On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

Hello. Can I join. Have been drinking a bottle of wine a night - sometimes more - for about three years. Have tried to cut it out so many times.

Am allowing myself two bottles of beer during week nights now. It's not as good as giving up totally, but it stops me obsessing over being deprived and it doesn't effect my mood at all. Even I can do a bit better and feel a bit better, anything has to be better than one or two bottles a night.

Hi everyone. I drank on Friday and Saturday and Sunday and Monday so not as good as last week. But I didn't drink last night and I won't tonight or tomorrow night so it's salvageable I think. So far I'm on day 12 AF in November so it's an improvement from last month.

Sorry to hear your sad news @Amdone123

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast hi and welcome!
Yes, take some baby steps for now. Anything else sometimes feels too scary and not always realistic - a bit like on new years day when you're giving up drinking AND smoking !
I went through a phase of drinking a similar amount to you, possibly over the same time period.
I got off the treadmill - wasn't easy, and many setbacks, but I'm doing OK now. Maximum 2 bottles a week.
Post here for accountability and we'll support you ❤️

@Illegallyblonder thanks.
You're doing really well for November. So, you had a blip, it's ok - you're still doing it. It's a lot like being 'on a diet' to me. Sometimes you have a blip and say feck it, I'm having what I want but if you just carry on, it's better than being back at square 1.
I bought a bottle of nice wine yesterday and some sweet stuff for dh. I thought we could share it and have a chat about his cousin, but he wasn't really up for it.
So I drank it. ❤️

@Amdone123 Thanks for the support. I really need something like this thread. People in real life I either can't tell or don't quite get it.

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast oh yes !
My dh and dsis both say 'You're not THAT bad!'
Unfortunately, they're not in my head at 3am when I'm mortified and hate myself.
Also, I don't think it's a race to the bottom. If its affecting you in a negative way and you believe your life could be a lot better by moderating or quitting, it's our choice.

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast just wondering do you have wine in or do you go out for it ?
Thinking that your first step ( if you go out to buy it, as I do), is to avoid those places for now, or not take any money, etc
Beers don't affect me either, but unfortunately, I don't really like beer. Then, I miss the wine, etc.
I don't want to scupper your motivation but what about allowing yourself 1 bottle of wine at weekend, or would this not work for you?

@Amdone123 I drink in the house over dinner - that's when it starts. I'm going to allow myself some wine at the weekend and see how things go. I have been in control of things in the past, I've just completely lost my way and need to put new habits in place.

@Amdone123 sorry to hear the sad news.

@Coppergate7 Thats a really good quote.

Morning all! I'm back home and enjoying finding my own environment again. Been AF for 21 days; yay me! Unfortunately had dinner with one of my daughters yesterday and had some wine, totally forgot that I was doing dry November...(did I really forget?). Result : terrible night's sleep. Heart rate all over the place. Most probably snored my head off. Feeling dehydrated this morning and not very proud of myself as I was doing SO well.
Did a weigh in this morning and was shocked (and very pleased) to see how much weight I have lost. 3 kilos!!! WELL, back to AF I am. Especially if that is the result, plus need my precious sleep back.
Am going to try to get back into walking and my swimming routine. Must keep the physical activities up and stay AF for as long as possible. Now want to lose a few more kilos or at least pounds.
Been reading the thread, welcome to all the newbies, can't really remember who is who. Are you a happy grandma yet @Amdone123 ? Sorry for your loss and hope the dog gets better soon. Would love a dog but I travel too much, it wouldn't be fair on it to be passed around, either to other people or kennels, while I'm away. I keep saying that when I can't travel any more I'll get a dog.
Anyway, back to AF life and it's ups and downs. I am a bit mad at myself for last night, can't really understand why I just let myself drink. Plus my dreadful night's sleep is a very sharp reminder that alcohol is not good for me. Slight mishap there but I will continue dry November and do a couple of extra dry days in December, as a catch-up. Will also really try to moderate a MAX in December, or really try to go without. Can really see the difference health wise of being AF.

Hopefully will one day be able to not think about all this at all and just be a natural non drinker.
Hope everyone has a good day. Stay strong. Sending slightly guilty but positive vibes.

@Nowstrong welcome back and congratulations on the weight loss and the 21 days. Don't worry too much about last night. It happens so easily. It's probably because we have to think about it all the time ( at this stage), and it can become quite tiring. It's great though that you know what you want.
Just get back on it because it sounds like an af lifestyle is best for you all round. I've been losing weight too and that makes me happier than drinking.
Baby is due today. I'm praying for its safe arrival. Haven't slept much this week.
Dog is better thanks. I now have a Japanese style futon so he doesn't struggle to get on the bed 🤣.

Morning all. How are we all doing ? @Bigbus @Coppergate7 @Easterdaffsx @EnuffEnuffNow @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Hohofortherobbers @Illegallyblonder @Liverpool52 @Mj20 @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @Nowstrong @Swannyb @Touty @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast

Usual apologies!

