I don't bloody want lasagne

[woofywoof]

Due to things going on at the moment for me, I am in a foul/sad/unhappy/miserable mood today. I am due to go to my friends house tonight, but:

1. she is making lasagne. I don't want bloody lasagne - no dinner put in front of me right now will cheer me up, I want dinner but couldn't tell you what I would want .. if anything
2. she has told me her 2 teen DD will be there for dinner too. No disrespect to her DDs, they are lovely, but I can just as well sit at home with my DDs and have dinner, which I might as well do if her DD will be with us ? why would I want to sit with her DDs when I can play happy families at home with mine? no malice or sarcasm intended by that

I probably sound ungrateful for her inviting me and offering dinner. Imo, my friend just wants the adult conversation/company, rather than spend the eve with her just her DDs who just sit on their phones all eve, if not in their rooms - but that is not my problem.

Why not say you'd be poor company tonight but that you'd love to go another day?

Why do you even have a problem?

If the kids sit on their phones or in their rooms after they've eaten their dinner, why does it matter?

Ditto the food.

I've a feeling whatever she's cooking for you probably wouldn't be what you want, so why not do her a favour and cancel?

If it's vegetarian lasagne, I'll have your share🤣🤣

Are her girls old enough to stay home alone?

Why not suggest going out somewhere?

EDIT: i'm sorry I forgot to say that I hope the situation that is causing you to be sad and unhappy grumpy fed up miserable etc is something that can be made better & put behind you, but wishing you strength and love to deal with it whether it can or can't x

I've a feeling whatever she's cooking for you probably wouldn't be what you want, so why not do her a favour and cancel?

this - totally true.

Tell her you'll come after dinner and take a botte. Or suggest you meet her in the pub after dinner. or don't go.

Just tell her you are in a foul mood and don't want to ruin her evening, and you'll get together another time when you get yourself sorted out.

Please don’t go.

Just tell her you are having a rubbish day and will be bad company and rearrange.

Why is your friend wanting company a bad thing? If you dont want dinner or ger company stay home. You sound very hard work.

Don’t go. She’s going to some effort for you and you’re feeling entirely ungrateful for that effort right now. It would be much kinder to cancel.

As an side, I think it is weird to invite me over to have dinner around the table, with her family .. maybe that is just me though, but why would anyone do that ??

Why else do we, as adults, invite our friends over if not for adult conversation after spending all day with kids?

I don't think you are in the right mood for visiting. Your friend has kimdly invited you for dinner / company. You clearly don't want to go so make an excuse and cancel (for both your sakes!).

Well I can't think why she'd invite you in particular.

But otherwise it's a nice thing for a friend to do.

But the question is why did you accept if this is how you feel?

Because she enjoys your company, and she can't exactly store her teens in a cupboard while she eats dinner with you?

Just message her saying you're in a foul mood and are not good company so regrettably you won't come this evening.

Don't go. Look how angry you're getting over a bloody lasagne. Sorry you're upset but it's not her fault and she doesn't deserve you being so rude about her lovely meal.

Why is that weird? It sounds completely normal to me.

She’s having a bad day.
That doesn’t mean she is the MN classic ‘hard work’ 🙄

To be fair OP, that is quite normal. When you have family, you normally don't banish them when you have a friend over, Lots of people feel dining en famille is a warm and friendly invitation, and I am sure her intentions are good.

And yes, her dds will be there, but isn't the point that your friend will be too?

That is what is different from you just staying home.

I suppose it depends on the type of relationship you have. It would be perfectly normal for my friends and I to do this, if I want to speak to them about something privately, then I'd say so and we carve out some space to talk without the rest of the family, but other than that, it would just be Everyone being there.

I have one friend whose husband I really don't care for and who's kids are particularly feral and unpleasant to be around, so we generally arranged to meet out for dinner or lunch, just the two of us, but she's the only one out of my friends , the rest, family dinners are the norm.

This is a very odd way to look at things! I always invite people round for dinner, sometimes dinner parties and sometimes if I'm making something like lasagne, cottage pie etc then I'll invite a local friend over as there's always too much

i don’t think that’s weird at all.

Yes it’s just you. I have had dinner at the tables of lots of friends with their families over the years, just as I have had people at my table.

I disagree.

Having a bad day doesn't generally turn people this nasty and if it does, they should probably look into it.

I feel you OP I feel exactly the same mood today (luckily minus the dinner invitation!) I want something lovely, f*ck knows what that is and it’s definitely not what we are having or anything DH has suggested including the takeaway we can’t afford. Also I don’t want company but can’t be anywhere else so I think I just give up. Grrrr. Good luck with your lasagna