On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

I very much doubt I will be anything like as productive as you whilst DH is away @Amdone123 ! It does make quite a few things easier though...and some harder, of course (I remember how at some point).

Ugh - sorry you're feeling so rough @Hohofortherobbers - hope you feel much better soon💐

Well done @Nowstrong !

So, last night I noticed there was a half full bottle of wine in the fridge. I considered throwing it down the sink but...nah. I poured a glass. I don't regret it at all because I managed to stop at one! I enjoyed that one. I'm saving the other one for after I've picked up DS at 8 pm. I definitely won't buy more wine though (didn't even cross my mind in the supermarket earlier). I also really like putting on how many glasses I had on my planner - helps to stop at one rather than have a f* it approach.

@Coppergate7 that's good. There are times I can have just 2 glasses, other times not so much.
I'm trying really hard now to not drink til Saturday. I'll have had 5 af days if I can do that. I think I can do it, I'm busy with work, the money I saved is slowly decreasing with Xmas expenses, birthdays ( and I don't even buy that much), so I'm not even sure I can afford it !

Evening all 🧡 just catching up on everyone’s news! I must say it’s lovely to be back!
my intention is to stay committed to the group through the ups and downs! As I do love it, but just fall out the habit!!!

@Amdone123 its lovely to hear your reasoned perspective again. And I hope you’re doing ok, albeit the personal problems.
@Determineddoris ahhhhh what an amazing success…. You’ve done fantastically!
mots funnu you pointing out how well I did at the start of the year as actually the rest of the year has carried on in a very similar way, but I kind of forgot 🤣 I suppose because I got use to it!!!! Friday was the first time I’ve felt tipsy in a long time and I guess it just set me in a spin…. Wondering if I’m ruining all my hardwork!
@Hohofortherobbers lovely to reconnect! And I’m sorry your poorly! Get well soon! I’ve just got over a vile flu! @Coppergate7 sounds like good progress!!!!
well done to @Nowstrong your post resonated!!!!!!
And sending love to the person having relationship issues!!! Sorry not familiar with all the names yet!!!! And more apologies if I missed anyone xxx

so after my bottle of red on Fri, I’ve been A/F! Know I will be fine up continue that way till the weekend but prob will want a glass or 2 at the end of a busy week! But just thinking I’d like to limit it and not get carried away! (Not that a bottle is a lot but it just takes the edge off my peace and joy the next day)!!!

anyway! Excuse the essay! Xxx

Forgot to say @Swannyb hi!!!! Lovely to see you still on the thread too! Sounds like you’re doing great. Loved reading about the self care Friday last weekend xx

Been lurking on this thread for a while but finally plucking up the courage to post after a two day bender which ended in me doing something incredibly stupid last night.

Really can't wait to go to bed tonight and not wake up with a hangover.

Hi everyone, please can I join you? I want to drink less and moderate but not give up completely.

I'm a white wine drinker and my aim is to not drink at all Monday to Thursday and only drink 3 bottles of wine over a weekend. I know that's still technically over recommended limits but I don't care, I think I'll be doing well if I achieve that.

I'm an emotional drinker and use it to escape from stress. I've had several major bereavements in the past couple of years and issues with my family plus I lost my job earlier in the year and have had issues with my marriage. So I've definitely self medicated for all of that. Whilst I intellectually realise it really doesn't help it feels like it does at the time.

So far this week I haven't had any alcohol at all. I drank a bottle of wine last Sunday over lunch and the following 6 hours but nothing since. Last week I didn't drink on 2 days and only had 3 glasses of wine on another 2 so I think all of that is positive. Thanks for listening if you've got this far!

@Liverpool52 hi and welcome.
You're in the right place to evaluate your intake and also in good company regarding the stupid things we say and do under the influence. Mine are so embarrassing. But, put it behind you now. You can't undo it, you can only do better in the future.
I feel like you too, when you can't wait for bedtime. I think everyone on here would say that a good night's sleep is one of the best things about cutting back.

@Illegallyblonder hi and welcome to you, too. Sounds like you've been through the mill ❤️
I understand the still wanting to drink. We're very similar in that way. I aim for Monday to Thursday too. It sounds like you've made a start so good for you.

I had a rubbish yesterday but strangely wine wasn't on my mind. I wanted bed, a hot chocolate and my dawg.
Really trying to not drink til Saturday - I actually think I can do it.

