On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@Amdone123 it's funny re: Christmas. My family are all about the booze, but DH's aren't. I've drifted away from my family this year, partly due to their near-constant boozing, so I doubt I'll see them much this year anyway. So doing a sober-ish Christmas may be easier. A trip to France sounds lovely! I'm going to do the summer/winter wardrobe swap this week...

@Nowstrong Oh I'm envious of you being in Croatia - it's beautiful there! Well done on the fizzy water and coffee (I don't like either! It would be juices/smoothies and tea for me!). Glad the physical benefits are plenty and very noticeable for you, amazing.

@Flumpywoo I'm ready for Sober October! I have one big glass of red left in a a bottle that I'm looking forward to after my exercise class tonight. Then that's it. I do this challenge most years, and most of the time I have one or two days/nights off if there's a wedding or bottomless brunch or something pre-booked. I still feel proud at the end. Not tried Try Dry, but will use I Am Sober and looking forward to a 30-day streak!

@Jbob1976 your plan sounds perfect for you; like AmDone said, only we know what's best for us. I'm glad you're starting to feel a little less sad and hopeless. Onwards and upwards.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart Congratulations on your half marathon! And 10 minutes off is spectacular !! No wonder you were on a high last night. Hope you're not too achey today and can enjoy a bath with some Epsom salts.

Well, I went for a walk and talk with a friend who is struggling yesterday. We walked for an hour or so then it started raining...so we ended up in my lovely local where I had a half a cider (would normally be a pint). She doesn't drink but had the same, and said she was tipsy when we went back into the fresh air...! How I wish I could be like that. Anyway, couldn't log an AF day on my apps but didn't care, as stopped at half when it could have been more AND resisted the large glass of red in the bottle at home as saving it for tonight.

Thanks @ForeverTipsy we can help each other through it and one day off is better than none haha. Enjoy that glass of red tonight!

Thank you @Amdone123 & @ForeverTipsy it’s not ideal as I’m still drinking 30/40 units over weekend nights but those 4 af free days does me so much good. Tomo would have been 16 years since our first date so I’ll be sad and I remember it so clearly, I won’t drink tho and got to keep looking forward now. It’s hard but I must do, I had such a lovely weekend with my youngest son , just 2 of us all weekend . I actually felt happy feelings again. I know there are still tears to be shed but it’s not as gloomy as it was , to everyone doing dry October I salute you and go and bloody do it 😊

@Flumpywoo 🤣 - that's fine. I don't anticipate a smooth run. We'll just do what we can.
@Freezingfeetwarmheart well done on a full week and on the best personal time. 2 days a week is a good plan - I was doing that before summer and holidays and tennis. I should get back on that plan ( after I've had a good go at sober October of course).

Morning, folks, hope you're all ok.
I'm starting sober October today. I nearly bought wine last night. Walked in a shop and then right out because I knew I'd be annoyed with myself.
I'm going to write down my triggers today and have a think about how I can tackle them.
I don't know if I can do it, but I'll try.

Hello, long time absent for me. Wine is creeping up again, only managing 1 or 2 days off it a week so am back to chat to you lovely ladies. Planning AF tues, wed, Thurs this week and being here always improves my resolve. Hope you're all keeping well, I'll read up on the thread today to get up to date.

@Hohofortherobbers hi and welcome back. I'd say, as always, 1 day at a time ❤️

Hi - looks like this is the thread for me (is it about to end though, we're on page 20?)

I've currently been managing 2 AF nights a week for the past four or so months - intermittently manage 4. I feel so much better when I do four so I want to join this group to help me stay strong. Ultimately, I'd like to do 5 nights AF.

I have thought about going completely teetotal, but I suspect without building up my will power muscles in preparation, I'll just end up drinking even more than I am at the moment. So (fingers crossed) four AF nights it is: building up to 5, and then think whether I need to go any further...

Hi @walliedug and welcome.
Yes, probably time soon for a new thread - someone will start one, and don't worry, we'll find you !
I know what you mean about 4 af days a week. I was saying on here that I went through a phase of 5 af days - just drank on a Wednesday and on a Saturday. But, as with most of my initiatives, twas short lived.
This group can help you stay accountable. Just state your weekly plan, and post progress on here.
It doesn't matter if you have a blip or struggle - people on here will support you.

Thanks @Amdone123.

Here's my plan. Monday through to Thursday AF, adding in Sunday when I feel that I'm likely to succeed. I used the NHS drink free days app for a while, but kind of fell out with it. Prefer just writing the successful days in my diary. Will also report back here.

Thank you for the welcome back @Amdone123 heading for the gym and think I'll best leave my cards at home so I can't stop off at the shops on the way back.

Hi @walliedug and welcome. I don’t think I’ll ever be tee total but I currently doing 4 af days a week, I don’t enjoy them but I don’t buy any drink so I can’t drink . Had really tough time lately and sometimes hammered it. It still gets better of me and I live a Friday when I have a first drink, it’s always on edge for me but for me key is don’t buy can’t drink it. The people on here are wonderful and so supportive and more importantly get it. Yes I still drink way more than I should but , bearing in mind of what gone on with break up and with what I was drinking in July and August I am proud of myself , with me it can always go either way but prior to June this year 1 af day was a huge achievement . All here to help and listen

Went to gym, without any cards. Home and dry ber-boom-tish

Hello @walliedug and @Hohofortherobbers (love that book!) well done on the gym sesh and no alcohol!

