On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart sorry to hear your news. Don't worry about the alcohol intake for now. Do what you need to get through it.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart so sorry to hear about your cat. And please don’t feel like you’ve failed. It’s just a step along the path and we’ve all been there!

@Amdone123 the post title sounds good - your playing it forward advice has definitely been the best thing for me.

@Needtokickthehabit hang on there, even if it takes 100 day 1s, you’ll get there!

To everyone else wishing you all a good week. I’m still mostly moderating and avoiding the evil hangovers which just seem to get worse as I get older!

Morning, folks! ( very early - awake since 2am ish) 😩
I really wanted a drink last night. No particular reason but you know when it's all you want, just a glass or 2 of wine at the end of the day ?
I didn't because I wanted a good night's sleep (that never happened) - I told myself I could have 1 tonight if the urge still there.
Strangely, I don't think it will be.
Despite my insomnia, I'm actually in a great mood. Someone said their anxiety is much better when not drinking and that's so true for me. Even with this awful weather, I'm enjoying my days and looking forward. I don't actually need to drink.

Mood ✅
Finances ✅
Weight ✅
Energy ✅

I'm sure the 😴 will come !

Morning all!!!!
just catching up on the thread!
@Freezingfeetwarmheart so sorry to hear your sad news! Please don’t apologise for “failing”! You absolutely haven’t! As others have said… it’s a step in the journey!!!!!!
@Amdone123 yessss! Love the new title!!!! And I’m so sorry you’re not sleeping, but as you say it will come!!!! You sound so positive and like all your ducks are in a row! You’re smashing it!!!!

Things still ticking along ok for me! And for everyone who has mentioned hangovers/anxiety etc this is the exact reason I moderate/manage my alchol. Because it’s so detrimental to my mental health!!!!!

sending strength to all @Determineddoris @Bigbus @Hohofortherobbers @Illegallyblonder @Illegallyblonder @Needtokickthehabit @Swannyb
@Amdone123 @Freezingfeetwarmheart

hope I Diddnt miss anyone!!! Xx

@Mj20 thanks, I do feel really positive. My new jobs are helping me abstain / moderate. My dh wanted me to stay at home ( not in a controlling way !! ), but staying at home can be boring. And also leads to you know what.
Glad to hear you're ticking along nicely!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart how sad. We’ve had 2 cats die and it really affects you I know.

I was AF last night so today is day 9 AF in November. I’m happy with that.

@Illegallyblonder that's great, you're doing really well. I'm not sure what mine is....I'll go check.

@Illegallyblonder I think I've had about 11 af days. The 1st week in November was bad. 2nd weekend I only drank on the Saturday.
I'd love to have an af weekend as it gets my total af days up and makes me feel normal 🤣

Thank you everyone, I only had one last night which is very very good for me so I am counting it as a win!

Our girl came home with us for the night, I was up with her most of the night to give her fluids (and cuddles) but unfortunately she wasn't improving and this morning we took the decision to let her go. She had kidney failure. I could probably take the evening off work but actually think I'm going to go - will be a distraction from the grief at least. Just need to try not to cry.

I was also torn between having a drink then going to bed, and going for a run when I got in. I'm going to go for a run! Not quite sure who this person is typing this as the me of even last year would have dealt with this very diffently!

Ah I'm so sorry @Freezingfeetwarmheart - poor kitty and poor you. Good for you on going for a run.

I always know intellectually that a drink won't make a bad situation better but I'm not always good at following it. It does make you give less of a shit temporarily though! Sadly, otherwise we wouldn't do it!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart sending ❤️. Good idea to go for a run.
@Illegallyblonder yes, when I was stressed teaching, I'd often come home and drink. Now I'm lunchtime organising and I'm having more bad days than good days. Today was awful ( I'm only there an hour ! ) ; but I no longer think a drink will solve it. I'll just solve the problem another way.

Sorry for your loss @Freezingfeetwarmheart pets become such a huge part of our lives!!!! Hope you work is a good distraction and take care. Oh and last night was defo a win! Go you! @Amdone123 diddnt realise you were a teacher! But actually makes sense now as I see you in a really positive, leadership role!!!
@Illegallyblonder your smashing it!

im so tired tonight. Just off to walk the dog for 20 mins then Pilates! Not feeling it but it will brighten me up!!!!!

hope everyone has a good evening xxx

Sorry for your loss @Freezingfeetwarmheart .
Im AF, feeling OK, mildly tempted when I had to unexpectedly go to M&S this evening but held firm. Bring on Friday though

@Hohofortherobbers 🤣 same ! Mildly tempted but I'm just waiting for weekend. Got nice food, snacks in and looking forward to unwinding and having some wine. Friday will be day 6, so a decent break.
I'll start the new thread later.

