Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

Thank you, I am feeling awful today, really groggy, achey and weak, not sure if I am coming down with something.

Day 13 and feeling a bit strange, I got through the Wedding ok but am having cravings today, a random Friday. I will not drink, I know it is only days but I have come this far and will not go back to day 1. I have too much to loose. I will sit with the feeling and I know it will pass.

Alcohol is not our friend @pinkclouds26 , it ultimately just wants to keep us addicted.

You’re doing so well and you’ll have another weekend under your belt of being productive, clear headed and present - I know which I prefer!

@Itsafinebalance thanks for the encouragement, I got out for a walk and I am feeling a lot better. It is a funny journey and so interesting to see how I can go from being so positive to feeling low, I am determined to stick at it though!

Hope everyone is doing good, it will feel great to wake up on Saturday and Sunday nice and fresh!

@Itsafinebalance k like that saying, productive, clear headed and present.

@pinkclouds26 stick in there - you’ve done so well this week. For me, it seems like a random Friday but it’s not really - if I’m honest it’s very Friday and looking forwards to that G&t. Especially on a bank holiday weekend. I’ve got a mojito waiting in the fridge for later tonight but it’s not easy!

Hello all. I slipped up I’m afraid. Disappointed in myself, and sorry to lose the streak I was working on. But it has cemented why I need to give up. I’ve started Quit Like A Woman on audiobook. Reading actual book of The Unexpected Joy. Got Jason Vale to read too.
I don’t have a magic wand to sort this problem out. I guess I just educate myself and keep on trucking.

Good on you for coming back to the thread @Poopgoestheweasel , slip ups are part for the course, and its a learning thing. You've got this. Alcohol is a sneaky f*cker. Hugs xx

You owned your slip, @Poopgoestheweasel , which is a brave thing to do, and you're moving forward from it. Good on you - you've got people here cheering you on.

I've been hanging by a thread the last couple of days. But I've got a full week sober and that's a start.

Day 21!
Just wanted to note down some things I've noticed over the last 3 weeks..

ON THE NIGHT:

• I'm more present in the moment

• time slows down, none of that "where did the last 4 hours go"!

• actively listening to the people around me and having a decent conversation

• not going for a wee every 5 mins!

• remembering EVERYTHING!

• being able to leave when I've had enough and not being persuaded into having that "just one more"

• being in control

GENERALLY

• quality of sleep - I keep waking up at 5 am feeling fully rested!

• not taken one pain killer for anything!

• healthy eating has been consistent, not one pot noodle in sight!

• mood is level, no hangsiety or beer fear

• no brain fog, better concentration and more patience

Tomorrow is going to be a test. It's husbands birthday AND a bank holiday weekend! Usually the perfect recipe for a nice big binge! I've bought myself some AF beers and really looking forward to NOT wasting Monday!

@Poopgoestheweasel well done for coming back on and sticking with it. At the moment I’m not thinking I’ll never have a drink again. You had a slip up, that’s all. Be kind to yourself today x

@MindBodySoul that’s a great list. Have to try and remind myself of those things when the urge hits!

Wr have family over today and I’d normally drink a bottle of wine and then have quite the pig out when they’ve all left as a treat for cooking etc. Am going to get in some sparkling water today and remember I don’t want to spoil how I feel tomorrow.

Thanks guys! I was debating coming back, wasn’t sure if I belonged here. But I appreciate your words. And love the list @MindBodySoul. All resonates.

Of course you belong @Poopgoestheweasel !

The thread didn't get it's title for nothing!

We've all been there, more than once! Don't be hard on yourself 💪🏼

@Poopgoestheweasel you definitely belong here! Well done on getting back to it, it can be so easy to slip and keep sliding, it takes so much strength to admit you had a blip and get straight back to it. I hace not managed to do it any time I have slipped so I would count it as a positive learning step for you. None of us are perfect. I still think I wouldn't have made it this far without this thread so everyone keep posting whether it is positive, negative, the highs and lows, no doubt we can all relate and support each other xx

Today is the first day I woke not feeling groggy, I hope I am coming out the other side, although I do think I may have had some sort of virus.

Glad to be fresh on a Saturday morning and able to hop in the car and do the foodshop without having to count the hours since last drink.

Well done everyone and for the weekend that is in it, it will be another first under our belts.

