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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

968 replies

REP22 · 20/11/2024 13:38

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

OP posts:
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ShyMaryEllen · 30/11/2024 21:08

Sorry to hear your news, @Onewildandpreciouslife.

Remember to look after yourself - it's easy forgotten at times like this. x

CarrotSeeds · 30/11/2024 21:42

So very sorry @Onewildandpreciouslife What awful news. Look after yourself. I'm sure you carry the love of everyone on this thread with you as you travel 'home' xxx

EastCoastDamsel · 30/11/2024 21:55

So sorry to hear your news @Onewildandpreciouslife . Be kind to yourself. Grief is such a, I don't even know how to describe it, slippery maybe, thing. It comes and goes and can make us feel all sorts of things.

We are here, in your phone so please don't hesitate to let us know if you need support.

RunningtheHill · 01/12/2024 07:59

Sorry to hear about your mum @Onewildandpreciouslife sending hugs 🤗

I had a sober birthday on Friday and all went well, it was a lovely day. Nearly 9 weeks now, have a nice Sunday everyone

Onewildandpreciouslife · 01/12/2024 13:12

Thanks all.

Well done on your sober birthday @RunningtheHill - great work!

Hope you’re ok @WendyWagon

Had a couple of tricky moments over the last 24 hours but still sober.

WendyWagon · 01/12/2024 14:28

After all.
I'm so sorry for your loss@Onewildandpreciouslife . My mum was tricky but I still miss her everyday.
Do what you need to do and eat well. I've just had Christmas cake. First of December and all that.

WendyWagon · 01/12/2024 14:36

I declined to drink the toast booze and they had a lovely touch with AF prosecco marked with edible flowers. It did break my heart as it was a free bar but I'm proud of me. No legless Wendy. No shameful antics.

The hat was way off the mark and I ended up taking it off as no one could see past me. . However I'm glad I took a wool shawl because it was freezing.

WendyWagon · 01/12/2024 14:44

The hat.

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024
TryingDry · 01/12/2024 15:16

I love the hat @wendywagon. Very dramatic, which I love.

I don't have any weddings coming up. I can imagine the free bar being a struggle to stay away from, but I bet you felt great the morning after.

CarrotSeeds · 01/12/2024 16:23

LOVE the hat Wendy 😍😍😍. I always wear a hat to a wedding. Am very much a hat person. Well done for not drinking. 😇

CarrotSeeds · 01/12/2024 16:29

About 6 years ago I went to a family wedding with a free bar, lovely champagne and wine, a posh and stylish do. I got so pissed that I fell over while walking across the dance floor 🙈🙈🙈. So embarrassed and ashamed, especially as lots of people must have seen me but they were all too polite to say anything.

I have another family wedding coming up next year and aim to be totally sober.

REP22 · 01/12/2024 17:50

So sorry about your mum @Onewildandpreciouslife - sending you love and strength for the days ahead. Do look after yourself. 💐💐

That's an exquisite hat @WendyWagon , absolutely gorgeous. Lovely colour; you have great taste. And well done on staying sober, which cannot have been easy. I made an utter drunken fool of myself at a family wedding about 15 years ago, which still haunts me to this day. And at a friends' engagement party once, which led to several weddings where, upon finding my seats at the reception tables and introducing myself I was met with various forms of "Oh, you're THAT REP22!" Rarely a good thing.

Work is incredibly intense and WeakLink is being predictably as much use as a chocolate teapot. But I have planned for this. A senior manager came and looked at what's what at the end of the week. She shook her head and muttered darkly about "If we can manage to pull this off...". Well, we will. I have spreadsheeted the thing to death and refuse to be defeated. It will work. Even if I have to deploy Sid to the shipping company that royally c~cked-up on us on Friday. I shall usher him into the office and quietly close the door behind him. Three minutes and twenty seconds ought to do the trick. And the sweet gamey tang of human flesh ought to save me a few much-needed pennies in a cheap alternative to Sid's turkey dinner this Christmas. Now, where to shove the kumquat stuffings...? Top 'n' tail, methinks. 😉

Back to it again tomorrow - but hopefully the worst days are now behind us. Hopefully.

