On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Morning all.
Socialised with friends last night, the big drinkers. Couldn't really be bothered but went as I want to keep my weekend free. So got it out of the way so to speak! I did drink, but moderated. So I'm pleased. A little tired this morning, but thats it.
Back to a dry week or 2 again now.
Hope you're all OK 👍

That sounds really positive @ERN79 - good self-control!

I'm still on a much reduced alcohol stint - only three days of drinking since June 28th. I feel so much better, it’s slightly embarrassing 😂 I’ve dropped nearly 4kg, my sleep is better, I’m way more consistent in mood. It’s great. The biggest difference has been cutting out the casual home drinking I think.

Out tomorrow and Friday and I’ve nominated myself the designated driver for both. Long may it continue!

Good going @harriethoyle! You do feel so much better without it don't you.
I really couldn't be bothered to go, so I think that helped! But thought if I went last night when it was literally just 4 of us that it gets me out of going over the weekend when I'm sure it'll be busy & lots of drinking.
I think the others will feel worse than me this morning as I only had a few glasses of fizz, then 1 g&t which I think just kept topping up with tonic. So it looked like I was drinking but in reality I'd stopped by then 🙂
I feel fine, though still a little antsy...in that I'm feeling like why do i feel i need the alcohol at all?
Really need to give myself a break though, as I've done nothing wrong! 🤦‍♀️

I don’t follow this thread. I just need somewhere to post. I don’t know why I drink. There was no reason to drink last night. I almost didn’t. But then did anyway. Do I hate myself? Why do I literally harm myself? And now I’m hungover and a shit version of me. This is pointless and awful.

@PourMeABrosewas there something conscious in that decision? Was it an "ah fuck it I've had a bad day" way of justifying it or was it pure habit? I find when I'm really struggling to not drink there's little voices in my head - it was a bad day or it's almost the weekend or I'll only have one [yeah right] etc and so it's those voices I have to overcome. I often find the easiest way is to just get an early night.

Hey everyone, how's it going? I'm back from a lovely holiday in France. Had a few glasses of wine, but tracked them all and was sensible. Got really bad low mood/mood swings a few days due to PMT, and pretty sure alcohol makes them worse. So wish I didn't enjoy wine! I noticed I drank a lot more in the summer last year, and stopped tracking. So I'm at peace with being a summer boozer, as long as I track as it definitely helps me cut right back (I had more units in July than December !).

I may drink this Sat at a friend's birthday party, but then I'm planning on going Proper Sober til possibly November? I always do Sober October, so figured I'd tack Sept (starting new job properly so need a clear head and not be struggling with even lower mood than necessary) and end of August on. Just counted and that will be a 70 day streak, so quite the challenge. I've done 80 before, and 100, so I know I can do it. Will just have to rid the house of wine first and encourage DH to join me for some of it (not easy as he likes to drink at home).

How's everyone else doing?

Though I’d log a little update. I’m doing pretty well, have completely cut out weekday drinking and have done a few weekends of a much reduced level of drinking. My anxiety has all but disappeared, and I’m sleeping very well. My longest alcohol free ‘streak’ so far has been 10 days and I’ve decided to try a sober September (although I’m already saying I won’t beat myself up if I don’t manage it).

The thing I’m struggling most with, if I’m really honest, is that I’m finding not drinking really boring. So much of mine, and ours as a couple, social life revolves around drinking.

I’m just back from meeting friends at the pub, I had 2 soft drinks and a coffee and after just shy of 2 hours we’ve all caught up on each others news, I physically can’t drink anything else, and I’m ready to go home, so now I’m at home wondering what on earth we all sat around for 4 or 5 hours every Friday night talking about while drinking.

On the plus side rather than grabbing the usual Friday night takeaway I’d pre-prepared some good food, and I have a PT session booked in for 9am tomorrow so I know I’ll feel fresh for that.

