On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

I started a new job as a gardener recently which is knackering, so by evenings I'm wiped out and def not capable of cleaning!

Hi everyone - im now on day 8 AF so early days. So far ive not had the usual urge to drink which i dont really understand - but perhaps my body is trying to tell me something!

the weekend looms with my DD and partner coming and we are going out for sunday lunch to a very good gourmet pub so i dont know how i will dare there - but i will be driving so hoping that means i dont even have one glass.

good luck to everyone.

@bilbodog , you are doing so well !! Keep on. Well, you can't drink if you're driving, so that's another day !
You can do it - I hope you're seeing some benefits?

@colouringindoors , am loving the gardening job. That'll keep yer busy. Well, no cleaning for you when you get home - a nice bath, some hot chocolate and some snacks !

Oh thanks @Amdone123 I started last summer. I'm currently panicking I've made a bad decision. Praying that also improves with less alcohol! Told my teen dcs I'm not drinking on a schoolnight and they will def tell me off if I do! Sat on sofa with a Coke Zero...

@bilbodog good luck with the pub situation! I am finding 0% lager is a good alternative...

@colouringindoors
thanks for that tip - ill update after the weekend

I have some 0% beer and some Nosecco which isn’t actually all that bad! I had two glasses tonight so that’s ok. I’d like to aim initially for two bottles a week split over 3 or 4 days then go down from there. Two bottles is better than 4 or 5 bottles a week or more which I have been on in the past.

I've had alcohol 2 nights this week. Really wish I hadn't! I know I will have an AF weekend but really wish I'd made it a whole week.

Morning all, hi @mj20, wow aren't you doing well!! I've been AF Mon to Thurs, thinking of having a drink this evening.

@Hohofortherobbers , well done on your af days. If you have a drink tonight, that's not too bad.
I drank yesterday. Didn't eat much. Don't feel great today but a 3 hour hike should blow the cobwebs away.

Morning @Hohofortherobbers lovely to hear from you!!!! you’re still doing great too! I think it really is finding the happy medium…where I’m not fully AF but also not over indulging! I will be having a drink (or 2) tonight but being mindful! @Amdone123 thats the balance right there! A good hike will defo blow out the cobwebs!!!! Enjoy xxx @Determineddoris how are you???

@Bigbus @Manyrivers @bilbodog enjoying reading your journeys and wishing you guys all the best for the weekend!!!!!
xxx

Friday Night coping Tools:

Power ballads on Alexia ✔️
Ginger beer replacing wine ✔️
Keeping busy and getting ahead with chores before the weekend ✔️

I need to build in new habits, for a lot of years Friday evenings meant wine wine and more wine. The wine cravings were strong after work, but have now passed.

What coping tools are you using? Would love to hear your stories 🙂

Morning, folks. How are we all ?
@Manyrivers , loving the checklist - how did you get on ?
My main coping tool is not to buy it !
If it's in, I'll drink it. But I rarely go in search of it. And sometimes when I want an af weekend, I don't really go out. I don't think this is ideal, but it's been so cold, it works. It won't work in summer though.
And, I make a list of things to do ( housework, cooking, planning, sorting cupboards, etc), so if I get bored, I've got something to do. It's amazing how the lure of cleaning the bathroom convinces me I'm not that bored.
Well, my 2 days away were mixed. I knew we'd drink day 1 - had about 6 glasses ( so, 2 bottles). I felt so ill / tired / rough day 2 that I had 1 beer and 3 of us shared a bottle of wine with dinner, so a good day. I'm definitely too old for it. We used to carry on, drink through the hangover, but I can't do that anymore. I don't want to either.
Home yesterday, tired through the walking and socialising.
Overall, the last 20 days have been successful. I'm looking to do March, if anyone wants to join me. Moderating, really. No more than 2 glasses at one time and no more than 3 times a week. Something like that !

Good morning @Amdone123 I’ve been managing ok. I had three drinks on Friday night then got home and poured another one but didn’t really want it and poured it away a bit later. Last night I had two drinks. So all in all I have managed to moderate quite well this week. I am definitely feeling better for it!

@Bigbus , that's great. You're doing well.
( I know that feeling when you pour it, and really don't want it ! ).
Keep going !
Do you have plans for today? Sundays are tricky for me. But it helps that I really don't want to drink today.

Hello everyone, can I join?
Day 4 AF today. Just taking it day by day. Not too bad atm, as days are still short and I can go to bed early..

@Blackbirdbaby , hi and welcome. Course you can join us.
Well done on Day 4. That's a good approach, one day at a time!
Ahhh, yes, I often take myself to bed at 7pm. Mainly because there's not a lot to do !
Are you trying to abstain or looking to moderate in the future? Or just see how you get on ?

Hello everyone - ive had a successful weekend! Managed both Saturday evening and sunday lunch out without any wine - nor did i want any!

ive finished reading the allen carr book which i think is helping - so i would recommend it.

hope everyone has had a good weekend.

@bilbodog , well done - you're breaking the habits.
I was tempted earlier on, but knew I'd regret it, so batted the thought away.

Hi, thank you!

I’m not sure what I want to do yet. Well I do, I want to completely abstain and be all fine with it. Easier said than done! It’s hard when it’s a big part of the work, home, relax, tv cycle. So, taking it slowly and trying to enjoy the alternatives (suggestions welcome)

@Blackbirdbaby welcome! I'm trying to moderate and have more AF days. I find I'm genuinely thirsty in the evenings and like the habit of having a glass in my hand! My alternates to wine that work well are fizzy water, ginger beer or a sugar free coke. I'm not big on AF wines or beers at home but enjoy them when out. I'm still early in my own journey and trying to figure out the right path for me. Good luck!

First night AF for me tomorrow amd I'm nervous .
Have lots of motivation amd planning to abstain Mon to Thursday amd moderate at the weekend.
Please can I join ?

Hi @Easterdaffsx , course you can. It's good that you're motivated - that will help enormously. Let's take it one day at a time - day 1 tomorrow - you can do it.

Well I did drink Fri and Sat night as planned but I am really trying to focus on how much it disrupted my sleep and so will be AF til next Friday.

Well.done everyone and keep.on keeping on 💪💪💪

@colouringindoors , yes, your post made me think. Usually when I abstain, I focus on all the positives ( so many and it does work), but yesterday I thought back to how ill I've been feeling after I've had a few ( not even loads ; just a bottle last Tuesday and I felt terrible on Wednesday).
It seems more and more absurd when I'm eating healthily, exercising as best I can, thinking positively - all designed to make me feel good, then drinking which just sets me back.