Why would someone say this at petrol station?

[Lavenderwindow]

Pulled into Esso petrol station to top up. Man in car ahead had just finished and was walking into pay. I saw him briefly glance at me through windscreen. He is about my age, maybe a bit older. I am in my early 40s, able bodied, wearing my driving specs, not much to report.

I get out and start refuelling. As the man trots back to his car he says to me "I was gonna say, do you want me to do that for you?" (ie. refuel my car)

I look at him incredulously and say "No", give him a witch glare. He gets in car and goes.

I assume he is a misogynist who thinks that women can't operate a petrol pump? Fuming. I told DP and he thought the man was trying to chat me up. That is not any chat up line I've ever heard. Why would anyone say that ?

5m, 5 metres

YANBU @Lavenderwindow what an odd thing for anyone to do. Anyone who can drive knows how to operate a petrol pump. I wouldn't even have said 'no,' I would have said 'why? Why do you want to do it for me?' Because I would be so confused as to why ANYone would offer to fill my car with petrol for me, when I had driven it into the petrol station. As I said, ANYone can do this if they can drive. God help him if he said 'just in case you don't know how.'

And you're not 'miserable' for being arsey with him (as someone rudely suggested!) He would never, EVER have asked a man if he needed help filling his fecking car with petrol!

Yep, internalised misogyny. 100%. Still rife unfortunately. Some men think women are not capable of doing much. And he may be an 'old fashioned man,' (as a pp suggested,) but he was being sexist. 'Old fashioned men' usually are.

.

If he was “just trying to be nice” he’d have asked everyone he saw if they needed help. Instead he targeted a woman. He was being a creep.

Was thw weather near you absolutely foul yesterday? It was here. I am also early 40s and able bodied but if i had been at a petrol station yesterday and someone offered to do it for me I reckon I might have been tempted 😆
It were proper grim.

This is the least puzzling question, if ever I've heard one. This man made a clumsy attempt at offering something that would get him timw to chat you up.
You just decline, if it's not for you. Nothing incredulous, misogynistic or deserving of a witch glare here.

I reckon you’re right OP, you must look both frail and attractive. A killer combo for keen men on the forecourt apparently.

Bit disappointed that we can’t have an “is she attractive or is she frail” vote under a picture though 😂😂

He took a fancy to you and you knocked him back.
Nothing to see here. Get over it !!!!!

Delete me then. Despite the fact the post I’m commenting on, was an attempt to bash the OP, using grammar.

Agree. I'd have just laughed back with 'you can pay for it if you like'.

Then we can all go to bed peacefully. Now back to whether or not the OP looks elderly or hot.

Same here ,i would of let him.

Exactly. If I need help, I’ll ask for it. But nobody is offering help to elderly people. These guys who are “just being chivalrous” never give up their seat for people, don’t volunteer for charities, aren’t spending their time looking for others to help. They are only “chivalrous” when they can hit on a woman and perhaps get something out of it.

And for those likening this to holding a door open, how on earth do you think it’s comparable? I’ll hold doors open but have never once offered to put fuel in someone’s car.

Well, I absolutely detest putting petrol in my car, so I would have gladly accepted his offer. Men can be chivalrous sometimes!!

He caught your eye through the windscreen.
He took that as you swapping glances at each other and thought….hoped probably, that you might be up for a ‘friendly chat’.
He was wrong.
He was a bit clumsy and hopeless in his attempt to chat…whatever his motive.
But I don’t think you can tell whether he was arrogant, timid, misogynistic, helpful or whatever from that tiny encounter.

1950s called. They want their attitudes back.

Meanwhile, in 2026, women have an expectation of going about their daily lives without being hit on.

Do you understand humour at all @BoredZelda? obviously that’s why the suggestion to vote on it is amusing.

But she's younger than him and able bodied?

I'd just reply "No, I'm ok thanks," and get on with it.

Some men do get a bit funny if you refuse their help though. I had someone say "Big strong woman, you don't need a man!" sarcastically when I turned down help to carry my suitcase up the stairs.

This reminds me of the time I was putting my car through the car wash. I got out as I dropped the token and this random Italian guy gets into the drivers seat as I am picking the token off the floor and proceeds to line the car up with the ramps. I was properly freaked out, as my daughter, who as about 4 at the time, was in the back seat and I thought he was kidnapping her. He then proceeded to drive the car off the guide ramps and got it stuck in the car wash. I hooved him out my car by his collar- I don’t know where I got the strength from as I am a tiny 5ft 3 female. He told the guy from the garage he thought it might get him a date and he didn’t know my daughter was in the car. To this day even the thought of him ”boils my piss”

People really do take offence at anything.
I'd maybe have internally fleetingly thought "eh? Does he think I can't do it myself?!"
Then said something like "thanks, I can manage though."
YABU.

Oh dear.

You should have simpered ooooh no sir, well not unless you can let me hold your hose <giggle> - sort of Carry On Pumping style

What I am taking from this thread:

• the OP thinks she is in her early 40s but in fact resembles an 80yo, probably a really hot one and the bloke thought he was well in there
• I need to deploy the phrase "witch glare" more often
• the man is probably on MN even now, reading this thread, and crying quietly over OP cruel shaming of him on social media

Because that’s not what misogyny is.
Misogyny is a dislike, hate, contempt for women, not sure how offering to help you fill up your car is displaying any of that.

He was being Chauvinistic / sexist maybe or just flirting badly.

If you were dressed up he probably thought it would stop you getting the smell of petrol on your hands or as often happens over fill gets on your clothes.
A nice thoughtful man.