New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

I checked the recipe for strawberry dacquri and you can use AF golden spirit. It's the equivalent of rum. It definitely exists in bars because seedlip make it so it's expensive.
Lime
Sugar surup
Strawberries crushed
AF rum over ice.
Garnish with a strawberry.

@livingalivelife that was a recipe for the wedding.
I bet it's available in cans x

Thanks for the recipe @WendyWagon sounds like a real treat.

I have always disliked pre-mixed drinks (whether in cans or those premixed cocktails in bottles) though I suspect it was because they weren't quite stiff enough for my liking 🤭

@livingalivelife there are a couple of mental prep exercises you could try, if you feel up for it.

The first is to come up with a list of your beliefs about champagne - you might perhaps believe it is glamorous, tastes good, makes you witty? And then make a list of the reality of what happens when you drink it. We are sold a lie about alcohol by society (a bit like the story of the emperor’s new clothes), and once you start to see through that lie it becomes much easier to resist.

The other, more fun one, is to think about your biggest sober “win” to date. Maybe it was just a Friday night that you didn’t give in, or maybe it was a social event. How did you feel before, during, after? Then imagine the best version of how Friday night will be if you don’t drink - mapping those feelings from your “win” onto your “best” version of the party.

I once did a really, really detailed thought experiment about drinking white wine in the sun, and realised it was actually the moment just before the first sip that actually made me happy- so what was the point in drinking?

oh my goodness ladies anyone else having crazy vivid dreams processing their whole life?

@livingalivelife s

sent too soon! @livingalivelife lots of good advice there. truly believe you can do this.

Morning all.
Nothing to report really.
I'm up with the dog.

@ponzusoup I did have vivid dreams but it was quite early. Some saucy involving film stars! 😄

Morning 🌅

D18 AF

Up at 5am to take dogs out and combine with today's run as I need to go into the office today 😟.

Realised yesterday that I need far less coffee to get through the day. So one small win so far.

@livingalivelife great advice. I will be returning to this a lot I think.

@ponzusoup I am dreaming such vivid dreams that I sometimes can't tell whether they were dreams or real. Is that something?

ooh sounds like it's a thing. @WendyWagon jealous. where are my saucy film star dreams??

@EastCoastDamsel kudos to a 5am wake up amazing ! what time do you go to bed?

I was asleep by 10pm, though I really wanted to be asleep by 9pm but I got caught watching 28 Days.

DH was out for dinner last night so I slept in the spare room so as not to

1. be disturbed when he got in
2. wake home when I got up.

I loved the vivid dreams! The do stop, unfortunately, but it felt like I had a free cinema ticket for a while. Some of them were strange (like the one where I was married to John Lennon of all people, and had to keep it a secret), but on the whole they were great.

@ShyMaryEllen the john lennon dream 😁

mine are more a deep freudian analysis of my life! rather jolting tbh. can i have one where im married to david bowie please?

Agh I personally HATED the vivid dreams. I'd wake up and feel a bit anxious, thinking "did that really happen?" Obviously it would only take a few seconds to realise it hadn't but for that short period it was similar to the feeling you'd get waking up after a drunken night, trying to piece it all together. Luckily (for me) they didn't last too long

I know! I've never had a thing for John Lennon - he'd be older than my dad, and even my mum preferred George Harrison😂

It was so vivid though. For some reason it was very important that nobody found out, and when I woke up it took ages before I fully accepted it was a dream.

We cross-posted. Yes, those dreams are different from normal ones, I think. Probably the brain rewiring or something. I did have to remind myself that they were dreams. There was one where I was a smoker (I'm not) and I checked my bag for cigarettes in the morning. I wish I'd written them down when I woke up, as I rarely dream these days.

@ponzusoup I definitely have the very vivid dreams! I actually had one last night that was a bit disturbing. It involved the dog and actually woke me up. I was very reassured that he was sleeping peacefully next to me, but it was most unsettling; it seemed so real.

Actually, I think one of the reasons I drank was to try and shut out the dreams. But that led to greater problems so, on balance, I'll take the dreams.

Maybe if I listen to the Labyrinth soundtrack while I go to sleep I might dream of Bowie... (though he needs to seriously rethink those leggings).

Strength and love to all. x

@REP22 i'll take him even in those leggings 🤣

know what you mean about really having to shake off that they are dreams. so very vivid

Hello 👋

Just checking in. 40 days sober today.

I have had a few vivid dreams, but thankfully, no really disturbing ones. No sexy ones featuring celebrities either sadly 😂

David Bowie would be nice or maybe Jeff Goldblum please subconscious!

@BigFatSoberLife congratulations on your 40 days, that's brilliant. 🏆

Alas, I don't really have celebrity dreams. It would probably be Owen Wilson for me (though I understand he's a bit of a sh-t in real life. There's a funny song on YT called "Tommy Made Owen Wilson Cry", hehe)

Congratulations on 40 days @BigFatSoberLife !

Just home and in bed after an evening watching some mediocre stand-up with DH. Was fun to go out and do something together but frankly, I would rather have gone to the cinema that this. It was long, and although some great jokes and top feminism (making most of the men squirm at some points) for most of the show I felt like I was trying really hard to find it funny.

Anyway another dry day under the belt.

Goodnight all

Well done on another night sober @EastCoastDamsel . I must say I have found comedy sober very disappointing! It’s not actually as funny as I thought it was - turned out I was just pissed 🤣. Theatre, cinema and music are brilliant sober - I get to pay my full attention all the way through, and have a less urgent need to wee - but I swear comedy gets less funny as the night goes on as they don’t need to try so hard for the laughs.

@Onewildandpreciouslife that's a bit depressing about comedy not being funny. I haven't actually been to a stand up since I stopped drinking but in the past it's been one of my favourite nights out. I have been to see a couple of comedy shows at the theatre on the past and while I can't actually remember for sure I don't think I would have had a drink because I CBA to queue at the theatre bar although might have gone for a drink beforehand. Definitely found the shows funny

I think really good comedy would be good regardless, but perhaps most stand-ups are just actually a little ... Shit? Also, I am NOT a prude but if you have to resort to really crass humour, or slagging off your kids on stage, I think you are scraping the barrel.

Day 19 today. 😀

day 54 here. am eagerly anticipating day 60 given the stories of what a milestone it is, but of course it won't bring a super brain and the body of a 21 year old over night.

i've yet to try sober comedy. reviving up to summer holiday is massively on my mind. pool sun sea and no cold beer 🥴