@Amdone123 thanks for the warm welcome, much appreciated. 🙂

Same @Amdone123

I was walking home from work this evening and thought should I buy wine ? I really fancied one. Then I remembered I'd deliberately left my purse at home. I only had my house keys and phone on me.
It made me think of the various tricks I've got up my sleeve to avoid buying wine ! It's so easy to pop in a shop on the way home. And I'm so glad I'm drinking tea now.
Also, was thinking about Friday night and how I really don't want to drink, because I'm going out Saturday. I've told dh to bring fish n chips home for tea.
No way would I drink after that.

Hello all. I haven't been on this thread for ages (in fact I think it was the last one!) - maybe when I was just a couple of weeks dry. I was under a different username. I explained how bad things were and everyone was wonderfully supportive. Thank you.

I wanted to pop back today as I've hit 100 days - hopefully that can encourage those of you who are at the beginning. I never thought it was possible.

It's been a wild 100 days. I spoke on the old thread about how I thought I'd been drinking to numb feelings and bury problems. It really woke me up. In the 100 days my partner and I have split and he's moved out. A seven year relationship done. I want better for me in every aspect. So it hasn't been an easy 100 days!! Tough in fact.

Here are some things I did. Maybe some of it will help you.
I drink non alcoholic drinks a lot! Lager, nosecco... It's helped me feel part of things when I've gone out. I know it's not for everyone but it's helped me.

I've driven social plans - asked friends if they fancy doing things that don't involve alcohol.

I went to an AA meeting. It wasn't for me but I'm glad I tried it.

I confided in one friend about how bad things got. It helped she suddenly realised she had a problem with something (not booze) within a day of me starting. We've been cheering each other on and counting the days together. That one person consistently checking in on me has helped.

I started to tell people I'm taking a break from booze for accountability.

But I haven't committed to never drinking again. To say I never ever will again feels too scary. But I'm just not doing it today. And tomorrow probably.

I started to refer to booze in my head as 'drugs'. So whenever I think I need a drink (and there have been many days) I say to myself 'I want to injest a load of drugs tonight to get off my face. I'm sad and I want them . If I do take these 'drugs', will it help and how will I feel in the morning? Will I regret it?'

I have indulged in caffeine! And I allow myself delicious sweet chocolatey coffees. It's filled a gap.

Anyway, well done to everyone. I don't know if any of that is helpful. Thank you for your initial support and I'll check back in occasionally xx

@Amdone123 you have the cleverest little tips and hints to moderate! Like not having your purse! I really admire your perseverance and your commitment. Intresting how in the hard times you reach for comfort, not booze, that resonated as a few years ago it would have been the latter for me!!!!

@S0ber your story is inspiring! Ty for sharing!!!!
and hi to @Illegallyblonder, sending strength, sounds like a tough time, you’ll get lots of support here! And hi @Liverpool52 !!! I know the feeling of stupid things done whilst drunk very well! But as @Amdone123 says be kind to yourself and move on! It’s done now!!!!

all well here with me. Busy week so tired and distracted!!!!!

hope everyone else is ok xxxxx

It’s so nice to catch up with everyone. I’ve been managing to moderate and avoid the dreaded hangovers. I even measured my 175mls of wine tonight (but only because I’m trying to do SW properly again).

@Liverpool52 i joined this thread after getting really drunk and doing something really stupid that took me ages to get over and still can’t really write it down. This thread has helped me loads. I hope it helps you too.

Welcome to all the other newbies and returners. Please do share as much as you want to. There’s never any judgement here, only support

Morning, all !
@S0ber congratulations on your 100 days and thank you so much for your inspirational post - I love all those tips and thoughts of yours.
A friend of mine who's been af for a while said she cried the first 3 months - it's definitely not easy !

I woke up so refreshed and feeling happy this morning. Such a contrast to when I've drank, even if it's 'just' 1 bottle. Sometimes I kid myself I'm ok, when I'm actually not ( hungover wise).

@Mj20 thanks, I do have lots of tips - I also have lots of excuses. Here's 1. It's Thursday today. I know I don't want to drink tomorrow. The Old Me would say, Drink tonight ( whether wanted or not), then you won't drink tomorrow. Crazy 🤪

Have a great day, everyone and I think @S0ber is spot on, saying put something good into your body, something else to make you feel good. It is a drug - it makes us feel crap for a reason.