@walliedug have you tried the Drink Aware app? I use it to log my alcohol as it shows calories and units and so tracks it all. I use the NHS drink free days one too, but find it too black/white. It is nice to look at the month/progress though and see I've had lots of drink free days.

Day one of Sober October almost complete! Tuesday nights will be easy for me as I'm working. It's Wednesdays and Sundays which are my usual drinking nights, and I will miss the buzz and relaxing effects. Not so much how I was feeling this morning after helping DH finish his Kraken last night...! Furry tongue, dry mouth, headache, sluggish, tired etc for half of the day.

I'm going to have to find other ways to relax, like having a candlelit bath, listening to relaxing music and watching crap on tv I think!

@Hohofortherobbers well done ! Taking no money or cards to work helps me, too.
@ForeverTipsy day 1 ✅ - I'm similar to you, though. Tuesdays not really a problem. I get an urge on Wednesdays too.
I'm going to continue not taking money out and taking it one day at a time.
I feel good today - I've exercised, eaten properly and drank my sparkling water 😇

Morning, folks, how are we all doing?
@Bigbus @40andlovelife @enoughisenough4 @FiveShelties @Liverpool52 @mumzof4x @NextPhaseOfLife @Peridot1 @Swannyb @SisterMaryLuke
( I've just tagged posters we haven't heard from in a while....)

Yesterday was day 1 here and as stated, relatively easy. I slept really well last night. I did wake in the middle of the night and made a mental note that when I'm feeling happy go - lucky through the day, and tempted to buy wine, I must remember it doesn't make for a good night's sleep.
I do already know this and I often play it forward but I really need to keep reminding myself as I also feel anxiety - free this morning whereas after even just 1 bottle of wine, I can feel depressed, anxious the next morning. And I can't really afford to feel depressed as I don't cope that well with winter, as it is.

Morning all! Still going strong. Actually enjoyed a tonic water while my friend had a G&T and didn't even want one too. Feeling really good, mentally and physically. Feel slim (I'm not) but that's because I've lost the bloat.
Won't bore you with the rest. But I'm in a good place.
So! Let's just get through this soboctober and have an AF party!
Sending best strong vibes.
Will catch-up properly when I'm back and before my dreaded family visit. Stay strong! X

@Nowstrong you are smashing this 👊❤️

Hi Amdone123 great to hear from you. Have just completed Day 53 and all is going well. Still no cravings which is great. My sleeping is worse than ever though, which is saying something! I am going away next week for a few days to celebrate a big birthday and I will be celebrating with wine. I am perfectly happy with this decision and upon my return I shall get back on it until December. This is a plan I am happy with. I don't want to be completely teetotal, but I am finding this seems to work for me nowadays. I have broken the back of a lifetime of habitual drinking since lockdown and can save alcohol for high days and holidays.

I haven't been on this thread so much as I feel I am perhaps in a different place from many on here (I really hope that doesn't sound judgemental - I am in no position to judge others, believe me!!!). I also don't feel the threads on complete abstinence are the right fit for me - I'm somewhere in between. I hope this makes sense.

Good luck to everyone - keep up the good work.

@SisterMaryLuke you're doing really well and I'm so glad that you've found where you want to be. You have a plan and I think that's great.
I understand regarding the thread, etc - I think it's all about finding what's best for you.
We're all so different - but with a very common issue, and we find our own ways to cope.
Enjoy your celebration next week ❤️

@ForeverTipsy imagine feeling tipsy on half a cider - I can but dream 🤣

Thanks for the tag @Amdone123 .

I am going okay… Last Friday I made it until 3pm, then had the wine craving and drunk a whole bottle to myself! That’s a lot for me.

I’ve decided I do not like the feeling of being drunk anymore (I don’t think I ever did, but now conscious of it). Not just the poor sleep, hangover, anxiety, but also the cringing the next day of things said!

What are the goals of this week? Mine is to only drink Thursday and Sunday (planned social events) but not get drunk!

Hey @Swannyb I'm the same - don't like the feeling of being drunk any more. Hence my name change 😉 I'm going to try and save alcohol for special occasions only, and only ever get tipsy but never drunk again. I don't think anyone genuinely likes the feeling of being drunk, do they?

I'm pre-menstrual, so had a crap night's sleep. Managed to walk 8 miles today, and off to my exercise class soon, but suddenly feel so tired and a bit down in the dumps. Would normally buy a bottle of wine after class to enjoy in front of the telly, but it's only day 2 of Sober October so can't! Plus I'm driving at 9am tomorrow and used to worry about being over the limit on occasion.

@ForeverTipsy I hear you ! Felt the urge before but then remembered it's only Day 2 - this month's going so slow 🥴.
But......I've got my granddaughter early tomorrow so want to be fresh for that and my trusted trick of leaving all monies at home is working.