On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Has anyone gone from daily problem drinking, blackouts and worse binging on nights out to being able to properly moderate?

I keep thinking I will be able to have a few every now and then but each time I stay off alcohol and go back, I end up back at square one.

Has anyone been genuinely successful and have any tips? Thank you.

@CrybabyDrybaby

I think it's rare to non existent to go from such heavy drinking to moderation. I don't know anyone who has. I do know a few people who went sober quite successfully over the long term.

I speak as someone who would drink every day but not to super excess on a daily basis. I can find myself at square 1 quite depressingly quickly and found the state of eternal vigilance that moderation required, itself quite draining. I have an easier time overall being sober sober, than trying to moderate.

I think anyone with a bit of a booze habit is maybe hoping there's a way out that isn't just plain old sobriety, I know I did. For me I don't know that there is. It took a while to come to terms with that.

Full disclosure I'm drinking a bit at the moment, but I'm not thrilled with myself about that!

I'm sorry might not have answered the question very well but that's what I can say.

@BezMills thank you, I think I already knew the answer. I am starting out again and had hoped by Christmas I might be able to have a night or 2 out but it is more wishful thinking on my part.

I have tried to moderate a few times unsuccessfully, but I hoped maybe there was something I was missing.

@CrybabyDrybaby I started my sober journey a couple of years ago. It has taken me this long to get to a point where long spells of sobriety are now relatively easy. Reflecting on things, I would encourage you to download the apps, read the books, listen to the podcasts etc as they all help. Also, and I know these are all clichés...

1. Progress over perfection. Gradually reduce the amount you drink. Tracking apps help.
2. Need behind behaviour. Ask yourself why you are drinking. Try to find healthier habits and activities to replace the drinking.
3. Habit beats motivation. It took me a year or so to stop going to the alcohol aisle in the supermarket and drooling. I don't go near it now and don't even think about it.
4. Be kind to yourself.

For most of us on this thread, if not all, it's taken decades to get to this point, so it'll take a long while to get to a healthier place.

Hope that helps and doesn't come across as patronising!

It doesn't come across as patronising at all, it is actually very helpful, thank you. I needed to hear it, I was looking for a quick fix and the easy way out as usual. I think for now I need to focus on remaining fully sober, I do appreciate the advice.