I don't bloody want lasagne

[woofywoof]

Due to things going on at the moment for me, I am in a foul/sad/unhappy/miserable mood today. I am due to go to my friends house tonight, but:

1. she is making lasagne. I don't want bloody lasagne - no dinner put in front of me right now will cheer me up, I want dinner but couldn't tell you what I would want .. if anything
2. she has told me her 2 teen DD will be there for dinner too. No disrespect to her DDs, they are lovely, but I can just as well sit at home with my DDs and have dinner, which I might as well do if her DD will be with us ? why would I want to sit with her DDs when I can play happy families at home with mine? no malice or sarcasm intended by that

I probably sound ungrateful for her inviting me and offering dinner. Imo, my friend just wants the adult conversation/company, rather than spend the eve with her just her DDs who just sit on their phones all eve, if not in their rooms - but that is not my problem.

You sound jealous of her.

Just text her and apologise and say you’re unwell so can’t make it.

Invite her over to yours next weekend instead.

There are a couple of friends that I'd invite for dinner with DD here.

She'd eat and probably ask to leave the table and go to her room as soon as she finished or offer to clean up.

Then we could commence our adult chat and enjoy the evening.

If I waited until I was alone, I'd never see friends.

You don't sound in good form @woofywoof, maybe you should postpone it. I hope you feel better soon.

Time out of the house, a decent home cooked meal planned, shopped, prepared and cooked by somebody else, some conversation, some nice kids in the mix - it could well make you feel better.

Keep your miserable mood at home tonight.

I'll go. I'd love someone to make me lasagne.

What time should I be there?

Everything your friend is doing sounds entirely normal and kind. You, on the other hand...

Your friend is not doing anything wrong but
I understand exactly how you feel. If you are in a bad mood it takes up too much fake energy to have a polite conversation with other family members like two teenagers.
It feels like a waste (when you just want to scream). 🤣 I’d rather have some cheese & crackers and a glass of wine, alone with said friend. Absolutely not stodgy lasagna.

Then I could maybe, just maybe though, stand going out. Sorry, not sorry.

Well, regardless, this isn't the day for her to confront your thoughts on that.

Today's the day she decided to start this thread 🤷‍♂️

Hope you've postponed by now if you're going to - sounds like your friend was trying to offer something nice but if you're not in a good place then better to stay home

Sympathy @woofywoof I’m in a foul mood for no good reason, my Mum would have told me she’d give me something to be sorry about (thinking of her has cheered me up 🙂) … hope you are cheerier now!

Is part of the reason is that she just wants your company and making you schlepp all the way there to her place to eat dinner she would otherwise have cooked for herself and her dds. She is not going out of her way and she is taking your time for granted.

I had a friend who would only invite me over but drag her feet if we invited her over. In other words, we could only meet up at her convenience.

Where else would you expect her teens to be? Surely it would be weirder to ask them to eat in a different room?

I think your friends offer sounds lovely and generous, and I suspect there's something going on for you that is making it seem different. I'd just make an excuse and stay at home. You can invite her to yours and cook (and banish your dc if you must) another time.

It makes no sense to go if you’re in this mood. Rearrange.

In my culture that’s how we invite friends?

Due to things going on at the moment for me, I am in a foul/sad/unhappy/miserable mood today.

Just take it one day at a time. Better days will come.

Think this is the best idea. Have some comfort food at home. Totally get it about the kids being there, you can't talk freely- have to police your conversation

Today’s the day to be nice to someone who says she feels sad and unhappy.

I have a wonderful friend who, like me, is great at making plans but not so good at following through. We have a perfect symbiotic relationship and regularly cancel each other due to being "not fit for purpose ".

See this is why I love Mumsnet. People come on here when they are feeling really shitty, have a vent so they don't upset their RL friends, ask for advice, and THIS is what they get for their trouble.
Heartwarming.

With a bit of luck your friend might read your post and she will text you to cancel . Then she can enjoy her dinner with her DDs and you can stay home and eat whatever you like .

Spare her and reschedule to another night. Or take some wine and resolve to straighten your face and at least try to be grateful. Sometimes when I’ve not felt like socialising and had to force myself to go, I’ve ended up having a great time!

Maybe because she's trying to cheer you up, like a good friend would?

Take dessert of your choice you will enjoy and go and enjoy!

I know, but I just think she is feeling pretty on edge.