Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

Funnily enough I quit smoking years ago after reading the Allen Carr book! I have had the odd one in a night out but to be honest they make me feel so sick I thankfully left it at that.

I had the best night sleep so far last night, woke exhausted again but at day 10 feel slightly better.

I know I will not drink today, very busy with Wedding prep for my Sister tomorrow and I am determined to renain alcohol free at the Wedding itself too.

I just checked my try dry app, my biggest recorded stint at being alcohol free this year is 11 days, so 12 days is my next mini goal!

Love how positive and motivated you sound @pinkclouds26 and I’m sure that positivity will help you get through your sisters wedding AF.

Still feeling hit like I’ve been hit by a bus this morning 😄 my sleep is so broken at the moment and I wake up feeling like I’ve done 10 rounds in the ring! But my mood is definitely better today and I know that if I can hang on in, there are so many positive gains to be had! 💪

Hi gang, this post popped up on my active threads and although I'm not the target audience, I thought I would just share a little story, regarding my experiences as a child of someone who I think is in a similar place to you guys.

I apologise if this is insensitive or triggering for anyone, but I really hope it serves as some motivation and doesn't make anyone feel bad - if it does, please let me know and I can ask MNHQ to delete it!

I am in my 30s now, I knew my dad enjoyed a drink, probably more than he should, throughout my childhood but I don't know that I realised the extent until I was older - I can remember exDH telling me my dad was always pissed and saying "no he's not, that's just his personality" because I didn't know any different. He was the sole breadwinner, holding down a job, functioning 'fine' as far as a I could tell, although like a PP mentioned there were times I could tell he was extra drunk and I didn't particularly like it or who he became, although he was never angry or abusive, just would stop listening etc.

Until he had a health scare and stopped drinking and I met my sober dad, in my 30s. He is a different person, and much more present. He is an absolutely incredible grandfather, far better than he was a Dad to me, and I'm so glad my kids can have that relationship with him that I didn't get.

He still drinks "in moderation" on high days and holidays, although I've noticed over time the threshold for a special occasion is decreasing, and the quantity that he is drinking on these occasions is creeping up, and it means he's remembering less of the important things going on in my life that he had been able to remember when he drank less.

I wish he had done this when I was younger. I mean this as motivation for any of you with kids, not to feel guilty that you didn't start earlier. Do it now and stick to it. Even if you think your kids are too young to be actively aware of your drinking, I promise they aren't too young to notice and benefit from having a happier, healthier, more present parent 🩷

You are all amazing for even trying, even if it takes 150 Day 1s, they will see you trying and be grateful that you are. Kids don't tend to tell parents that they're proud of them, because it's not cool, but I promise you that they are, and I'm here to tell you for them 😘

Thanks @HydenSeek - not insensitive at all and always good to read how drinking affects those around us, especially loved ones.

That is not insensitive at all, I noticed one of my DC is not comfortable and it is a major driver for me. As much as I have compassion and understanding for myself and everyone else here, there is no denying that our drinking has caused issues and affected others, sometimes a reminder as painful as it might be is helping to keep us on track xx

posted twice in error

Just checking in to clock another day!

Another day here too. I don’t think it’s insensitive I think it’s thought provoking. I know deep down I’m a much better parent when I haven’t had a bottle of wine. One glass - fine, more than two and I’m sure the kids know as I start opting out of things in favour of more wine or crisps!

is it the wedding today @pinkclouds26?

It is today, day 11 here for me, I have no doubt it won't be easy but I feel good. I am happy in my decision and I am looking forward to spending the day with my children, family and Friends and waking with no anxiety!

Good luck and stay strong! Let us know how you get on

Happy in my decision too, and I’ve realised that I need to focus much more on the benefits of an alcohol free life and, who I want to be going forward without using alcohol as a crutch.

I know it’s not going to be easy, but I also know that it is possible. On to a new day…

just a quick check in, the ceremony and pictures are over, I just want to document how I feel, I knew I didn't want to drink and wouldn't but the craving/sense of loss was there a couple of times when the prosecco was flowing, but honestly the moment passed and I really enjoyed the morning.

