On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Morning all.
Well I am still quite antsy today. Actually wondering if I can put all this down to the excesses of Tuesday, or whether theres something else subconsciously bothering me.
Really do not want to attend the gathering this afternoon, so am going to do my best to get out of it.
My mental health is in no fit state for it at the moment!
Hope everyone else has had a better week!

Well, I'm not long back from driving to the gathering just to show my face. It was for a friend who's moving away so I felt awful about not showing up at all.
Drove there, stayed 40mins or so & have come home.
Nobody said anything - yay! So I think thats helped the anxiety over Tuesdays drinking.
A few people were rather drunk & I'm so glad I wasn't one of them. 🙂
Anyway, just thought I'd update you all.
Thank you for getting me through the past few days.

Good job @ERN79 - glad you’re feeling over the worst. We went to an afternoon party today and I drove. Was actually a really pleasant afternoon but I really notice my fatigue levels when I’m sober in a way I don’t when I’m drunk! Already feeling smug about tomorrow’s lack of hangover 🤣

@harriethoyleyes me too! I'll probably still be tired tomorrow but at least reasonably fresh! 🤣
Glad you had a lovely afternoon.
Think I am over the worst. Thankfully 🤦‍♀️
Just need to remember the feeling & not do it again!

Morning! Currently walking to my village shop for sausages & bacon to make breakfast. 🙂
Feeling very smug with no bad head, unlike i suspect the rest of them from last night. Messages in the group chat at almost 2am about neighbours complaining about noise 🤦‍♀️ Not good!
So pleased I wasn't involved 🙂

Well done @ERN79 ! I think you're on the start of a journey here with these friends to be honest. When you step outside of the circle and observe (sober), you might start to notice things and check in with how you feel and how those experiences align, or not, to your core values. That's certainly what I did three years ago and haven't seen what I thought were three very good, very long standing, friends since. There was a big fall out and I stepped away. All of our plans and interactions over the previous few years involved alcohol, and I was tired and weary of it.

I hope you and @harriethoyle bask in the glory of the No Hangover Sunday (esp on a hot and sunny weekend!). I will be nursing a fairly big hangover after drinking and dancing the night away at my friend's 40th birthday party...! Just about to log all the drinks in my apps but NOT feel bad about it.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

@ForeverTipsy I’ve been out with the dog, done a whizz round the supermarket and visited my dad at his care home already this morning. I’m UNBEARABLY smug this morning 🤣

@ForeverTipsyI don't know how things will go with these friends tbh, I'm just glad I wasn't drinking last night & and have no hangover this morning.
They drink a lot regularly, in fact a couple of them I'd say drink a fair amount daily. My habits have never been like that, I'm your typical binger. Nothing for weeks then a Friday night blowout. Anyway, thats maybe a bit irrelevant 🤦‍♀️
Felt quite uncomfortable with them being drunk when I wasn't, but that could be more about my current mental state & anxiety this week.
Anyway, today's another day! And I know I'll be feeling better tham long they will!

@harriethoyleGo you! 🤣 You revel in the smugness! Its a nice feeling isn't it! 🙂

Morning all! Keep up the good work @ERN79 and @harriethoyle smugness and all.

Been on holiday with DD and DGC and was very good. AF for the whole week. Came back and had 2 glasses of rosé with another DD and yesterday evening 2 glasses of rosé with family for a birthday celebration. So I am pleased that I managed to keep to 2 glasses each time and not let myself slip back into bad habits. I'm now going to go AF for at least a month. I'm even enjoying it. How bad is that???

Sleep wise I'm getting there. Less night wakings and better quality of sleep. So I want to stay AF for as long as possible. Just need the motivation.

Weight wise not going so well. Being extremely good. No nibbling. No wine except for the 4 above-mentioned glasses. Lots of vegetables and protein, mainly fish. And will the scales budge? Nope. Been swimming daily, lots of walking and stairs. Hoping a whole lot will literally fall off me all of a sudden. Wishful thinking.

Anyway, will try to keep up the with the effort. Not always easy to find the motivation.

Sending positive vibes to all. Stay strong and sober. Take care x

Hi, I posted this on the total abstain thread but think I’m better suited over here if you don’t mind as it’s very early days.
I would like to join to have some accountability. I’m so tired of being sick and tired due to alcohol. I’m in my early 60s and have been drinking since I was 16. I drink approximately 4 bottles of wine a week. I drink most nights. I often drink to excess. A few years ago I was AF for 3 months but went back to it. I’m greedy around alcohol but not food. In fact I watch what I eat. I’m fed up of the wasted days due to hangovers and not wanting to get up or exercise. I’m worried about the effects alcohol might be having on my health. I want to live a healthy life and to see my grandchildren grow up. I’m day 3 AF after a heavy night on Sat. I’ve bought a lot of soft drinks as alternatives. I’m feeling fairly positive so I’ll take each day as it comes and try my best!!

Welcome @Grandmashorty - there's lots of wisdom and support here. I find decent non-alcoholic alternatives really help. I like Tanquery zero, Freixinet 0% and Kylie AF wine - and most AF lager is pretty decent now too. I much prefer that to soft drinks.

I am now 18 days into a period of AF and I feel like I have really got out of the habit of drinking at home "just because" which is huge.

I've also lost 5lbs without doing ANYTHING different but stop weekend drinking. Which is a revelation. My sleep is starting to improve and I like waking up feeling fresh rather than exhausted and headachey.

It's my anniversary on Friday. We might split a bottle of fizz but it will only be the one and then I will AF again until a planned function on 24th July.