Hi @Liverpool52 & @Illegallyblonder

@Illegallyblonder I have a similar goal to you - remain AF Mon - Thurs. Also a white wine drinker 👋 Ideally I’d like to be only two nights a week but I can’t do it so I’m going to try for 3 initially.

So, I’m not sure what’s happened here but I drank Tuesday and had an absolute blinder of a lunch yesterday! But, you know what, I wasn’t hungover from either day and the drinking was in good spirits and not for negative reasons so no regrets. However, I’m determined to stick to my guns and as I’ve already had 2 drink days, I only have one left for the weekend. 🤞🏻

How is everyone else’s week going?

Thanks for such a nice welcome. So today is day 4 AF this week assuming I don't drink tonight which I definitely won't. I think if I can stick to 4 days AF in the week and drink at a reasonable rate at the weekend I'll be happy. I slept for ages last night so that's good!

@Illegallyblonder that's a great start, well done.
@Swannyb sometimes it just happens, no rhyme nor reason 🤣
At least you've got a plan now for the weekend.

I've just discovered coffee ( those 3 in 1 things) with a dash of toffee syrup. Lovely. Probably people already do this, but I'm always 10 steps behind everyone else.

Morning ! How are we all doing?
@Hohofortherobbers hope you're feeling better.
Well, day 5 here and a tricky day for me but I'm determined not to drink.
Last night walking home I was thinking sod it, I'm going to have 1 bottle of rose and buy some soda. Conveniently forgetting that 1 bottle still leads to smoking ( and hangover) and that I haven't bought soda to go with wine. Ever.
And I have to go to the supermarket ( only for 2 things, so I'll be in n out, hopefully).
Home to a nice bath, fish n chips and another good night's sleep. I slept so well last night.

Hi everyone. Well I've done 4 days AF this week and that was my goal so I'm happy with that. I will drink a bottle of wine or less this evening and I'm fine with that too. Happy weekend everyone.

@Illegallyblonder that's great. Well done. I think once you get a few days af behind you, it can become easier. Also, having the confidence is a big thing I think. Self belief.

I'm pleased, too as I didn't buy wine !
I've had fish n chips, a nice bath, gave myself a pedicure and I'm now sat in bed with the dog.
I've had a lovely evening and not a drop of wine in sight 😇

Good evening everyone. I hope you’re all having a nice weekend.

@Amdone123 and @Determineddoris do we need a new thread soon? Not sure how many pages we can have?

Hi everyone! @Amdone123 @Determineddoris etc feeling pretty rubbish! Drank more than intended….. now awake middle of the night with a racing heart and mind!!!! Had one large glass of red and one medium at the pub…. Then 2 glasses of fizz when home! Nothing really, but felt quite drunk and therefore having the same effect as when I use to drink more…. Hence the middle of the night worry!!! Forcing myself back to sleep now… and hoping to feel better when I wake.hope everyone else is ok xxx

@Mj20 , hi ! You didn't have that much but I know what you mean. Actually, as I get older, a couple can keep me awake now. Try not to worry and I honestly think it's really hard to force yourself back to sleep. Do you read ? Sometimes I have a bath - I have a very understanding husband !
In summer when I can't sleep, I get up and do alsorts. Winter, I feel trapped.
I went out and don't remember getting home. I remember the restaurant but couldn't tell you what I ate.
@Bigbus how do we start a new thread. Shall we call it something different? I'm easy, s'long as we're all still here 🤣

Thanks for the reply @Amdone123 sorry you’re awake at this time!!!! you are right! Can’t force myself back to sleep! Despite trying! That’s good advice about reading! So sillu as so tired but just can’t get back off and feel mildly anxious! Tbf tiredness has always been terrible for my mental state.

Hi again all!!! Just a little update from my messages during the night. Once I stopped trying I did fall asleep!!! Can’t say it was a brilliant sleep! But I slept! And I’m ok this morning! Not hungover or anxious!!!!! So strange how I woke up like….so I’m just going to be kind to myself today and take it steady, with some reading and chores and a nice roast dinner etc!!!!
although I’m enjoying being a bit more flexible with my drinking and moderating instead of being tee-total… this week I’m going to aim to be completely A/F inc the weekend! Just give myself a little reset 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

how is everyone else doing??? @Determineddoris @Amdone123 @Bigbus @Coppergate6 @Coppergate7 @Hohofortherobbers @Liverpool52 @S0ber @Illegallyblonder @Swannyb
hope I got everyone!!!