I plan to check in when I am tucked up in my new pjs in my hotel room tonight, I will be so proud to have this under my belt. Well done everyone, we are building up the days 👏

Well done @pinkclouds26 you did it!

I think we all recognise that feeling of loss at times, but there are so many good things to gain!

Well done PinkClouds!

Day 5, still plodding on. Urgh.

Hang on in there @HappyAsAGrig . Plodding is good and you’ll soon have a week under your belt!

I am at an honest week now, feeling very good and chuffed. @pinkclouds26 I'm so glad the wedding is going well, the photos will be better as well!

I came here to look for help too, I was 1 year 5 months sober until yesterday, literally no reason to drink but I did. Husband is now talking divorce. I hate myself.

@pinkclouds26 how did the evening bit go?

@alldressedupinblue was there any sort of reason at all that you drank? How did yesterday go? That’s quite a leap for your husband to make.

Hi everyone I stopped drinking in 2009. I was someone who couldn't control my drinking. It was really stressful for me going out back then because I didn't know how drunk I would get / if I would make a fool of myself / if I would end the evening drinking through the night alone at home. I would feel so shameful and sad. When I gave up I went to AA for 3-4 months and the stories I heard were heartbreaking. There was a lot about wasting life and life not moving forwards when you are drinking so much. Something clicked during those many meetings at AA and I knew I could never ever drink again. And I haven't. Occasionally (maybe once a year?) I have a craving for a glass of wine but almost instantly my brain goes to how I was when I was drinking and how bad we were together. So I don't do it. Just wanted to share what got me there in the end xx
PPS sometimes I miss having more of a social life and I miss a lot of the fun times but the bad times didn't outweigh the good.
Ps shopping addiction is a completely different matter! Lols. A girl has to have some fun....

Thank you @QueenofSouthsea, brilliant post and one that really resonates for me. I am a messy drunk and drink with the sole purpose to get drunk and have no hope of moderating once I open that bottle. Although I don’t drink every day, I have to use iron willpower not to and it’s exhausting - So your post is very inspirational!

Thank you that's so sweet, I'm glad it helped someone. It took me many many attempts at giving up before I did. The only way i can explain it is that I was getting more and more into alcoholism and it felt as though I was at the top of a rollercoaster, the rollercoaster was moving very slowly, I knew that the only way from then on was going to be going down very low / very fast and I had to get off the rollercoaster before it was too late x

@QueenofSouthsea thanks for posting that, the positive stories really help me see that it is possible and we can all get there.

@alldressedupinblue I am so sorry to hear that, but you are here now, one day doesn't undo all your hard work and all you have learned. What you do next is important and you have decided to join us. Do you want to talk about it?

So sorry I didn't pop on last night, my eyes were closing taking off my makeup, yes I took it off, how embarrassing that I never really did when drinking!

I didn't drink and I honestly didn't miss it, I danced, chatted, had a brilliant night sleep and now up for breakfast feeling great. Thank you everyone for the support so far, this thread has been a gamechanger xx

Day 5 was hard - family having cocktails around me. Still, that's another one under my belt.

Hi Team, I am still going, and feeling better every day, still groggy on waking but don't you just love waking and your first thought is "yay, I didn't drink last night"? Ive been for a few walks and next week In going to get back to going to the gym. I really enjoy that but it's a time sacrifice a bit, working a 40 hour week and the squeezing gym in is tricky with mumming and so on, but I do love the feeling after I've done a work out. Plus summer is coming in Aus, and it's either drop a few wine kilos or re-purchase an entire wardrobe! Busy month coming up and it's going to be so much better and easier without wine in it!
@alldressedupinblue welcome. I'm sorry to hear husband has said that. How are you going?
@pinkclouds26 well done aand I'm so glad you enjoyed the wedding sober!

Plus summer is coming in Aus, and it's either drop a few wine kilos or re-purchase an entire wardrobe! @Manyanamanyana that’s enough motivation in itself!

I’m pleased to say that the puffiness around my eyes is decreasing and my skin is looking brighter, plus not feeling quite so whacked this morning, so onwards and upwards!