Why would someone say this at petrol station?

[Lavenderwindow]

Pulled into Esso petrol station to top up. Man in car ahead had just finished and was walking into pay. I saw him briefly glance at me through windscreen. He is about my age, maybe a bit older. I am in my early 40s, able bodied, wearing my driving specs, not much to report.

I get out and start refuelling. As the man trots back to his car he says to me "I was gonna say, do you want me to do that for you?" (ie. refuel my car)

I look at him incredulously and say "No", give him a witch glare. He gets in car and goes.

I assume he is a misogynist who thinks that women can't operate a petrol pump? Fuming. I told DP and he thought the man was trying to chat me up. That is not any chat up line I've ever heard. Why would anyone say that ?

I think it was a strange attempt at chatting you up. He wanted to talk to you, was thinking what to say and panicked and said something that you found insulting rather than finding him trying to be friendly and helpful. X

I remember when I started to drive the local stations you got there and a man came out the shop to serve you!

perhaps he was just trying to be nice?

I reckon he liked the look of you, so maybe it was an opening to find more out about you, see if it went anywhere.

I also think angling to chat you up - and done in a polite and respectful way too!

I think he thought you might heed help due to age or disability. My GM would be grateful, she was really stuck when her last remaining petrol station with an attendant closed.

It would be an odd chat up line.

Probably liked the look of you.

What is polite or respectful about assuming that a woman is incapable of filling her own car?

Maybe you look older than you are and he was being chivalrous!

Loooll!! poor guy. He totally messed up and now his failure is being posted on the internet.
Do you look a bit frail? he might also be the kind of guy who helps the elderly with their heavy shopping, or parents with their prams down the stairs.
If you are good looking then def a chat up line.

Interesting that no one else jumped to conclusion of misogynist!

I don't look that old. Or at least I don't look old enough to need help filling my car!

There are probably only a few reasons:

• he fancied you and this was a poor attempt to start a conversation
• you appear much frailer than you think and he was trying to be nice
• he’s some strange misogynist who gets kicks out of offering to help women with tasks they are capable of carrying out.

The 3rd seems the least likely to me, so I’d go with option 1 or 2.

He didn’t say “you look like you can’t do that”. There’s plenty of things I can do but I might accept help with.

He tried to start up a conversation (OP couldn’t said “why, don’t you think I could do it” if she wanted to continue the conversation and correct any potential assumptions).

Offering help isn’t an attack on someone. It was an offer, and he went on with his life when it was declined.

Are you always this miserable?

This. It just made me think WTF. You think I can't do this myself ?? It made me wonder if there are men that think women shouldn't be driving cars and shouldn't be frequenting petrol stations.

I think you've misunderstood the term misogynist if you think it plays out by offering unwanted help. Chauvinist perhaps but that's not misogyny.

Is nobody reading the opening post!?
"I am in my early 40s, able bodied, wearing my driving specs, not much to report."
What in-the-prime-of-her-life woman needs un-asked-for assistance? He didn't even actually help, it was a pathetic "I was gonna say ..." She proved that she is capable so why the need for the after-the-event comment?

Would you offer to fill a stranger's car at a petrol station if there was no indication that they needed help ?

It was a chat up. He clearly thought it was the 'gentlemanly' thing to do and that if he was filling up your car, you'd end up chatting to him. Clumsy attempt at flirting, I'd think.

That's ridiculous. I'm about a quarter of a century older than OP; grey hair, wrinkles and all the rest. Nobody has ever asked if I needed help filling my car.

Has anybody ever asked you? How would you feel if they did?

Perhaps, being a man, he thought he was an expert at putting a pipe in a hole?