On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Mj20 morning!
I don't feel too bad either, probably because I ate and I wasn't smoking.
I really want to be af this weekend. I know I can do it Mon to Thursday but I think I'll struggle for the weekend.
I'll have a go though and of course being on here helps.

@Amdone123 lets try together!!!! I’m the same as you! Fine till the weekend!!!! Safety in numbers 🤣🤣🤣
I also smoked last night! I wondered if that sparked my anxiety (no pun intended)!!! I’ve been smoke free for 5 years!!!! But recently when I have a drink I smoke! Which the next day I feel awful for!!!!!

Good morning all.

We had a day out in one of my favourite cities yesterday, walked around in the lovely bright weather and had a few halves over a course of a several hours. Got home and had some cheese and crackers with some red wine . When the bottle was finished and DH asked if I wanted a cider I said....

No thanks! Watched TV for bit more and then went to bed and had a great night's sleep (weird cheese induced dreams aside 😂). I've woken up this morning naturally and hangover free and been a whirl wind around the house just sorting stuff that will make life so much easier next week once work starts again.

I'm a little pleased with myself that I've managed to go out and not go stupidly overboard. Fully intend to be AF Monday to Thursday next week. And this thread is hugely helpful. So huge thanks you to all.

As a dear old friend would say ON! ON!

Hi all. Checking in for a bit of accountability. Sorry I haven't posted sooner. It's great to have such a warm and welcoming group, where I can actually be totally honest about this struggle.
So, on a positive note I managed AF from Mon to Wed, only one drink on Thursday, and a few drinks on Friday (g and t, a cider, and a couple of prosceccos).
Not so great was that those few drinks on Friday meant I had a terrible night's sleep and it totally wiped me out Saturday morning. So yesterday then became an AF day. I've still got two thirds of a bottle of prosecco left, not sure what will happen to that at the moment, don't really want to drink it. Hopefully use it in cooking.
So, aiming to remain AF until Thursday, then moderate next weekend.

Hi everyone, sorry to everyone who was awake in the night, I know the feeling.
I was AF last night because I’ve still got a cold so that’s 6 days AF in November so far. I’m not sure about today yet. I’m pleased with that though.

@Illegallyblonder , that's good going. Just take it one day at a time. @Monstercarp that sounds OK, really, except the Saturday morning rubbish feeling. I'll be af now til Friday definitely. @Liverpool52 well done for not going overboard. It's a good feeling, probably because you feel in control, which I know sounds obvious.
I need to get moving. Not hungover but not productive either 😩

Oh, here I am again. It’s Monday and I barely slept and I am annoyed at myself for going (really) overboard this weekend.

I am okay that I drink regularly, it’s the volume that is not okay.

It is hard to not beat myself up but moving forward I have no reason to not be AF Mon - Thurs but already a bit worried what next weekend will bring.

Hope everyone else did better than me 😂

Morning @Swannyb , well, I didn't drink and I was awake most of the night ! I've just woke up.
Concentrate on Monday to Thursday now af, then worry about the weekend when it's here. I am doing exactly the same.
I really don't want to drink Friday and tbh, I managed it this weekend and it was lovely.
So, I'll take some motivation from that.

Morning all. I did drink last night so not ideal. I'm now not going to drink until Friday. So I think over the past week I've had 33 units. I know that's more than recommended but it's better than I was doing so I'm relatively happy with that. I'd prefer it was a bottle less if I'm honest, which would take it down to 24 units for the week.

I was so bad at the weekened I am so ashamed of myself.

TOday is my day 1. Again.

@Needtokickthehabit sorry to hear that. You can't change the past, as I often tell myself, all you can is deal with today. I hope you're ok.

@Illegallyblonder keep going. Decrease your intake bit by bit, and you'll get there. You're still doing really well.
@Needtokickthehabit keep trying. I know it's hard but try to bat away those negative feelings. They don't help you, they just make you feel worse.
Get today done ✅

I've just done an online shop, it did cross my mind to order wine, but I know deep down its not the best idea. So, vimto it is !
Hot vimto is actually a really nice drink 🤣

Hi, mind if I join in?
I'm trying to cut down as I've been drinking most days - between 1 and 4 glasses of spirits that I don't measure so no idea how much but I can easily polish off at least a bottle of whiskey a week which can't be good for me.

I started a new job in July which I found very stressful and I used that as an excuse to drink more (I had been doing OK with moderating before that) and it's been creeping up ever since.

I've now decided it's not worth the stress and ditched the job before I have a heart attack! Now doing a much less stressful job with a slight pay cut - am hoping cutting down on drinking will make up for the difference in pay.

I have decided from now that I am only drinking on weekends. And so I don't try and make the excuse to myself I did last night that Sunday is a weekend day - that means Friday and Saturday nights, amd only with DH!

I work shifts and DH does normal Mon-Fri hours, we went through a phase at one point of drinking on each other's "weekends" as well as our own which sometimes ended up being pretty much every day - so I need to specify I think!