I think we all just repeat ourselves in drink @LibraRising so that probably accounts for a couple of hours 😂

I’m having friends over tonight and I’ve stocked up on alcohol free gin and Prosecco from Aldi. Last night I had two wines and two Jack Daniel’s and had a rotter of a head this morning! So I’m jumping back on the sober bus…

Hi everyone ☺️
Late night with drinks last night, very tired today but not too anxious so that's a bonus.
Sober for a few weeks at least now.
Have a lovely evening @harriethoyle🙂

Hi all. Away with work and had a large glass of wine with lunch but then decided not to carry on this evening so tucked up in bed while the rest have gone on. Looking forward to a clear head in the morning.

Hello 👋
I’m on a sober September along with my partner. First weekend is the hardest but we’re counting the benefits and doing ok! We only drink at weekends anyway so it’s not an every-night habit, which does help. Also new jobs and needing clear heads, so that’s another incentive.

@DoubtfulCatthink I'm going to try go sober indefinitely now. I had a nice evening on Friday, but its now Sunday morning & I'm still exhausted. And just generally a bit down. I know its the alcohol so why do I keep doing it 🤦‍♀️
Yesterday was a lazy day at home. I'm awake early today. My mind is working overtime. And I'll probably be a bit unsettled most of the week.
One night out ruins the rest of my week. Its not worth it.
So! I need to try stay off it. I keep saying this, yet here I am... 🤦‍♀️

@ERN79 when I did dry January on my own the first two weekends were hard, but by the third it was ok. IME it gets easier as you go on, because you replace the habit of a glass of wine or a beer with having a cup of tea instead- and I have also found that replacing wine with pretend wine isn’t very effective. I’d always prefer the real stuff so I might as well avoid it altogether (and maybe it switches the head over, as they do recommend that people in recovery avoid replicating the drinking experience with alcohol free versions). I’m eating a lot of chocolate this weekend and I’m sure that’s part of it, hopefully that will calm down too next weekend!!

Good luck!

@DoubtfulCatI don't drink day to day, its socially. And there's no plans now, so I probably won't even feel the urge to drink, if that makes sense.
I just can't seem to say no thats enough once I start 🤦‍♀️
Then I'm just wiped out in the following days.
I have a night out planned at the beginning of October but nothing until then. So the next few weeks should be fine.
Thanks for listening!

I've probably asked this before, but... how do you deal with friends who drink? And telling them you don't or don't want to?
My friends are big drinkers, I've had an odd night where I've not drank & its all 'go on, just have one' etc. Not well done you 🤦‍♀️🤣

I'm trying to get a positive mindset going & planning to avoid alcohol for September at least! I'd love to say for longer, but this anxiety & depression wears off & I'm back to square one 🤦‍♀️
Really really fed up with myself & feelimg so bloody rubbish post drinking. I NEED to do something 🤦‍♀️

I live rurally so will be driving home anyway. None of my friends would push me to drink if I said I wasn’t, even if I didn’t have to drive, so it’s not an issue I’ve faced.

Maybe your friends are feeling uneasy about alcohol too, so they don’t like seeing you stop drinking? I’ve had that myself, when someone says “oh I don’t drink any more, I can’t take it/felt so rubbish/whatever” I’ve had twinges of guilt or shame that I’m not doing the same as them. So maybe it’s that?

Could be that @DoubtfulCat. I don't know.
I see them sporadically, so no plans with them at the moment. Though most if not all my social occasions involve drinking. Which writing it down is not great.

