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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

968 replies

REP22 · 20/11/2024 13:38

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

OP posts:
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ponzusoup · 28/11/2024 23:13

this is my fave @CarrotSeeds but home made sounds delicious!

Onewildandpreciouslife · 29/11/2024 06:58

Morning all.
7 months @ponzusoup - that is amazing 👏👏👏

Hope you got on ok at the doctors @WendyWagon

I was thinking last night how one of the big changes is how much kinder I am to myself these days. This came up because I was so tired from work that I got on the wrong tube and didn’t realise for a long time! Old Me would have given myself a hard time for being stupid, and I’d have ended up in tears. Now I just thought- oh, it was a mistake, let’s just get home

I think part of it is all the work I’ve done since getting sober - working on people pleasing, excessive goal fixation, perfectionism etc (it is a long list!). Catherine Grey’s Sunshine Warm Sober is really good on this. It is a long term project, and I think it doesn’t really start until about 6 months in - up to then, it’s just a case of “I will not drink today”

The other big thing is I don’t feel ashamed of myself anymore. I was so embarrassed and shamed about my drinking that it bled into everything else.

Hope everyone has a good Friday

WendyWagon · 29/11/2024 07:13

Good morning shipmates.

I agree about the shame game @Onewildandpreciouslife i was always worried about what I'd done and said.
Well done @ponzusoup , half a year and a bit more!

Well I do have gallstones. The surgical team are now recommending I have an operation The med students were fancinated that wegovy had caused the inflammation. Happy to be of service but it's too blinking painful to leave. They did suggest an hospital admission yesterday but I said no. It's the big wedding Saturday. I'll go in Monday if I have to.

EastCoastDamsel · 29/11/2024 07:31

Morning all.

Totally agree with the being kinder to myself @Onewildandpreciouslife . And not feeling ashamed all the time.

I can confidently say to myself and everyone else that I am doing my best and trying to bring my best self to everything I do now.

And when I'm having a tough week (like this one ) my coping mechanisms are so much healthier. A run, easy dinner, a long hot bath and early to bed.

These things don't solve the problems/issues but neither did the drinks and nowadays, things really are better (and not worse) in the morning.

@CarrotSeeds my DH is also into home ferments..some are far more successful than others. (His kraut is tasty but kefir/kombucha and water kefir less so)

@WendyWagon hope you manage to enjoy the weekend and wedding and that the gallbladder doesn't flare up badly.

@ponzusoup the LA Brewery stuff looks very fancy. Might try it myself.

@REP22 thanks for keeping the ship steady amidst your own work stress. And thank youmSod for keeping upls all smiling on

CarrotSeeds · 29/11/2024 08:34

Gosh @WendyWagon You are having quite the time of it. At least you have a diagnosis now. Hope you have an amazing time at The Big Wedding!! And show off your 👒 to its full glory!

@EastCoastDamsel oh yes, the kefir 🤢. My husband also makes that and although I know it's chock full of good things I can't drink it. It's the texture, too thick. I don't like milk shakes either even though I love drinking milk.

Thanks for the link to the fancy kombucha. I'll admit I looked at the price last night and thought I would pass but now I'm thinking that it's for Christmas, I won't be drinking any alcohol and I bloody well deserve something nice. We would happily spend £8 on a bottle of nice wine for home and £30 if out for dinner (THAT has been a fantastic saving as now we just have a bottle of sparkling water) but the thought of almost £10 for a posh AF drink felt too extravagant. Well I have changed my mind and will be ordering 6 later today 🥰

Hope all is okay with everyone else as we head into the weekend. X

ponzusoup · 29/11/2024 12:31

maybe try a single before you splash on a case? ocado sell it sometimes at £8 on offer. i totally love it and it fills the weekend spot where a g&t or glass of fizz would have been for me. it's the nicest kombucha i've found so far.

ponzusoup · 29/11/2024 12:34

basically i don't want you to buy 6 and hate it ... but id be very surprised. i know its a cash splash but i used to spend so much more on booze. i'll be having it on xmas day and NYE

ponzusoup · 29/11/2024 12:35

also recommend this as a lovely AF beer

ponzusoup · 29/11/2024 12:37

@WendyWagon sending love and healing and good wedding party vibes. hope you're ok

CarrotSeeds · 29/11/2024 12:38

I mentioned it to my lovely daughter and she said she would buy a case for Christmas as a present 🥰. There's not much I hate so I'm happy to trust you on this one 😉 @ponzusoup

CarrotSeeds · 29/11/2024 12:45

I've just checked Ocado and they do have it for £8 atm but don't deliver to my area or to my dad's. I'll give it a try anyway. It gets great reviews.

Carpetburn · 29/11/2024 18:53

Evening! My first real test today. A very stressful day at work and my usual routine is to stop at the shop for booze. But not tonight-I did stop at the shop for dinner bits but NO BOOZE. I also ordered some gunners saint as an AF treat.
im now home-it’s raining so zero chance of leaving the house and I have a busy day tomorrow. Just had to remind myself that if I caved tonight I’d feel anxious and knackered tomorrow so decided hell no!

TryingDry · 29/11/2024 19:36

Well done @Carpetburn!

This will be the first alcohol free Friday I have had in a while! It is Baltic outside today, so zero danger of me going anywhere either 😂. Who knew the winter weather would be so helpful?

Carpetburn · 29/11/2024 19:47

Same! The cold and rain might just be my salvation this weekend!

WendyWagon · 30/11/2024 07:50

Morning shipmates.
I'm off to the wedding and i feel and look 80. No disco for me!
I shall take a picture of the hat.

Fingers crossed I get to the speaches.
Have a lovely day all. X

Onewildandpreciouslife · 30/11/2024 08:40

Have a great day @WendyWagon and look after yourself x

TryingDry · 30/11/2024 09:59

I would love to see the hat please @wendywagon. I hope you have a good day

CarrotSeeds · 30/11/2024 10:07

Hope you have a super day @WendyWagon Can't wait to see the outfit and the hat. 🥰

Carpetburn · 30/11/2024 14:04

7 days today. I’ve had much longer AF periods but I’ll take it. Did an exercise class this morning without feeling hideous. Have had a restful day so far and I’m out to a social event tonight but I’m driving so that will be straightforward. When I’m fed up I’ll just leave!

EastCoastDamsel · 30/11/2024 16:52

🤩 Amazing @Carpetburn . Enjoy your evening.

ShyMaryEllen · 30/11/2024 17:48

Have a great day, @WendyWagon.

Congrats on 7 days, @Carpetburn. It gets really encouraging when we can count in weeks, then months, then years. Seven months is awesome, @ponzusoup.

It's the same with trigger days, @TryingDry. The first Friday, then the first Christmas etc. Getting as many as possible under our belts is very satisfying though - they get so much less scary after that.

We've been putting up picture lights this afternoon, and my husband's been a real grouch. You'd think I'd asked him to I can't pretend I'm a permanent little ray of sunshine, but he had a few drinks last night, and my guess is he's got a low-level hangover. Life is so much nicer without them.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 30/11/2024 18:25

Just checking in ladies. Probably outing but my mum has died. Heading off “home” to start sorting things out. Time was, I’d pack a plastic wine glass in my bag and get a bottle of wine for this train journey. I am now halfway through a bag of Percy pigs and feel a bit sick. But I will not drink, and I’m very glad you’re all in my phone

TryingDry · 30/11/2024 18:45

I'm so sorry about your mum @onewildandpreciouslife

Where I am from in Ireland, we send cake or traybakes to the family when someone passes away, so here is some digitally Cake, Flowers, Brew