I am just leaving work now and am not going to have one when I get in however much I currently fancy one!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart 👋 and more than welcome to join us.
It was strange for me reading your post - my mum used to drink whiskey - she'd drink a bottle a week. When she died, we donated many of her organs, including her liver ! She always had really cold hands, too. We used to say, Cold hands, Warm heart ♥
Anyway.....it sounds like you've done quite a lot if reflecting there, including identifying that trigger of stress.
Friday and Saturday is what most posters here do, so you're in good company. It can still be difficult as you've acknowledged there, that you could have had one last night.
Strangely ( again!), I've got a seed planted in my head that I want to drink tomorrow. No idea why. I use this thread for accountability which helps me enormously.
I will NOT drink today !
I'm sure you can get to Friday - what will you do when the urge comes along ? Do you have af drinks in ?
Do you only drink spirits ?

Morning all!!!
Great catching up on how everyone is doing!!!
All ok here, feeling more energised and content after a couple of A/f days, and more importantly A/f nights and some decent sleep!

sorry to hear @Swannyb and @Needtokickthehabit feel they over did it, but as others have said…. Don’t be too hard on yourselves… try and focus on some positives… eg slowly cutting Down or the Af days you do achieve!!!! @Illegallyblonder sounds like your making good progress, so as @Amdone123 says focus on that!!!!! And hello @Freezingfeetwarmheart youll be in good company here. Loads of us aim for alchol free week and sensible (ish) weekends! As well as periods of abstaining or just generally cutting/minds rating!!!!
and @Amdone123 since coming back on the thread I’ve really noticed a shift in you. You always did really well but now your will power seems off the charts! Please keep sharing your thoughts as I find it motivating!!!! And it’s a good idea about the thread for accountability!

My current intention is to do my usual AF week but also the weekend, for a reset!!!! Feeling fine at the mo as it’s the start of the week!!!! Just need to keep it going!!!

Hope everyone’s having a great week xxx

Well yesterday was my day one. I didnt sleep last night but that of course means it will be easier hopefully to sleep tonight.

@Mj20 ahhh thanks for your kind words, so motivating for me. I have been doing really well in the past few years. Before this thread I was spiralling and pretty much out of control.

The thing that works best for me is playing it forward. Thinking about how horrible I'll feel the next day and how difficult it will be to get through the day.
Good to hear you've had a couple of af days and the sleep benefit is great. I haven't slept well the past 2 nights, but nothing to do with drinking. I'm hoping for better this evening.
I can't see me doing the weekend af. I'm going to struggle today, and it's only Tuesday.
One day at a time - sometimes, one hour at a time.
I don't want to feel ill tomorrow so I'll take my own advice and put a plan in action.

@Needtokickthehabit well done on Day 1 ✅.
I think I'll have a nice bath when I get home from work, then in bed for an early night.

@Amdone123 thanks for the welcome, like your mum any test results I've had have always been fine and a consultant once told me my liver is perfect!
I have however been diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy in my feet which means they are always freezing, sometimes to the point of being painful - and when they get really bad sometimes the only thing that helps is a glug of whiskey or rum in a mug of warm cordial. I am trying to find other solutions and have invested in some battery powered heated socks!

@Mj20 thanks for the welcome, this does seem a lovely supportive thread.

@Needtokickthehabit well done on day one!

I didn't drink last night so I suppose I have done day 1 too! Didn't sleep great and had to get up early as have a poorly cat to take to the vet then working this evening. I know I would be feeling so much worse if I'd had a drink last night.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart no problem. Great that you're looking into af solutions for your painful feet. ❤️
And yes, had you drank you'd definitely be feeling worse. That's how I feel today, groggy but at least it's better than being hungover.

Thanks @Amdone123 and @Mj20 . I’m focusing on moving forward but you’re right, there is no need to start worrying about this weekend either - I’ll deal with that when it comes.

I am committed to being AF Monday - Thursday. I feel so much better today than yesterday and had a much more productive day. As @Amdone123 says, play it forward!

I look forward to another good night sleep with freshly clean bedding as a nice bonus 😃

@Amdone123 @Swannyb @Freezingfeetwarmheart playing it forward should be our new motto! I love it!!!! And it’s so true!!!!!!

stay strong everyone! We’ve got this! Xxx

I was thinking through the night, shall we keep the old one or have a new title. ( I think of alsorts when I can't sleep).
Answers on a postcard 🤣

Drumroll....what about...
Moderating or Abstaining, Play It Forward with Supportive People in a Safe Place.
Da dahhhh
🤣

So sorry, I have only just joined this thread and am going to fail on day 2, so posting anyway to hold myself accountable. The news from the vet is a lot worse than expected and we may be losing our lovely little cat - she is in kidney failure and still there having fluids at the moment and if she doesn't turn a corner this may be our last couple of days together 😿

Sorry about your cat @Freezingfeetwarmheart , I hope she is comfortable and improves
I managed only 2 out of my 4 pledged days last week. But feeling more resolute this week. My cold is resolving slowly but I slept for England last night having been AF. Committed to stay AF til Friday. The depth of sleep I get when AF is glorious!! I also feel so much less anxious when I haven't been drinking. I MUST try to remember this, good luck people.