ill.

So angry with myself. But hoping that anger will push me on.

We can do this. 🌺

@GunnelVallquist I'm sorry you feel so rotten 💐 It will pass ⛅You will feel so much better tomorrow!

Would it help to design-out opportunities for temptation - like changing working hours?

@ GunnelVallquist
You are doing the hard part over and over and over again, but I think you know that.
You do actually know that you can achieve not drinking as you've done it before for 8 months I believe you said?

There is absolutely no such thing as being able to have one glass and put the bottle away. This is something you know is a fact so you have to stop kidding yourself here. It's your mind playing tricks with you and the wine witch kidding you. It's impossible for us to do so start believing it's impossible and not possible.

This journey is not a straight road at all with many many twists and turns along the way. I've done one year and nearly four months and I'm thankfully back on a straight bit of road where it's all become much, much easier again. A few months ago it felt hard with the road winding and twisting around, then bang it clears again and is easier.

But one thing I absolutely swear to you is that the longer you stay off the dreaded bottle the easier it becomes. I can honestly say there are lots and lots of times now when it doesn't actually bother me. I can honestly say I'm glad I'm protecting my health and that I feel miles and miles better.

Is it the ritual you miss? Would it help drinking AF wine instead? I drink lots of AF options and treat them as the real thing accepting no dopamine hit, but also no hangover either!

Hi all,
We'll need a new thread. Is there anyone who would like to do it?
Just a hello to new people and a few tips and hints
We have twenty posts left.

I can host the next one, unless someone else wants to?

Happy to accept your kind offer @Onewildandpreciouslife. I’m happy to take a turn when I’m a little less new.

Really wise words @Kipperandarthur, and pertinent to us all on here. It’s the actual acceptance of that fact that’s the hard bit (for me, anyway).

Thank you @taylorean .

Unfortunately I’m not working at the moment (which is probably not helping matters).

Thank you @Kipperandarthur .

Yes, I managed eight months back in 2016.

And then seven months from Dec 2018 til Jul 2019. (I also did three months last year, over the summer)

I hate myself so much for starting again. And not just once, but several times.

I think you’re right and I need to stop kidding myself. I can’t drink at a ‘healthy’ level, I just can’t.

I honestly don’t think it’s the ritual as such…I drink to get relief from my ever racing mind and my depression. And I know drinking is the worst thing you can do when you already suffer with bad mental health. Deep down I know that.

The longest I’ve managed this year was four weeks (Dry January).

Ever since it’s been a pattern of a week or two (sometimes just a few days) of no booze, followed by drinking.

Rinse and repeat.

But I mean this kindly, drinking isn’t giving you relief from your depression is it?

It may give you a few moments of perceived peace, but then you wake up and it’s all still there and worse with a hangover and you are hating yourself even more.

Drink is not your friend it’s actually the opposite it’s your enemy.

One thing that is hard is that take away the alcohol and one has to sit with our feelings and emotions without alcohol masking them. But we then don’t get the crashing lows of hating ourselves even more when suffering from a hangover.

Keep talking on here but can I also gently suggest that you explore more counselling to help you deal with your depression which is underscoring all of this.

You obviously have a loving and supportive partner which is a huge plus point. I realise that you have many other issues surrounding other family members that you mention, but you do have a loving relationship that lots of other people sadly don’t enjoy.

Try just a few times a day flipping things around. Drink isn’t your friend it’s your enemy. My close loving relationship with my partner is the most important aspect of my life, not my more disappointing relationships with other people etc etc.

I have a huge tendency to reflect on everything that I perceive to be negative rather than focusing on my positives. Even just flipping thoughts can help build more confidence. I’m absolutely not downplaying severe depression and you sound as though you’re struggling at the moment. But we’ve seen photos of you and you look gorgeous. You clearly are intelligent and aware.

Perhaps exploring counselling again may help you find a more secure path for the future.

