On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@Elleoeez That's it! Remember the feeling that being AF brings. Feel SO good today. THAT is what I need to remember. 🙏

that all sounds familiar @Nowstrong

I've stopped counting but it's a few weeks now. I had a similar process and decided to reset (again). I feel pretty good about it. Occasionally tempted, but it's getting a bit easier. Still have to be careful though and I am!

Morning all! Yesterday evening I was invited to friends for dinner. Had a few drinks (wasn't driving) had a lovely evening, got in at past midnight (shock horror), had an awful night's sleep, forgot to turn my alarm clock off, went back to sleep, feel a lot less brilliant than yesterday. Lesson really learnt, but will I remember it?
This evening is "fête de la musique" in my little town. So, of course, I will be going. My new mantra : stick to non alcoholic drinks.
Will report back tomorrow morning. Hopefully feeling great (and proud).
Hope you all have a beautiful day. Weather here is brilliant. Swimming pool this afternoon...

@Nowstrong I think you just add it all up, bad head and all, and if it's a net plus (probably yes) then fine. I think for me, the big issue is if it gets me on the slippery slope. I'm still steering clear. Last year this time I was almost 6 months sober sober and had my first drink on 29th June just after my 50th.

This year I don't know. I kind of don't wanna (but might have a cheeky vino with my birthday dinner, let's not rule it out completely!)

I was properly tempted yesterday. I'd had a crap couple of days, not sure exactly why, sometimes it just do be like that! I could have murdered a drink, but managed to stay out of danger, which I'm really glad about.

Morning all! @BezMills I failed miserably. Managed to keep the drinking down (didn't do so well with the nibbling though). Didn't go mad. Didn't wake up this morning feeling so damn awful. But perhaps it's because my body is getting used to all this drinking. MUST stop. Full stop. This evening I have non drinking guests. I'm making a nice (hopefully) home made ice tea. No wine in the place. So sticking to that. They don't drink so I won't be tempted. When I'm alone I'm OK. It's socially that fails me. Or that is what I think. Will update when I'm a few days dry.
Must stay strong and motivated. I CAN do this. Done it before. Can do it again.
Hits head against wall. Off to do guilt ridden exercises to burn it all off.
Hope you all have a great day. Let's stay strong together. 💪

@Nowstrong

it's all quite familiar. I find the transition from 'drinking sometimes or too often or all the time' (kind of the same thing or rather one soon leads to the other to the other) rather difficult. Being sober sober is fine, once I actually switch the switch. It just can take ages to go "sod it, it's happening NOW".

The twilight zones of "keeping a lid on it" or "just about to start stopping" are the hardest bits for me, and cause no end of angst.

Hopefully tonight is calm and some sober socialising is probably exactly what you need.

Morning all. Did it! So pleased with myself. I know that I can keep going now. Fingers all crossed. Beautiful day here. Have a morning swim scheduled with friends at 10:00 (opening time of pool). Bbq tonight but will be prepared with homemade ice tea. I can do this is my new mantra (I definitively do go through a lot of mantras 😂).
Hope everyone enjoys their day. Beautiful sunshine here. Another scorcher apparently.

Stay strong. And sober. X

I’ve enjoyed reading all the updates and thank you for replying and supporting me. Out of a potential 66 days (since starting) I’ve have 64 days AF. On the two occasions I drank wine I felt awful the next day. I had two glasses on the first occasion and threw the second. First time I had a headache the next day and second time was sick (oh dear). Don’t think it’s agreeing with me post op. I’ll be five weeks post roar knee replacement on Monday. On both occasions I was catching up with a good friend - who also likes a drink.

Lesson learned that I’m not coping with alcohol atm. I’m now off synthetic narcotics but was still on diclofenac and Lansoprazole when I drank - so that may be it. Now just on paracetamol and voltarol gel. I’ve adjusted my drink free days to 6 days a week so I don’t feel so guilty if I slip up! Psychological I know. The good news is I’m doing so much better than been a daily drinker, which I was before my op.