Despite drinking on Tuesday (1 bottle), I haven't had any cravings past couple of days and this morning I realised it was Friday and I'm not too bothered about this evening either.
Still awaiting baby news ❤️
And meeting family members regarding cousin's death.
Mind is otherwise occupied really.

Do we all have moderating plans or abstention plans for the weekend?

I have a friend's 40th. Am not planning to abstain and I will have a few but just want to wake up feeling OK.

I have woken up every day this week without a hangover. It has been bliss. You know those fitness watches that show your resting heart rate when you sleep? Each night it has been 80 per cent of the night lower than resting. That's compared to when I have two bottles of red and my heart is racing all night.

@Amdone123 Sorry to hear about your cousin x

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast that's a good plan. When I want to drink but still take it easy, I make sure I eat and also drink sparkling water as much as I can ! I have to take those small bottles so they're on hand. It works though. I drink them when I'm waiting for drinks or food to arrive.

Failing dreadfully :(

Hello! Happy to say that I'm back into my good habits. Walking today, will go back to the pool on Monday. AF life back to normal. Drinking herb tea and chocolate infusion, my latest discovery. Bit chilly to have AF beer, as I like it very cold, so will have to find a replacement. Perhaps tomato juice....Open to any suggestions.

Tonight going to the cinema. Saturday, walking, Sunday too, plus birthday cake for one of my granddaughters, 19, makes me feel ancient.
@Amdone123 hope the baby arrives soon, might be a girl who's taking her time before presenting herself to the world 👸. Whatever arrives, just wishing that mother and baby are well.
Wishing you all a good day and weekend, stay strong

happy Friday all!!!!!
hope everyone is well!!!!
just caught up on all the news!

firstly @Coppergate7 i LOVE that little saying, and how true it is! This weekend I am playing it forward (ty @Amdone123 for my new motto) and not drinking with future happiness in mind!!!

Have been moderating really well! But this weekend could just do without the mental maths of moderating and just want to take care of myself a little. That time of the month, but also have loads on, work/Xmas shopping/etc and don’t need that low energy/disrupted sleep!!!! I’m day 6 today and plan to make it till at least next Friday sober!!!!

what is everyone else thinking????
@Nowstrong sounds really positive, don’t be hard on yourself! Focus on the wins- as that’s the over arching theme! @Amdone123 sure you will moderate/manage as you need to, your very good at this! And please let us know when baby arrives! Sounds like you’re making progress @Illegallyblonder and welcome @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast youve got this and plenty of support here!!!

@Needtokickthehabit are you ok??? Sometimes we see things very negatively and it’s not all doom and gloom! Hope you can share and get some perspective/support etc. Here if you want a chat, take care xxx

hope everyone else is ok! Won’t tag all as we are ever growing and this post is long enough! But sending love and strength to all, whatever your goal!

No wine for me tonight. It's too cold. I've got hot chocolate instead.

Evening I am not doing great, I drank both of the last two nights, for medicinal purposes to stop the shivers as I still have the man-flu 🙄

Feeling a bit better today though, amd am on night shifts the next 3 nights though so having the weekend off to make up for it - drinking at work is frowned upon so I should be OK!

Evening all, 4th day of no booze, I am grateful for the short dark nights this time of year, less temptation. I find that if I eat my dinner earlier the craving goes away.

@Amdone123 and @Touty funny how the cold weather is less tempting!!!!
and well done @Freezingfeetwarmheart for the AF intention for this weekend xx

Morning all, avoided a drink that I really fancied last night, had hot milk instead.

The problem I'm having at the moment is that I feel really anxious at times. Heart rate going a bit mad. All this started after having wine the other night. I know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me physically, it seems to be a bad case of hangxiety, but delayed. Will have a long and chilly hike this morning, we've had a dusting of snow overnight here. It always helps to clear my mind.
Obviously I know that since Wednesday evening there is no alcohol left in my organisme, plus I've been drinking plenty of liquids since. Strange. Another sign for me to take on board, that drinking wine (or other) really doesn't do me any good. I'm perhaps having a bad case of feeling guilty and my brain is forcing my body to react to "punish" me. Knowing my brain, wouldn't be too surprised. Will have a chat with Mr. Freud.
Wishing you all a pleasant day, keep warm and stay strong.

Thanks for tagging me @Amdone123 and I’ve been reading back through everyone’s news. It’s so good to have this thread. I’ve been middling I would say. Days I drink have crept up but I’ve not been drunk and I’ve been on a couple of nights out and to a family party without getting wrecked or embarrassing myself which is all good! I do need to work on more AF days though.

@Bigbus yes, it's a difficult month for gatherings but if you can do as you've been doing ; not getting drunk etc, then all good. I know what you mean about gathering a few af days. I note in my journal the next, say, 2 weeks and set myself a mini target.
@Mj20 oh yes, the weather. My dream was to live in a warmer climate. Probably good it didn't transpire, as I'd not be very healthy!

I've woken up with a headache, sore throat, the lot - I feel hungover. Hate it when that happens.

@Touty I'm the same with food. Yesterday I had a very big lunch as I'd skipped breakfast and drinking didn't occur to me really.