I’ve totally messed up. I’ve been sober two
weeks now. I wanted to do sober October but drank 11 days in the month. I can feel it creeping up again. Someone on here, I can’t remember who but thank you, suggested the 30
day alcohol challenge. I decided 1st November is a good time to start. Which meant tonight is a night to say goodbye. I also went to a Halloween party tonight. I tried to drink like a normal person. But I wanted more and more. We left and I got
a bottle to take away. Everyone was looking. But the need for drink was stronger than my shame. I said I wanted it for dinner tomorrow (shops are closed on a Sunday where I live). I would have opened it on the way home but I was walking with my neighbour. I’m sorry, I know stories about drinking aren’t welcome in this group. Tomorrow I will hate myself.

I will not drink today

Morning all.
I'm up early due to the dogs bladder!

DS is arriving later as the boys have a match.
Lamb roast.
I need broccoli so we'll pop out and I can get the Christmas magazines.

I'm sorry so many are struggling.

I think the world seems so grim at the moment.
Bloody men and their power plays. It's all b*llocks.
There is a psychology theory on love. Admiration is love and some will do anything to get it especially if they didn't get it from their parents. Dictators seek power and the most beautiful women but in the end it's just 'look at me'.
You don't see women burning up the world!

I'm back to fight a legal battle tomorrow. It won't be easy to achieve a positive outcome. I have to try and although I go in with a heavy heart I will be sober.

We are but a work in progress.

Morning all.

I am going to be out this morning so have set up the new thread in case this one fills up whilst I am offline. Please head on over here when the time is right!

Autumn 2026 thread

Morning everyone.

It’s November. A fresh start. A new month. One foot in front of the other people. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again @Conteffi x

Gently put @GunnelVallquist, I agree with @Kipperandarthur wise words. And yes, if it works for you, then focus on your DH first sure. I hope you have slept well and feel a little stronger.

Right - long run awaits. Have a great day all 😊

Sending hugs to @Conteffi @GunnelVallquist and @pinkclouds26

@Conteffi said “I tried to drink like a normal person”

This is so true - we all feel that it would be lovely if we could have one drink, be entertaining and glamorous, and then stop. But we can’t, we just can’t. Alcohol at some point stopped being something we did for fun. And I believe that if we cross that line, there is no way back. There is a stark choice: keep drinking and get pulled further and further into the chaos, or step off the treadmill and choose freedom.

Any one of us on here who has built up a reasonable period of sobriety knows the shame and self-hatred that goes with drinking. I think most of us would say “if I can get sober, anyone can.”

But I do sometimes look at someone drinking and feel a bit wistful. But then I remember the hunger for the next drink- the calculation of when it would look “normal” to refill my glass; the panic that we might go for lunch to somewhere that doesn’t serve alcohol. And I never want to feel that hunger again

Morning all.

Feeling somewhat human again.

Thank you all for the kind words and hugs. So much appreciated x

Thank you so much for your reply @Kipperandarthur , you are so right that alcohol is my enemy, and has been for a long time.

I have had counselling on and off over the years and have to say that I mostly didn’t find it helpful. With one exception way back in 2006 when I saw a lovely CPN called Michelle. I saw her for around nine months and then Mr Gunnel got his posting order to the US, so had to stop seeing her.

The worst therapist I had was the one who shamed me for my suicidal thoughts (that was up in Scotland, eight years ago).
I told him I was spiralling and felt like ending things and he looked at me sternly and said ‘Think about your husband, could you reslly do that to him?’

That wasn’t helpful and about a week later I tried to take my life.

I just have to not drink for now, I think that’s only way forward.

@Conteffi 🌺

Hope you have a good Sunday @WendyWagon .

Thanks for the hugs @Onewildandpreciouslife .

You are so right; how often have I wished I could open a bottle of wine, have a glass or two and put the bottle back in the fridge. And after every spell of sobriety I told myself thst things would be different this time round, my tolerance level had changed and I’d be able to moderate.

It’s all lies.

I think you’re right when you say that once we cross that line there’s no going back. I’ll never be able to have just a couple, I will always want more.

Thanks for the new thread. I have a feeling I’m going to spend a lot if time on there in the near future.

Enjoy your run @needastrongone .

We need one more post to close the thread my friends. He's Mr Tiggle showing his royals.

Apologies for the couple days' silence - I've been nursing a virus and Sid's had a jippy tummy. Mending now though. Thanks for the new thread @Onewildandpreciouslife . Sorry about your house @WendyWagon xx