Not sure what to do next, not planning to actually buy alcohol for home use. Another whole level of challenge when going out or entertaining friends starts again!

Should say three - not threw!

well done @Nowstrong and @letshavetea

We had unexpected child free as DD was invited to a sleepover at the last minute. Fancied a curry and went to a place that it BYOB. I decided it was time for some vino, so we got some rather naice portuguese red from M&S. That went down rather well, then we went to the local and I had 4 more drinks! Yeah head wasn't too clever when I woke up on Sunday but a dawnie dip then a second one at 9am with the regulars sorted that out. Last night again child free as the sleepover extended until late evening, so had a few drinkies with dinner at the restaurant. I know I know, two days on the bounce, eeesh.

Mixed emotions really. I'm not really sorry I did it (will revisit this assessment if I have any wobbles in the next days and weeks). I'm happy to call it a one-off and leave it at that, as long as I can put the booze goblin back in his crate and he doesn't cause me any bother this week. On the other hand, I was definitely playing with fire (bad) and also blew up a sober streak of some weeks (less bad but still a thing)

Morning all! Another sober day. Or especially evening . Can easily manage in the daytime. I’ve found that the solution is « be prepared ». Made 2 thermos flasks of ice tea, which ended up being a good idea. Was invited to a BBQ, no soft drinks (only adults). Drank all of my ice tea. Slept well (was very hydrated) but did frequent trips to the loo, fell asleep quickly each time.

Benefits of going to bed sober : put stuff away before going to bed. Wake up without a dried up mouth cos I sleep with my mouth open and snore when I have a few drinks. Feel so much more refreshed in the morning.
@BezMillsi daredn’t go on that slippery road for the moment. Much too early on my sobering up trip. But well done if you enjoyed it and can control any urges.

@letshavetea well done on your 64 AF days! I wonder why I slip back into bad habits because being sober is so much better. I also feel dreadful the day after. Plus the guilt.

This evening it’s my one of my DGDs birthday dinner . Will take my card and gift and my thermos of ice tea, to share if necessary. My DD always provides too much wine and has a tendency to drink too much too. But that is another story. Most probably a genetic wiring problem. We do discuss it. She knows I’m going AF again. No judgement there.

Wishing you all a beautiful day. Sending strong and positive vibes to all.

Lovely to read people's positive updates.
My 3 weeks ended Sunday. I hosted a big dinner and just enjoyed drinks with the meal. Then yesterday I didn't drink even though I'm "allowed" to which I'm happy with. At some points during my 3 week stint I felt proper craving and caved 3 times for a dram which feels like I'm writing about someone else, I didn't realise my self control was so poor.
Also if I'm honest I avoided social things during those 3 weeks because I have no experience not drinking at parties and dinners and all! I'm reading your tactics with interest #Nowstrong. Maybe I need to get into iced tea!!

Quick update ! Still AF! Downing that ice tea…. Big social event this evening. But I’m pretty determined. Will report back tomorrow. All fingers crossed. Stay strong (that’s mainly for me 😂). Enjoy the sunny weather !

was mildly tempted to have one after training last night but didn't. The days after are very dangerous in my experience so glad to have that one done.

Well done @SundayBangor keep on keeping on

Morning all!
Well done to @BezMillsand @letshavetea, also encouraging @SundayBangor . Social events are sooo dangerous for me. Last night I remained AF, but then again it was SO hot that everyone was downing the water (and ice tea) to stay hydrated and hardly touched any of the wine, or the food, no end of left overs. So a big win win for me. No more tricky socials for me for the next month.

My sibling is coming to visit me in August and that is always complicated, because as much as I love her, it's always, well, complicated... will sort that out in August.
Still extremely hot today. Yesterday was nearly in the 40s... that ice tea will be a life saver.
Sugar free ice tea of course, having enough problems with my curves too.
Have a great day. Stay cool. Hydrated and strong.

