On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Hi all, I've not posted on this thread before, mainly because I'm not very good at keeping up with everyone, but I do lerk.

I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago on Monday after a decade of drinking every day with the odd week break here and there. My drinking became a ridiculous habit and ended up where I I'd buy a bottle of wine saying to myself that's all I'll have, then after that bottle I'd be walking up the shop for another and get whatever was on offer wine wise, sometimes I didn't even like the wine I bought but would justify buying a second bottle was OK because "I hadn't paid full price".

Over the years my alcohol problem has gotten me in lots of trouble from fallouts, stupid behaviour, dangerous behaviour, has cost me a fortune, made me gain loads of weight and nearly cost me my relationship with my dd.

3 weeks ago, I stopped. The first week was hell, but I've done well.

Today, I had something happen that led me to feel anxious all afternoon, and when I was in Sainsbury's, I was VERY tempted to buy alcohol. I've lost 2 inches over my body since stopping, and so I was actually justifying. "If I buy gin, that's not got the calories like wine has." But I didn't buy it! I didn't buy it. Instead, I bought a large box of milk tray that was half price. I didn't buy it and I was so tempted!

hi and welcome @Healingsfall totally get the drinking every day for many years and to resist like you did today hats off, wish I could . I now seem to stop n start, longest I done was 15 days so you doing better than me. You done so well and should be proud. It’s a battle that never ends for me, but this group is so lovely and supporting , not just when doing well but when you know what hits the fan. Keep posting and staying af 😊

@Jbob1976 during my withdrawal week I read the book Alcohol Explained (you can download it from amazon). I read it cover to cover in about 2 days as it really spoke to me. I think that's partly why I didn't buy it today. The book really explains the process and psychology of why we keep going back and I really recommend the read. Like you I've been trying to cut down/stop for years.

Hi @Healingsfall ivd read most of it myself and in my moments of clarity totally get it and believe in it. I’m going through a break up at them moment and all sense seems to have gone out the window, getting through a day seems an achievement. The book really hits home and when you read it you wonder why you’ll drink again but?? I do, I’m hoping once and if I get over this i can see sense , I know I can abstain but at the moment I can’t as it’s just too hard

Evening all! Quick update from me…. The 70odd streak has come to an end. Had two very small glasses of wine at my friends party. Felt really in control and did enjoy them…. But gutted I ended my streak but focusing on how well I’ve done and now thinking what my alchol journey will be moving forward xxx

Morning all! Welcome @Healingsfall and well done for being so strong. The excuses I've used for buying alcohol are ludicrous. You did well with the chocolates. Half price too! Enjoy them!

@Jbob1976 I think you are owed a happy birthday today. So 💐and enjoy your day. You are doing brilliantly and those 2 glasses are nothing to worry about. You felt in control and that's the main thing. You should be proud of yourself, just cross those 2 glasses off the list and continue your AF streak.

Still AF and the weight is slowly dropping (at last), sleep is a bliss, I'm really sleeping like a baby at the moment. So it must have taken all this time to get rid of the chemicals in my brain that were alcohol induced.

Apart from leering at the chocolate and biscuits at the shops I'm doing OK. Am slightly hooked on apple juice at the moment, watered down it's really nice and refreshing. As it's getting chillier the hot chocolate will soon be on the menu again, but if I really want to lose a bit of flab must be careful.

Beautiful sunny day here, chilly, lovely walk on the books. Hope you all have a lovely Sunday, stay strong. Sending positive vibes to all.

Just a quick post as I'm going out today. So much to do.
@Healingsfall welcome onboard and well done on 3 weeks and for not caving I the supermarket. I really must read that book. I actually once read the 1st chapter and I still think of how much sense it made, so if I read the book, who knows?
Thanks for the reminder!
@Mj20 2 small glasses is nothing. I know you're a bit disappointed ( no need to be) - I'd actually see it as a win. You had a taste and you didn't go overboard so you can abstain and you can moderate. That's brilliant !
@Nowstrong you're doing so well - so inspiring. There are low calorie hot chocolate drinks and lattes that I like. I only ever have a couple an evening so doesn't break the calorie bank.
@Jbob1976 happy birthday 🎂. Be good to yourself today. All the things that make you feel good.