Here's a late-on Sid for you, re-creating one of his favourite scenes from the film "Titanic".

Strength and love my friends. Keep going. I promise the view from the top is lovely. You've got this. ❤️xx

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024
OP posts:
ShyMaryEllen · 01/12/2024 20:31

Draw me like one of your French dogs 😎

Carpetburn · 01/12/2024 21:04

So sorry to hear about your mum @Onewildandpreciouslife and I hope you are looking after yourself as best you can.
@WendyWagon glad the wedding went well. I managed a very boozy do last night by not drinking a drop and driving home and disappearing like Cinderella before midnight. Caught up with a few people and had a good time without any alcohol. And the joy of waking up this morning without guilt, worry or shame.
congratulations on your AF birthday @REP22
And thanks to everyone here for being so welcoming. I like having a place to check in with likeminded folk!

ShyMaryEllen · 01/12/2024 21:30

Well done on the sober wedding, @WendyWagon. A free bar and a crowd of people offering to get you a drink every five minutes is a lethal combination. I love the hat, too.

CarrotSeeds · 01/12/2024 21:48

@ShyMaryEllen 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EastCoastDamsel · 02/12/2024 07:18

Morning! Congrats on the sober wedding @WendyWagon !

Checking in 6 months today!

CarrotSeeds · 02/12/2024 08:47

Wow @EastCoastDamsel Half a year 🎉🎉🎉. That's amazing! Really well done!

Onewildandpreciouslife · 02/12/2024 08:51

Woop woop @EastCoastDamsel ! Amazing stuff 👏👏💪🏻

TryingDry · 02/12/2024 09:26

6 months is amazing! Well done to you @EastCoastDamsel

One week for me today. Was very tired yesterday and fell asleep on the sofa, then woke up early this morning with a headache. Assume it's just to be expected. I've never been a daily drinker, but was definitely drinking enough to notice it now I'm not drinking.

ShyMaryEllen · 02/12/2024 10:05

TryingDry · 02/12/2024 09:26

6 months is amazing! Well done to you @EastCoastDamsel

One week for me today. Was very tired yesterday and fell asleep on the sofa, then woke up early this morning with a headache. Assume it's just to be expected. I've never been a daily drinker, but was definitely drinking enough to notice it now I'm not drinking.

Yes, you can expect a lot of odd feelings for a while - it's your body resetting. It's got used to a regular intake of alcohol, which is no longer happening, so it will complain a bit.

Are you taking Thiamine? If not, it's a good idea to get some, and take high doses at this stage. It's AKA Vitamin B1, and can help to protect your brain from withdrawal. You can't overdose, as you will excrete what you don't use, in the form of strangely luminous wee.

Well done, @EastCoastDamsel! 6 months is a real achievement. It's great that you've got here ahead of Christmas, too.

WendyWagon · 02/12/2024 10:10

Morning all.
Well done @EastCoastDamsel an excellent result.

I'm still suffering and looking like a puffer fish.

TryingDry · 02/12/2024 10:10

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - I will order some thiamine

Anna73moose · 02/12/2024 19:59

@WendyWagon love that hat- its fabulous!

Just catching up on everyone’s chat, I get a bit lost sometimes if I’ve not logged in for a few days. Lesson learned, will log in more regularly.
I’m hitting day 30 tomorrow and feeling great. Did my first sober girls day out on Saturday and was home in time for Strictly with no hangover the next day, it was brilliant!
Hope you’ve all got your tree up!

ponzusoup · 02/12/2024 23:50

big congrats @EastCoastDamsel amazing hard work you have done to get you to six months. be very proud of yourself!

@WendyWagon love that hat! wonderful stylish lady !

@Onewildandpreciouslife so sorry to hear about your mum. sending much love.

@ShyMaryEllen wise warm words as ever hope you ok

@TryingDry @Anna73moose @Carpetburn great beginnings , acorns turn to oak trees, well done

@CarrotSeeds @REP22 those drunken wedding stories eh? great that you can both tell them now and bring all that drunken shame into the light

waves at sir sid of soberville our true mascot 🧡🧡