Day 2. Whilst doing nothing criminal, I’m banned seeing Goddaughter since I turned up to wish her good luck at new school - I was drunk. So so so ashamed.

@alldressedupinblue, let it go, it’s done, you’re certainly not the only one to feel ashamed after a night of excess, and now is the time to focus on remaining sober, getting well and forgiving yourself. We’re all in the same boat and here for support.

@Poopgoestheweasel, so pleased that you’re still here! This whole last month I kept promising myself I wouldn’t drink, then get to my usual 6 days and opened a bottle, but the important thing is to never give up trying, just hop back on.

Another night down and woke at 5am refreshed and out for a run at 6 - so much nicer running without a hangover 😁 I’m having a lovely chilled day now, watching old Nigella episodes on YouTube and even going to make a veggie cottage pie as it’s so autumn like out there.

@ItsafinebalanceThank you. Are you looking forward to Nigella on Bakeoff?

I stopped watching Bake Off a couple of years ago after getting a bit bored with it. I’m also not a huge fan of Alison Hammond, but come September, I’ll definitely be watching—no pressure, Nigella!

What an awful nights sleep. Stupid husband went out for beers with his friends so snored all night. I have a sore shoulder and neck so that doesn’t help, and kept waking up thirsty and needing a wee!
Its bank holiday here but a bit rainy, which is good for not drinking as no threats of barbecues and parties! I’m quite happy not to drink anyway, no desire to. Looking forward to reading in bed tonight with a cup of tea.

Nobody ever feels good coming off it

Easily done, in a awhile no one will remember ive done it at relatives wedding, never did see the start of the evening. Only just manages the ceremony

@Poopgoestheweasel I hear you with the sleep! I slept a bit better the past couple of nights so I am hoping I am coming out the other side.

Day 15 my sister is on honeymoon so was sending the groupchat lots of lovely cocktail pics and definitely had a bit of a sad moment and realisation that my next holiday will be very different, but then pulled myself together and was thankful I am making the changes and got this far.

I haven't told family ans friends yet, I dont think they know the extent of my drinking, maybe they do, but the last time I said I was being healthy, I did the same at the wedding and they didn't question it.

It is a pity there is still such a stigma around it. Tbh most of my family have a poor relationship with alcohol and some are a lot worse, which actually made me feel like my drinking was ok for a long time. I realise now how warped and wrong that view was. It is amazing how the mind will twist and turn things to make excuses to continue drinking. One family member in particular we are all extremelyconcerned about and in the end they have actually played a big part in my journey as I genuinely think they may not be alive in the near future.

Hypocritically I have tried to speak to this person and get them to get help, but if anyone knows its you all here, you cannot force someone to get sober and the person in question can be quiet nasty in general let alone after a drink so we tend to leave them be.

Sorry for my ramblings, I definitely need to invest in a diary! I hope everyone has a lovely fresh Sunday morning xx

@Beachlover1993 Thank you - I can actually feel my cheeks burning in shame.

@pinkclouds26 when we were in a posh bar last weekend where I’d usually have a fancy cocktail I had a fancy mocktail instead. If off the booze I used to think they were expensive and have a Diet Coke instead. But I really enjoyed the mocktail and it made the drink really special. I’m trying to look for more options like this.

im two weeks in today and woke up raring to go and full of beans. Haven’t felt like this in ages. Didn’t drink at the family meal last night and I think I was a much better parent last night and this morning as a result.

Just take small steps it will take years, just remember what you are attempting is for you and your family also, good luck

@WhitegreeNcandle it feels great getting through a tough event doesn't it, I think I will try a mocktail next time I am out with the family, I did get sick of coke after a while, there is only so much of that I can drink but I liked to keep something in my hand.

@alldressedupinblue give yourself a bit of grace if you can xx you are here and trying to get yourself on track again and that counts for a lot

I’m ashamed to say I slipped up. Feel rubbish today and have so much stuff I need to do but which is not getting done today, and that is making me feel even more rubbish.

I hate this. I feel so overwhelmed with everything in life at the minute and I literally want everyone to leave me alone and to have a few weeks by myself where I can just stay in bed all day and watch tv and not have to make packed lunches and grocery shopping and prepare dinners and be a taxi driver and go to work and do everyone’s laundry and just to be able to forget about all of it for a while.

Feeling pretty sorry for myself. Going to get an early night to bed tonight and hope that things seem a bit better tomorrow.