Well, yesterday I had children from 8am til 7pm. If ever I deserved a drink ! Had 2 x beers, a hot bath and bed.
I may drink today because it's a sporting event but it's not a day conducive to drinking lots.

Morning all, was woken up today with a coffee and card by my youngest , it was so lovely and I got upset. Got a lovely day ahead with my kids and grandson, still feeling so sad tho.

Hello and thank you @Amdone123, will look for the lighter ones and indulge.
Sorry @Jbob1976 got you mixed up with @Mj20, but I'm sure everyone made the amendments. Keep going both of you! You are both doing SO well.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Ty for the lovely words of wisdom all! @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong i think moving forward I’ll continue abstaining and just have one (max 2) on high days and holidays xxx

Hello all,

Sorry haven't caught up on the latest but just came across this on Instagram and thought I'd share x

@Healingsfall welcome! I'm new here too, but it seems a really friendly and supportive space :-)

Happy birthday @Jbob1976 🎂that's so lovely of your youngest to bring you a coffee and card to wake you up! I hope you're having a nice day with family.

@Mj20 congratulations on the 70+ day streak! That's incredible. I decided to do 100 consecutive days once as a real challenge. I chose to start on 1st January 2020...needless to say, the streak ended mid-March when I got to 80 days and the pandemic hit. I then drank more than ever for a couple of years, but was always so so proud of reaching 80% of my target. I'm thinking of trying to do 100 days straight again soon, just not ready yet. I'm like you; aiming to have one or two glasses at most, on high days and holidays 😊

Did a lovely scarecrow trail around town yesterday in the sun. Bumped into some friends and they mentioned the pub, and then I was sooo tempted to finish the trail there with a nice cold pint of cider in the sun...but didn't! DH kept me on the straight and narrow. So have now not drank since Monday, which is awesome for me. Think I'll have a big glass of red tonight whilst watching The Perfect Couple - anyone else watching that on Netflix?

@enoughisenough4 thank you so much for that graphic - love it. I've now just gone onto Insta and followed that person. I'm looking to follow more Sober Curious Insta people, if anyone else can recommend any?

Happy birthday @Jbob1976 !!!

Had such a lovely bday even if tinged with sadness. My kids spoilt me rotten and big birthday cuddles with my gorgeous grandson . My boys are staying at the flat tonight with me. I will have a few drinks and then af to next weekend. I know I will do it.

Morning! AF 1 Month today! Can hardly believe it! Determined to continue. Bit hooked on fizzy apple juice at the moment...

@Jbob1976 what a lovely birthday! You are doing so well and trust me the sadness will pass. Everything does. Eventually. Stay strong. You're so loved by your family.

@ForeverTipsy getting out and about helps a lot. I went for very long hike yesterday with a very fit friend. Then had a very long night's sleep, 'cos I was knackered.. Did you enjoy the wine in the evening? You seem to be moderating well. Loved the Perfect Couple.

@enoughisenough4 thank you, think I might print that out and stick it on the fridge. Good reminder.

@Mj20 am curious about how you plan to continue. I'm worried that if I have 1-2 glasses, it will be back to normal, not necessarily a lot but daily. So I'm going to maintain AF for the time being.

Have sport this morning to finish me off (still tired from yesterday's hike). Weight is slowly but surely going down (yes!!!), sleep is flipping marvelous. It's incredible how well I'm sleeping at the moment, makes me wonder if when drinking I must have been so tired a lot of the time. Going to read that book again (gone brain dead and can't remember the title) that explains a lot of the chemical changes that alcohol creates in the body and brain.

Going to revive my brain with some more tea and then find said book title. Then sport. Enjoy you day. Stay strong. Sending lots of positive vibes.

