On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Mj20 that sounds like a lovely Friday night! Well done on being AF all week and a controlled bubbles.

It has been a long day for me to say the least 😂

@Mj20 I think that sounds good too. So long as I have a break and it seems to be about 6 days af though I wish I could skip a weekend. @Swannyb have a break from it now if you can. You'll be fine.

I drank last night. Again, 1.5 bottles and I smoked.
I won't drink this weekend.

@Swannyb ty, hope you sleep well tonight and feel brighter. @Amdone123 i also smoked! Ffs!!!! Literally been smoke free for 5 years don’t know why I’ve started doing it. Anyway I think we’ve both done really well! I’d also like to skip a weekend, but know it won’t be next weekend xxx

If the weekend is Saturday and Sunday, then I'm in the clear 🤣@Mj20 . Friday is officially a week day ✅
I'm so dense sometimes.

Ha ha so true @Amdone123 xxx

Hello all, still haven't really read through the thread since I've been away. Sticking to tea, water and a couple of AF beers, when I've had time to get some. I've been doing an awful lot of sport, mainly stair climbing.. so am fit. Am also pretty exhausted and looking forward to going home for a well earned rest.
Will be interesting to see what the scales say too. Hopefully gained a lot of muscle and not too much fat. Been eating too much bread. Hey ho.
Will be back to normal breadless life as of Wednesday. Just hope I can keep going AF. Have had a few cravings but ate chocolate instead. Which I don't really like, but had to get rid of the crave.
Wishing you all well. Stay strong.

Thanks @Mj20

Well I weighed myself today, I have lost 5 kilos since being back from holiday, no lager, crisps or bread so I must be doing something right.

@Touty that's great. Well done. I've put a pound on since Friday - that will be the prosecco Friday night and a bit of junk yesterday!

It's a tricky day for me today. Either stay in and declutter.....or go out for Sunday lunch. Lunch doesn't necessarily lead to drinking a lot, but it can do.

Well done @Touty !

@Amdone123 are you decluttering or lunching?

I was curious as to whether there was any sparkling chilling in the fridge 🙄 but turns out I drank it when I got home Friday, so that was a 4 bottle lunch! I don’t even remember drinking it.

Earlier today I was feeling a bit bored, but now it’s the evening, I can honestly say I’m so glad I didn’t drink today. I’ve been playing it forward and I look forward to getting up early tomorrow. I’ve already got my exercise clothes out ready!

@Swannyb 🤣 - that made me laugh.
I know what you mean about not caving, a lot of it is boredom. You'll feel great tomorrow.

I'm not bored today. I'm just really excited and a tad apprehensive ( grandchild due any day), so I'm wanting to eat out for that reason. I'm not particularly craving a drink. I'm antsy.
But, I could just as easily stay in and read.

So all week and weekend I have been moderating so this coming week hoping to go AF from tomorrow. I need to take back control of my life.

Well, I stayed in. I was all for going out but it's miserable here, cold, rainy, so we made lunch, watched films and read.
I'm glad really because I'm supposed to be trying to lose weight ( and I am ), but drinking just puts me back.
Also, had I drank, I'd obviously not be on form tomorrow.

@Amdone123 that sounds like a nice afternoon, and how exciting regarding grandchild!

@Needtokickthehabit I totally understand what you mean by taking ‘control’. This week I’m trying to focus on giving work my all as well as my eating/cooking, sleep, exercise etc. (and not revolving it around drinking or not drinking). I hope that makes sense…

Well, failed today, 2 lagers, a vodka and tonic and a packet of crisps. Now have terrible headache.

Morning all - I am back on it now, I didn't have a drink last night! I DID eat ALL the carbs though, probably due to drinking too much the two nights before. DH had one drink and I wasn't tempted to join him! I have now caught his cold so will resisting the urge to put a dash of anything stronger in my Lemsip later.

It's amazing the things my brain tells me to try and convince me to have a drink!

"You can't let DH drink by himself!"
"It'll help you sweat out the germs overnight"
"It's antiseptic for your throat!"
"It'll help you sleep!"

All clearly bollocks and I am glad I realised that at the time or my poor throat would be much more dry and scratchy and I would have more of a headache now!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart well done for not drinking. And yes, the excuses I use too ! So many.
I only had 1.5 bottles on Friday, that was day 6, so not too bad.
Hope you're feeling better soon.
I've just woke up - terrible night with my beloved - dog that is, not dh.
I'll post later when I'm conscious.

It's been two weeks since I posted last and I've had at least one drink every day of those two weeks - so I'm not really nailing this at all.

Naturally, all the other positive steps I made in other areas have unravelled a bit too...first step to getting back on track is posting here. Wish I could say it was not drinking tonight, but I'm not 100% sure my heart is in that statement. I won't have a drink until 7 pm - I'll commit to that.

Is your dog ill @Amdone123 ? Sorry to hear you had a bad night?

I'm going to have a lie down too now. Trying to read everyone else's posts and I'm just too tired to focus. I knew I had to just come on and break the run of not posting!

@Coppergate7 be gentle to yourself. I think this happens sometimes - it just runs away with us. Don't put any pressure on yourself or any negative thoughts. You're doing the best you can.
And just post your thoughts - you don't have to read everything all at once.