I live in a village, fairly large one, but wasn't brought up here. I have a few friends in the village I socialise with but they're drinkers.
I would like to expand my friendship group but how do you do that as a 47 year old woman? Gosh that sounds sad doesn't it 🤦‍♀️
I see acquaintances on social media doing things like pilates & brunch for example, which sound good but I've nobody to do these things with.
So when I get invited round for drinks I go, as its the only social interaction I get 🤦‍♀️

Its a vicious circle with me & drinking, back on here every few weeks feeling rubbish after a night out.
Don't seem to have the willpower to stop it though.
Arrrgggghhhhh! 🤦‍♀️

Actually I know what you mean. I sometimes think my friends are people I know rather than people I’ve chosen, and I never have anyone who likes the same things as me. That sounds awful and I don’t really mean it like that, but I haven’t a friend to go to yoga with or surfing or climbing, for example. We do end up friends with people we come into contact with, so I have lovely friends who enjoy chatting over a coffee or a walk or a drink- but no friends who enjoy the sports I like.

Maybe the answer for both of us would be putting ourselves in the situation we want to be in, and seeing if friendships develop there? And if not, ‘dating’ ourselves? Go for Pilates and brunch with a nice book instead of a person? 🤔

Yes, friends by chance really, mine are through my children. And I'm grateful to them! But the socialising is drinks on a Friday 🤦‍♀️
I run, not far or fast, but I go. They'd not be interested in that, or the pilates!
I do go to a pilates class but I've made no real friends from it, we're all friendly enough but we don't socialise outside of the class.
I get what you mean about going it alone, but half my issue is the social interaction. So going with a book on my own its really what I'm looking for.
Its a hard one isn't it!

Hi all

Yes to all the things about drinking friends and being with drinking friends while not drinking! I think having the car or being designated driver or bracketing the event to 2 hours with something else planned (even made-up plans have same effect) can all work. I think 2 hours is a nice duration for socialising, doesn't take over your day and absent the drinking, you can do absolutely anything you want afterwards.

We were at a wedding last night and I kind of thought that I would crack. I originally thought if I can have one or two non alcoholic drinks first then that's at least something.

In the end I didn't drink at all at the wedding - DW was driving us and so she wasn't drinking, so that helped me stay on the straight and narrow. I didn't expect her to come with (was my friends who she didn't know), but she gets terrible FOMO, and ended up joining me. I'm quite sure if I'd been flying solo I would have stayed late and got properly on the sauce, eventually! Early ish home and woke up today feeling pretty decent. Whereas I know if I had been drinking there would be this little voice plotting how I could contrive to arrive at a pub during a 'shopping' trip. I know what I'm like, a hungover Sunday is almost always a drinky Sunday.

We both had a little drink on Friday (I just had a mini bottle of Prosecco) to toast a work success for DH (a big one) but have gone back to dry since then and actually I’m finding it quite easy this time, him doing it too really helps, and now we’ve done half the weekends this month and it’s been fine. He is unlikely to continue, and so am I tbf- but I may buy a box of red wine and try to make it last 3+ weekends, so that I’m not having a bottle a week as a minimum. I pretend to myself that if it’s open it needs finishing or it’ll go off, but that pressure isn’t there with a box.

I’m on a 14 day dry streak, still aiming to complete a Sober September.

September so far has seen me manage 2 dry weekends, our wedding anniversary, we’re on holiday for a week from tomorrow, and it’s my birthday at the end of the month, and I’m feeling quite positive about it.

Yes to the 2 hour limit of socialising, I’ve found I’m done after that - I can’t drink anymore soft drinks, there’s nothing new to say, and after 2 hours of drinking friends are staring to get tipsy and a bit loud, repetitive and “oh go on, just have one, it’s the weekend” etc etc.

I’ve started working out so “I have a PT session/yoga class/going for a run first thing in the morning” is my exit strategy at the moment.

Back here again. I really need to do it this time. Hangovers are just awful and anxietybis through the roof

@TiA303091how are you this morning?

I’m so tired tonight I almost wouldn’t bother with a drink even in normal circumstances, but I’m sort of fed up of tea and would like a nice cosy drink (by which I mean red wine or whisky rather than hot chocolate). OH is struggling with dry Fridays and is going out for a few essentials and I’m so tempted to give in and ask for a bottle of Malbec.