New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

I did that at the start. I stopped drinking when I first saw the GP, but had a (booked) holiday between then and seeing the consultant, and just wasn't ready to do it sober, so I didn't. When I got back I didn't drink for the week or two before was diagnosed, and kept two tallies in my head - the date of my last drink when I saw the doctor, and the date after which I didn't drink again - my last glass of wine in the airport.

After a while, when you start counting in months and then years, it really doesn't matter anyway. TBH, the day I saw the GP was the day my mindset changed, I think. The holiday was medicinal, in its way - it was too soon to do it and risk side-effects, but it would have been disheartening to start all over again when I'd already chalked up three weeks or so before going.

(and yes to channeling LA 😎)

Hello all
I'm sure this has been asked loads before so sorry, but my Husband has, after a weekend where he drank far too much and is feeling a little out of control with his drinking and the relationship he has with booze, decided to give himself a break and try to reset his relationship with alcohol.

He loves podcasts so please can anyone recommend some I could share with him?

Thanks so much ❤️

Hi @Mumofyellows 👋. He's taking a great first step.

The Huberman Podcast on alcohol and it's effects is really good for a totally scientific and non-judgemental look at what alcohol actually does to your body and brain.

Huberman Lab

Then I haven't really listened to a tin of others but the Reframe app is also a really fabulous app to with cutdown and quit tracks to join.

You may want to start your own thread to asking for advice a support on the board as you might get some more targeted/knowledgeable advice on your particular situation.

Or there is this thread as support for those affect by another's drinking that may also lend better support.

Good luck to you all

Thank you very much!!

Hi there. @EastCoastDamsel pointed me in this direction as I put a post on the weight loss thread about the frightening amount of weight I've put ON since giving up my wine habit. I was on 1-2 bottles a night.

Day 17 of no booze tonight. Looking forward to chatting!

Welcome @bornonvalentines . 🎉 So happy to have you join us on here.

I'm on D16 today so we're at a similar stage if the journey

PS I have lost one pound since quitting the booze. And I have started exercising again (was in a pretty deep rut since these start of the year - which was also the start of my ever increasing consumption. Although I was already a pretty thirsty drinker before that)

welcome @bornonvalentines i have bee. underwhelmed also by the lack of weight loss after nearly 60 days off the booze! but am middle aged and menopausal so maybe it's just going to take time. i'm trying to separate the two journeys so that i don't get annoyed with the sobriety if i don't lose the weight ...

anyway you are very welcome here it's a lovely brave honest and inspirational thread.

@Mumofyellows i like this podcast www.soberpowered.com/

it's also

( posted too soon) it's also very neuroscience based which appeals to me.

www.businessinsider.com/why-am-i-not-losing-weight-stopped-drinking-dry-january-2022-1#to-reach-a-healthy-weight-for-your-body-focus-on-self-awareness-and-self-care-9

this might be helpful too

Morning all.
Up early for the drive out to see my friend.

@bornonvalentines welcome.

As some of you know I've lost five stone since giving up the booze. In the first year i Iost less second year more. I used to eat crisps, cheese, curry when I was boozed up. I don't really eat cheese anymore. I manage one packet of crisps.
Some people need sweets to get through the first few months and then on tough days. It's the sugar we crave hence the headaches.
I was a very big girl but lucky to be tall and buying clothes from Italy and America on my work travels. I did use nutricheck.
Something my DS said stayed in my mind. If I just carry on I'll be finished for my big party next year. I have the frock. Sequined full length marine blue from bombshell. DS is my booze police. My drinking effected him. I ruined his twenty first. Long story I won't bore you all with my shenanigans but I started reading fortunes.

Have a good day my friends.

@WendyWagon how lucky we are to have you on this thread! you make me smile and you intrigue me with your life stories and fashion! have a lovely day dear.

shout out also to @REP22 hope you are feeling steady again you and your gorgeous doggo inspired me when i first joined this thread feeling very low.

Hello @REP22

It's so easy done. Well done for not hitting the fuck it button and drinking more (which may or may not be what I have done in the past)

Checking in today 39 days today

Morning all. D17 here.

How are you doing today @REP22 ?

@WendyWagon your dress for SIGNIFICANT birthday sounds amazing.