Anyone who can start a new thread
Moderating or Abstaining....Play It Forward with Supportive People in a Safe Place
....and tag us all in ?!!!

I've got 10 mins until I leave and it doesn't help that I'm a 🦕
🤣

Still here, still abroad and still successfully doing AF November, will try to catch-up with the thread at some point. Sorry about the cat too. Going home next Tuesday so will catch-up sometime end of next week. Sending positive vibes and strength to all.

Hello, I’m still here. I went to see family in the UK then a short holiday and then back home to Spain. I drank alcohol and thankfully no major incidents. Now I really want to get back on the wagon, my weight has gone up and my mental health has gone downhill again. I don’t know why I feel so down with myself, well, there are reasons but I’m sure plenty of people are much worse off and have to get on with it.

Morning, all. How are we all doing ?
@Touty are you planning on abstaining til Xmas? I've been cutting back, walking more, working more and drinking more water and I've lost 5lbs over the last 4 weeks.
Ironically, that makes me happier than any alcoholic beverage.

I was wondering how people 'find' Christmas with all its temptations. Christmas is not my worse time - I like (d) to drink when no one else is ( strange, I know. Don't understand it myself either), so it was never that tempting to me. If anything, I drank less at Christmas. It's just 1 day. I don't go out or anything special.
It's just time off work and an opportunity to spend time with my grandchild.

Well, day 6 today and I've been waiting for Friday allllll week. I thought I was looking forward to having a drink ( possibly), but I feel more tired than anything.

Good morning everyone.
I have been lurking on this thread and getting plenty of inspiration and tips. I've managed to cut done and just wanted to share that I've found my trigger . If I can wait until DH gets in at about 7.30/ 8 I only have a glass. Well it's really working for me amd quite happened by accident when I had to have a cup of tea about two weeks ago rather than wine when I was preparing dinner. There was beer and I just thought ugg no thanks . Any way I've drink anything but wine until he gets home and literally halved or more the amount I'm drinking.
Plan to not drink in the week at all next but not quite ready.
Hope everyone has a good day

Hi there @Easterdaffsx thanks for sharing your tip. It's a great one. The earlier I start, the worse I get. If I wait, or even eat ( and it depends on who I'm with), I'm fine !

Well it's all gone to pot a bit for me after my unexpectedly awful week! Not going to beat myself up about it, just going to move my new weekend rules to next week - think I'm actually working at the weekend too so might not even drink then!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart yeah, definitely, it was a tough week for you. We can only do our best and you've got a plan, so that's good.

So, it’s Saturday morning here and I’ve pretty much been awake since midnight going back and forth to the bathroom after my friend and I drank 3 (!!) bottles of wine at lunch. My poor body (and bank account). 😞

Although this doesn’t count for yesterday, my trigger has been drinking at home. I never used to do it but I started about a year or so ago. We have one of those houses that is full of alcohol too.

I think/hope this is what I need to accept I must go AF for a bit. I cannot moderate right now.

It’s time to stock up on soda water and find some other ways to occupy myself.

Who else is going to go AF this weekend?

@Amdone123 thanks, yes iv been away 10 days and I’ve put on 10 pounds! I usually eat low carb which was difficult on holiday, I also drank lager which has loads of carbs!
I want to abstain now, drinking over Xmas doesn’t bother me and it’s fairly low key here anyway. So let’s see.

Hi all!!!! Just catching up!!!!

@Amdone123 @Hohofortherobbers@Freezingfeetwarmheart @Determineddoris @S0ber @Illegallyblonder how’s everyone getting on!

congrats on A/f @Nowstrong fantastic work! Hello @Touty, sorry to hear your feeling down, just remember your feelings are valid and situations are relative. And hello @Easterdaffsx sounds like a great way to limit!!! and @Swannyb hope your feeling ok…. So horrible when you feel physically unwell from it, take care today, hope you can rest and recharge?

so…. Despite having the best intention to have an A/F weekend I did drink last night!!!! Hubby had some good work news and bought a bottle of fizz! So we shared it! Feel ok about this as I effectively moderated! And no anxiety during the night…. Seems anymore than 2-3 and it happens! So that was 6 days A/f for me and one moderated! Quite pleased I was sensible yesterday as I have lots of work to do today! Annoying I’m awake this early, but this is the time my alarm goes off so I strugggle to sleep in. Anyway…. I won’t drink tonight so will aim for A/f till next weekend and then moderate again!!!!

All the best to everyone wherever you are in your journey xx