The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

The gallbladder is still in situ. Something more pressing has revealed itself. Operation next week.
You might remember I have a IRL follower of this page so I'd rather not say but it's serious. It would be all around the town within the hour!

I'm sorry to hear that, @WendyWagon. I hope the op goes well, and that you make a full recovery very quickly.
x

Thank you @REP22 Part (or most) of my dis-ease is that I’m naturally quite solitary, live on my own (except for my little dog), not working at the moment, live rurally, so it’s the easy way out to isolate. Which is when the over-thinking, over-analysing sets in. I’m also naturally quite lazy (!) so anything which will take me out of my own head is a Good Thing. I’ve enjoyed catching up on the thread and listening to people’s stories.

That sounds like a right nightmare @ShyMaryEllen - what a bother. I occasionally have similar with my Housing Association and their doings. Just last evening, Sid and I opened two letters from them, both dated the same date, one advising that an electrical check was needed on the property and the other beginning "Because you have not communicated with us over our previous letter to you..." and threatening all sorts in red letters. Gits. Good for you for sticking to your guns and winning the day. You can always tap them up to the FCA if you need to - Financial Conduct Authority | FCA. On other financial matters, I have found them (and ultimately the Financial Ombudsman) to be very helpful.

All the best for the hospital stuff @WendyWagon. Sending much love your way. 💐❤️. xx

@FaithHopeCarnage - you sound a lot like me. At home, it's just me and Sid, and I'm an over-analyser too. Fairly indolent in my ways and also rurally located. A major part of why I was drinking was to drown out the sound of my own thoughts. It has got easier though - I'm a bit more at peace with myself. Not always, but more and more each day. I'm so glad you've found us here. I don't know where I'd be without this thread and wonderful people on board. ❤️❤️❤️

Here's a new thread, for when the time comes. The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025 | Mumsnet

Off out for a Sidwalk now. See you here or on the other thread.

Keep going. It will be alright soon. xx

@WendyWagon Best of luck with your operation. Sending positive and healing vibes your way ❤️‍🩹

I'm another one at home a lot alone, and drank to stop being lonely or focusing on what was actually wrong.
Anyway, I've made it to 40 days and feeling OK, not tempted to drink.
I'm going to join the new thread under a name change I only use for there, I don't want anyone to find me here. I hope that's OK.

That’s for sorting the new thread @REP22 x

Day 83 for me today 🙌

keep going everyone! X

That's absolutely 100% OK. You are very welcome here. I'm glad you have found us. 40 days is fantastic. I know how hard it is and how much effort and courage it has cost you. No judging or unkindness here. We value you, just as you are on here. xx

Hi I'm really struggling to stop and wondered if anyone had tried hypnotherapy? Ideally something online in the first instance. I have no willpower come Thursday and once I've drank Thursday I'll do it again Friday and Saturday. I'm so fed up of it.

I used recorded hypnotherapy a lot in the early days. I will never know if it worked, or whether other things I did were more important, but I found that listening to a calm voice talking me down, asking me to relax and guiding me through a walk on the beach or whatever was a pleasant way to spend sleepless nights. I used sleep headphones and made a ritual of going to bed. A scented bath, an oil burner in the bedroom (so there was a smell I came to associate with sleep), a tidy bedroom and made bed, undemanding TV until I knew I was tired enough to sleep, headphones on and a hypnosis tape. It was a soothing ritual and worked for me.

I liked Craig Beck, Steve G Jones, Darren Marks and Glenn Harrold, but there are lots of others available. I had one that asked you to imagine a safe space and go there as you fell asleep. Mine was a sort of cave, and I arrived by boat, but I don't know if I made that up (you chose your own space, so possibly means of transport, too) or if it was part of the narrative. I can't remember which hypnotist it was, so I can't find it again, but I would love to, as I still 'top up' with hypnosis now and then. If anyone knows what it is, please let me know?

Hi @hereshegoesagain36 , I am so sorry you are struggling so terribly. It really is wretched. I wish I had words to take it all away and make things better. ❤️
I haven't tried hypnotherapy myself, though I know others have found it helpful. The ones that @ShyMaryEllen has suggested, in particular. At my lowest ebb I sought help from Inclusion, an NHS Service - Homepage - Inclusion. There, I did SMART recovery, which I found particularly helpful - Self-Help Addiction Recovery | UK Smart Recovery. I also did CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) in the past, but that was not related to drinking, though I found the techniques l learned there useful.

Have you thought about maybe not drinking, just for tonight - see how you do? Once you've got through the first hours, night, few nights, etc., you will be surprised at how much better and stronger you can be. I was in a place where I quite literally could not imagine a night without a drink, how I would ever sleep without it, and how a future not involving drink seemed utterly unfathomable to me.

The drink is a false friend. It makes you depressed and catches you when you least expect it. But you can break free of it. You're a worthwhile person and you don't have to do this to yourself. You can control the drink. It does not control you.

Sorry if this sounds trite and patronising. Sometimes when you're right down there it can be so hard to get up and keep on climbing. But you can do it. You're stronger than you think. Please keep posting. Take care of yourself.

Strength and love. x

Morning all
Am I going loopy or did a new thread start that I can't find ?
Anyways - day 61 hear and impatiently waiting for my stop drinking app to provide me with a 2 months sober badge ! How sad does that make me .
Sunday is a hard day ... so used to having a drink in my hand preparing dinner .
Already had two pits of tea and eyeing up the 0% bubbly. Ouch

Here not hear
Wow sorry I'm losing the plot clearly today !

Well done on your 61 days @mumzof4x - Sundays are just grim aren’t they. Hang in there

yes, there’s a new thread

Morning all. Hope you’re all doing well. I’ve not been on here for a couple of weeks so need to catch up on the posts.
Today is day 31 for me. I’m feeling so much clearer headed, my sleep has improved, my anxiety is a lot less, I just generally feel a lot better. And the best part I haven’t had to deal with any hangovers! I’m feeling so much more positive in my mindset and I cope with day to day life a lot better.
unfortunately no weight loss as of yet but take each day at a time.
hooe you’re all doing well. 💕💕

Morning @TiA303091
Huge congratulations on your 31 days - brilliant work! 👏👏👏
Glad you’re starting to see the benefits

It will be a bit quiet on here because there is a new thread for spring, so pop on over and say hello