I do hope that a benefit of quitting will be at least some weight loss for me eventually. I have 2 stone to lose and I am peri-menopausal too. Really could do with losing it now before my hormones are completely fucked. I am not a big person and have a fine bone structure so the feel very matronly at the moment. 😥

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages - I am doing better this morning, but know that I would have really struggled yesterday without your support.

Sorry for monopolising the thread a bit yesterday - I really am thankful for your kind words and for keeping me going.

@Mumofyellows - welcome! I'm not much of a podcast person myself, but I have found the One for the Road podcast by Sober Dave quite good.

@WendyWagon 5 stone loss is amazing! Slimming World for me tonight and I'm heading towards my 4 stone sticker (we live for the stickers). You will look fabulous in your dress.

Re. the weight issues generally, I know it takes the body a while to adjust. There is a lot of sugar in some alcohol drinks, not to mention the mixers. I also replaced the cravings with chocolate milkshake at bedtime. It was the lesser of two evils. But I don't miss the effects of losing my dietary inhibitions when under the influence. Many an ill-advised takeaway ordered after-hours in times gone past. Clare Pooley has some good things to say about weight loss when getting sober - here are a couple of links to her blog: Mummy was a Secret Drinker: Reasons to Quit Drinking #1: Weight Loss and Mummy was a Secret Drinker: Before and After Pictures

Here's himself - sending his own cheery thanks for being so wonderful, all of you. ❤

Thanks for your welcome.

Hope everyone has a serene day today.

FWIW, I have heavily invested in alcohol-free "booze". I open a Heineken zero when cooking, and have a glass of McGuigan wine with dinner. Helps my brain cope.

I use AF 'booze' too, coming to eight years on (how did that happen?)

It copes with the habit side of stopping - even if the drinks don't taste the same at first, you soon get used to the new taste, and there is more of a range of AF drinks than there used to be.

Welcome @bornonvalentines and @Mumofyellows
i'm glad you are moving on positively @REP22

Guys, SOS, i need your help. Massive massive booze trigger event coming up for me on Friday. My DP's big birthday, a dinner in a lovely restaraunt, doubtless champagne (bete noir of me and @WendyWagon ). I need to start my mental prep now. Any tips to help me prepare and get through it would be most welcome. I'll be messaging from the loo inbetween course, but the hardest bit will be arriving and that first bloody glass of champagne - once i get past that should be OK.

Is it the two of you or a party?

If there will be a few people there, why not ring the restaurant and ask if they will serve AF fizz along with the real thing? There will presumably be drivers and other non-drinkers who might join you in an AF drink.

If it's just the two of you, it might be easier. Would your partner knock the champagne on the head this time, and stick to wine, so you're not sitting watching him drink something you covet?

Good luck. What I will say is that the more difficult situations you get through the easier they become. You have to train your sober muscles.

Hi @livingalivelife , I obviously don't have aton of experience in this our family event on Sunday was much easier to navigate as I told the hostess ahead of time that I don't drink anymore and as it happened there was a handful of other TTs there so she made sure there were some decent AF options available and that these were offered on arrival.
I like @ShyMaryEllen 's idea of ringing ahead and having a AF option available on arrival. If there is a group of you going I bet the driver's will all be very pleased 😀

@livingalivelife - I am probably not best-placed to advise at the moment... But telling yourself that you'd rather have the clear memories of a lovely birthday meal than the guilt, hazy memories of what you might have said or done, but you can't quite recall...

My own strategy is just to say "no" to myself, without any internalising arguments or justifications. And think how proud of yourself you will be the following morning/days. Look at the glass as though it was a loaded gun. Not worth playing with. If you were feeling particularly brave, you could ask for the champagne flute and wine glass to be removed from your place at the table as soon as you arrive and are seated (or move them over to a nearby empty table yourself), that way they won't be right in front of you, glinting evilly in your face. But I know that not everyone would be comfortable doing this. You could move them further away from you on the table, so they're not in your immediate line of vision.

Will there be someone there who also won't be drinking? They might be an ally. If not, let us know what time the danger zone is likely to be, if you want to. I'm happy to sit online for lavatory-based encouragement and solidarity. And we will ALL be with you in spirit.

I can DHL you some of my delicious antibiotics if you like... they're a lesson I won't forget in a while...😳

In all seriousness, it will be hard. But you can do it. I believe in you. xx

I 100% agree you should see if they can get a AF fizz in for you. Or if not would they let you take one? I think it will make the world of difference. You won't feel left out.