Morning all! Thought I’d do a small update. Today is AF day 10. Feeling very pleased. Sleep still not quite there yet, but perhaps heatwave is a part of the problem too. Weight not exactly dropping off me, but I’m persevering with exercise and small meals (heatwave definitely helping here).
Hope that you are all doing well and staying strong. x

Morning all. I have been reading all your updates and cheering you on from behind my screen.

All good here. Finding moderating this month after a completely Dry May a lot easier. Enjoying some wine here and there but being Very Sensible and can justify each time (it's important to me that I am drinking consciously and mindfully, and enjoying it). Still tracking, and the Try Dry app has awarded me badges for moderating well.

Keep going everyone, small changes all add up over time.

day one for me - drank 1.5 bottles last night

I think I have reached a tipping point where my hangovers mean excessive drinking is no longer worth it. Probably had around 1.5 bottles on Saturday (over about 6 hours) and boy, Sunday was a write off. I think my days of a big night out with associated drinking may be behind me. Which feels like a middle aged milestone!

I have a works thing on 24th July but am probably going to stay dry until then. Partly to see if I can but also partly because I feel like I need to sit with the revelation of my likely primary sobriety going forward for a while...

Totally with you on this one. Think I reached that point a couple of years ago, but it's taken this long to come to terms with it! Guess we wouldn't be on this thread if we didn't love our boozy nights hey?

I had a few drinks on Weds and felt it yesterday. No regrets though as it was all planned, and I had yesterday off as finished one job and starting new one on Monday. I can definitely zoom out now and see how I am when drinking. I think partly because of my ADHD wine makes me more energetic and hyper and even more happy and excited. So it's no surprise that after being so high, I'll feel ultra low for a few days after. That on top of seriously impaired cognitive function yesterday, alongside all the physical symptoms, it just makes drinking excessively regularly a very stupid idea. I'm glad I can moderate these days. Have a friend's 40th on the weekend and planning on having two glasses of wine/prosecco and that's it. The hangover yesterday is too fresh for me to go mad again just yet.

Still, have to focus on the positives. Onwards and upwards!

Morning all! Still following the thread and still AF. Feeling a bit holier than thou at the moment 😉. Tomorrow off on holiday with one daughter and 2 DGC. So should be easy to maintain being AF. Might need to detox from italien ice-cream though...
Hope you all have a great weekend and lovely week. Will report back in about 10 days' time. Hopefully still AF. All fingers crossed... Stay strong!!!

I had far too much to drink last night 😔
Been awake ages & just feeling absolutely ashamed. Haven't done anything awful, just too much alcohol & memory loss. But aware enough to know Haven't done anything daft.
I HATE feeling like this! WHY WHY WHY do I do it.
Its a good idea at the time, but honestly these days following are horrendous.
I think I need to just stop. As seemingly moderation does not work for me.
Waiting on my husband getting up & I could cry I feel so rubbish 😔 I don't know whether he will judge me or not, but I'm judging myself.
Sorry all, just need to get this down somewhere to maybe try stop me being in this situation again. 😔

@ERN79 it's just the alcohol leading to anxiety - try and take it easy today, eat well, hydrate and have an early night. We've all been there! Look into some AF options for this weekend so you can feel back in control.

@harriethoyleI know. I just do not learn though. Somethings gotta give, ya know.
I can't keep on with this bloody cycle. 🤦‍♀️
Husband was absolutely fine too, we had a bit of a heart to heart.
I admitted I feel ashamed which is big for me, as usually I just keep it all to myself.
Feel so ridiculously anxious. Yet I know it will pass.
Meh!

I got there almost 2 weeks ago @ERN79 Haven't drunk since! It was just a bit of a tipping point for me. I felt so bad because of my hangover, for SO long and something just clicked that it's not worth it... I am resigned now to sobriety as my default and probably only drinking with food, rather than standalone drinking IYKWIM. The AF fizz I have found has helped - just wish there were better AF alternatives when out and about!