I'm starting to feel like this is a nice pattern to have long-term although I am aware I am in the very early stages so am not taking anything for granted just yet.

Thanks @harriethoyle I’m day 4 AF. Have slept well and enjoying AF alternative drinks. Watching the match without alcohol - was sloshed after the last 2 games! Still feeling positive. Have woken up feeling so much better and been to the gym. Still early days of course!

Joining again. I was largely AF for almost three months with just the odd glass of wine here and there and then on Wednesday night I went totally overboard and hurt a good friend with my behaviour. Taking a deep breath and starting over. And giving her the space she requested. I just don't know why I do it. I'm so ashamed and angry with myself.

Sorry to hear that @Liverpool52 - is the damage repairable? What’s your plan about booze going forward? Your friend might feel more forgiving if you take accountability for your drinking and explain you’re resolved to cutting down…

I had three glasses of wine last night after three weeks dry and boy did I feel it! Back on the AF today and am going to aim for AF to be my home default if that makes sense and offer to be the designated driver whenever required.

@harriethoylemy plan is to go back to before. I can't believe I broke so badly. She has asked for space so I have to respect that and apart from communicating how sorry I was and withdrawing from a social function the day after, I won't make contact unless she does.

Hey all. Hope everyone is well.
I drank last night, I went to a friend's bbq with my husband. We had a nice evening. I probably had a couple more than I should have really... but no embarrassments or anything. Slight anxiety today, but not that all consuming type like previously. Knackered, as per! But thats par for the course these days.
Different group of friends to the usual one & I think that helps. Its not the same mentality.
I've a night out on Friday, a meal & drinks. Then I'm planning a dry August.
I enjoyed my evening last night, but I am feeling today that I wished I'd not had the last few drinks. But hey ho! Can't go back can I.
Anyway, hope you've all enjoyed your Sunday. 🙂

Good idea! Might try that today! 🙂

Hi girls! 👋

Really going to try from today, get back into my exercise once I’m over my hangover! REALLY been going over board with the football being on over last few weeks! ⚽️ Sharing a bottle of vodka with my partner every time there’s been more than a passing interest in a match, it’s a slippery slope and the sauce makes it much slipperier! 🤯 I feel so good when I wake up clear headed, so it’s big girl pants on! Netflix and chill and lots of cups of tea and squash! I know I’ll drink with the Bank holiday at some point but determined to get back on track with ‘no booze’ rule during the working week! Hope you’re all doing well today and setting goals that suit you too 💛

Can I jump in this thread for accountability. Day one for me! I drink about a bottle of wine a night. I just want to be able to come on here tomorrow and say I had a night alcohol free.

Welcome to any newcomers to our thread! Whether you're cutting back a bit, a lot, moderating , tracking or completely abstaining, feel free to use this space for reflection, accountability and support 😊

Morning all!
Just checking in, also just wanting to keep myself accountable.
Food & drinks last night. A lot of wine. But no anxiety this morning. Just very tired, as I cannot sleep past about 6.30am even if I don't get to sleep until 2am 🤦‍♀️
Nice evening with a good friend.
And now looking forward to a dry few weeks at least.
Hope everyone is well!

Can I join please? Day 1 for me.

I’ve been thinking about cutting right back or even giving up alcohol for a while now, my excuse for not doing it has been that much of our social life revolves around drinking.

Our closest friends who we see a lot are really heavy daily drinkers and I justify my own drinking by comparing it to theirs. I’m only having 1 or 2 glasses of wine a night at most, but it’s become almost every night, with binges at the weekend.

We were with those friends last night - yet another night with them where I got home and was sick when I went to bed. How embarrassing! It’s happening too often and needs to stop. There was a bit of a lightbulb moment last night, these friends did something that DH and I were both quite shocked about (it’s too outing to say what). I haven’t made any big announcements, not even to DH, I’m going to try quietly quitting, or at the least a vast reduction. I’ve noticed DH hasn’t had a drink so far tonight either which is extremely unusual for a Saturday night.

We are going on holiday on Monday and while I’m not going to beat myself up if I do have a drink on holiday, I’m thinking I might try just not having any.

Had quite a big weekend, so nothing since Sunday and not going to partake until the bank holiday starts, will try and go easy on Friday as have plans on Saturday eve and Sunday afternoon and eve, important thing for me and other half is to stick to abstaining in the week time so we can get a few workouts in! 🏋️‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️Hope youre all having a nice clear headed week! 💛😊

Afternoon all! Been absent for a while, haven't had time to really read the thread since last time, but welcome to all newcomers.
Been doing pretty well. I'm now absolutely not drinking alone, which is great and have even greatly moderated with company. Sometimes I'll have a drink, sometimes I'll stay AF. My sleep has greatly improved. Doing no end of swimming (daily) and muscle work (daily), no weight loss. It's depressing. I think my body shape has changed slightly, but it's always difficult to see with baggy clothes that I normally hide in. Age is also a factor against me.
Hey ho. I'll stay on this health trip for as long as possible.
Off to a family BBQ, with a drink today, because I can and want to. Will most probably need one (ALL the family will be there 🤐).
Stay strong. Love yourselves. Enjoy Sunday!

I’m back from our break - I had one day where we’d booked a beach club and I had 2 glasses of wine with lunch and a G&T later that afternoon, but apart from that I haven’t had a drink.

I’ve discovered peach iced tea which is delicious, and I worked my way through the mocktail menu whilst we were away. It was actually much easier than I imagined it would be.

DH has vastly reduced his drinking too, he drank in company while we were away but he hasn’t yet drank alone. We’ve both had a sober weekend and we’ve got loads done in the house and garden!