Err, dog is 9 and he has gotten a lot thinner over the past few months, though he's still eating loads. I think his eyesight is failing, too, as when I put treats down, he can't see them straight away. He doesn't like the rain and cold, won't come for a walk and has taken to peeing and the other in the house. He can't jump up onto the bed either so I'm lifting him up.
My ds took him to the vets last month but he needs to go back. It's just with the baby on its way and everything.
He's very happy though. Do you know anything about dogs ? I don't, never had one before. This one's not even mine ❤️

Bloody cold tonight and the man-flu is making me want a medicinal hot toddy - but I am being practical instead, as it might dehydrate me which will dry out my mouth and make my throat even sorer tomorrow! I'm up at 4.30am so off to bed soon anyway. Going to snuggle up with my hot water bottle instead.

@Amdone123 hope doggy is OK. I don't know much about dogs I am more of a cat expert.

@Coppergate7 posting here will help - it gives me the mindset of "I've said it so I have to do it now!" Totally get what you mean about everything else unravelling too!

Evening all!
just caught up on everyone’s news!!!!

quick update…. I drank half a bottle of champers Fri aw reported then two medium reds Saturday. I’d planned being A/f but we popped to the pub where I had one, then I bought a tiny bottle of wine (the one that’s a glass) and that was me done! Not bad, well moderated but I’d said I was going to be AF!!!! Have lots of lovely plans this weekend and am committing to NOT drinking so I can get the most out of them!!! Please someone hold me accountable 🤣 also I’ve lost 12 pounds this year… just a pound a month, but since a few drinks at the weekends I’m a couple of pound up and am determined to finish the year 12 pounds smaller!!!!

@Coppergate7 hello! So good to see you pop up! Be kind to yourself, these things do happen and you’ll get yourself on track I’m sure!!!! All here to support you!!!

@Amdone123 has the grandchild arrived? No wonder you were full of nervous energy!! Sounds like you played it forwarded!!!!! And did great!!! Hope dog is ok too. I think they just start losing the ability to jump as they get older, and our old terrier hates going out in the cold so also keeps going inside. Driving me mad! What sort of dog is it!??

hope your feeling ok @Freezingfeetwarmheart ?? Sounds like you’ve managed to really resist the temptations…. Despite the narrative of excuses our mind makes for us!!!!
also hello @Touty and @Swannyb hope your both ok!!!!!

shattered tonight! Cuppa, book and bed it is xxx

Thank you @Amdone123 , @Freezingfeetwarmheart and @Mj20 - really appreciate all your supportive comments❤.

I'm no expert but I've got an older dog (13), and we had a dog before that too (died at 13.5 - had more health issues than the current one) and also had two dogs as a child who died when they were both 19. My dog can't get on the furniture like he used too now, and he doesn't sleep on the bed anymore (too high for him without a step and he fell off of it a couple off it a couple of times so that was that - I took the step away. Basket on floor now at end of bed). He also can't see his treats straight away, and won't/can't (?) wait if I don't let him out as soon as he wants to go out. The current dog seems to be hungrier/greedier than he was (never was a greedy dog) but is maintaining his weight (he is a tiny dog though and has never had any weight issues either way). The dog before that was much greedier and had to be put on diets now and again - he had Cushings disease for the last few years, and towards the end of that he did get very skinny.

I think most of what you are describing is normal for an older dog - apart from the weight loss.

I had one glass of wine c. 7.30 pm whilst cooking dinner, and that was it. If I had more it would mean opening a new bottle and I lost interest after that (DH is away again otherwise the bottle would've just been opened - which is part of the issue I have, of course).

My feet ached from work and I was tired (& grumpy) - that was why I wanted to have a glass tonight. The reality is though that my feet probably wouldn't ache if I wasn't carrying so much excess weight (mainly wine calories) and I wouldn't be tired if I wasn't drinking and taking the ipad to bed every night.

I'm glad I'm back on here now. It really does feel like a step in the right direction again.

@Coppergate7 thanks so much for the information. I'll speak to the vet about the weight loss.
Well done for only having 1 glass. I think that's great, especially as you have wine in the house. I can't do that.
Keep trying, one day at a time. I do one hour sometimes.

No grandchild yet, and dog ( pomeranian) was much better last night so I've woken up refreshed and ready to tackle the day.
@Mj20 despite my age / menopause, I lose weight easily when not drinking. The minute I drink, it's back !
I've lost 5lbs in the last few weeks by just having 1 or 1.5 bottles a week.

On a sad note, dh's cousin died yesterday. He was only 55. He had not much of a life : drank every day, smoked, didn't work.
Not sure why I'm sharing, but I suppose it is a stark reminder that we have 1 body, 1 life, 1 shot at it.
Enjoy your day, folks, and keep smiling ❤️

@Amdone123 ty for sharing and so sorry to hear about your families loss. It is a stark reminder. Really helps with perspective!

thinking of you, and hoping grandchild arrives safely soon! Isn’t life a funny old thing! Take care xxx

ps amazing results on your weight loss. Xxx

That's sad news about your cousin @Amdone123 - you're absolutely right - we have just one life and it makes sense to make the most of it whilst we're here.

I have told myself I'm not drinking tonight. Whilst I was having lie down yesterday (thankfully don't feel the need today) I watched a couple of YT videos about alcohol but it was one of the comments that stuck with me. You've probably all heard it all before and whilst the sentiment is nothing new it still hit home.

I'm home alone tonight. Got loads of work to do so the plan is to sit up in my office most of the evening with the TV and essential oil diffuser on and get one with some of it done at a relaxed pace.