Morning all!
lovely catching up on everyone’s news.
so, @Nowstrong, great question… what is my plan…. Well I’m not entirely sure. But I do know I never want to be a regular drinker again…. Even after that tiny amount Saturday I was exhausted yesterday, lacking the vibrancy and energy I had before and just not 100%….. so it really will be very little and very often. Hubby and I are out for a posh meal at the weekend and I will have 1 glass…. Then that will be for a long while I think xxxx

That is really interesting @Mj20 concerning the fact that you felt less vibrant and energetic the next day, after only 2 glasses. That is my main concern, losing the benefits that I have gained by having just 1 or 2 glasses and taking ages to get back to where I am now. Sleep wise it is simply incredible. Lots of energy and yes, feeling vibrant.

Have found the book I was looking for earlier and it was quoted by @Healingsfall further up, Alcohol Explained. Going to re read it to stay focused and understand better. Be reminded of all the negative effects of alcohol.

Off to play taxi to DGD, we always have a catch-up chat in the car, plus I need a bit of shopping, so my afternoon is taken care of.

Take care everyone!

Hi everyone, haven't caught up with the thread for a while. Just been going through some stuff. Drinking didn't get any better, actually got worse in the past 2 weeks but today is day 2 AF for me. Have just decided to stop for a bit instead of moderating. I don't know how long it will last but feel I just need a detox 1st because trying to moderate has been a nightmare for me.

@PositiveDays well done on Day 2.
Lots of people on here find it easier to have a break instead of moderating and I understand why. Just take one day at a time, and keep reflecting as you go. You'll find the way for you.

Well, sports event yesterday wasn't, as I'd predicted, a drinking occasion really. Not for me, anyway. I don't like plastic cups, it's not the same for me. Had 2 x plastic cups of wine but had a bottle when I got home. Didn't smoke and feel OK today.
Though @PositiveDays this is my point. I was doing OK moderating but I've still had just under 3 bottles over the weekend. And some beers. So, not doing well at all, really. Still too much. It all just gets on my nerves really. Sometimes I just think do what you want, but I know my health is too important.
Tonight after work dh and I are cooking Chinese and even though there are beers in the fridge, the wine witch is knocking.

Morning all! Started reading Alcohol Explained 2: Tools for a stronger sobriety (don't have the first one). A lot makes so much sense and also explains why my sleep has become so much better. I can't remember the last time I slept so well. Lovely deep sleep, going back to sleep very quickly if I get up (I always do, such a small bladder), can slightly remember my dreams when I wake up, so REM sleep back in force. In fact I have been reading about having a lot of REM sleep and think that I might be having REM rebound, as I'm getting a lot of dreams, and this can be caused by drug withdrawal. Apparently this will reduce once my overall sleep has improved and it's getting better every day. No way do I want to lose this quality of sleep. So motivation is strengthened.

@Amdone123 chinese sounds yummy. Don't open the door to the WW.
@PositiveDays I couldn't manage moderating in the end. Well done on day 2.
@Jbob1976 stay strong!

Well folks, that's my penny's worth for today. Will take a nice walk in the sunny but cool weather here. Ideal for walking, but going to take it easy today.
Sending, as usual, positive vibes and encouragement to everyone. Take care, stay strong and don't forget to love yourselves.

So, a bit of unpleasant news this afternoon & there goes my hard struggled 2 AF days! A bottle of red later, I feel a bit “calmer” but it hasn’t solved the problem has it. My poor liver! Why is it soo hard?

@PositiveDays I know - it's not easy. But you did 2 days af, you can do that again.
I drank last night, too.
I'm definitely af Wednesday and Thursday so join me ?

Thanks @Amdone123 I'm definitely joining you for Wednesday & Thursday. I'm awake now at this ungodly hour because of the WW. So frustrating

I'm awake too, due to a horrid cold tho. Don't panic @positivedays it's just a blip. Sorry you had some unpleasant news.

I had some red wine Sunday night despite feeling full of cold and having a sore throat. Force of habit and enjoyed the relaxing effect. Going to take some hard work to condition myself out of that habit.

Hope you get back to sleep soon.