Why would someone say this at petrol station?

[Lavenderwindow]

Pulled into Esso petrol station to top up. Man in car ahead had just finished and was walking into pay. I saw him briefly glance at me through windscreen. He is about my age, maybe a bit older. I am in my early 40s, able bodied, wearing my driving specs, not much to report.

I get out and start refuelling. As the man trots back to his car he says to me "I was gonna say, do you want me to do that for you?" (ie. refuel my car)

I look at him incredulously and say "No", give him a witch glare. He gets in car and goes.

I assume he is a misogynist who thinks that women can't operate a petrol pump? Fuming. I told DP and he thought the man was trying to chat me up. That is not any chat up line I've ever heard. Why would anyone say that ?

Maybe OPs “driving glasses” make her look partially sighted, and he thought he was helping a blind person.
Of course, in that situation a blind person shouldn’t be driving a car…Maybe that was going to be his follow up line. 🤷‍♀️

We live in sad times. No one can be nice without someone being suspicious or accusatory. No one can say anything without someone trying to make it mean other than what was intended. We can't even offer sympathies without being told exactly what words to use, if any, tone etc.

When was the last time you offered to fill somebody's car for them?

Besides, he didn't offer help. Only said - afterwards - that he would have done.

Why is everybody furiously defending some bloke they don't know and talking down OP?

One day you might actually need help OP, but you will have helped create a society where no one dares offer.

I got it @senua!
OP he was just chatting you up. Chill out.

I don’t think you are as easy going as you think you are.

I would just assume it was an attempt to chat me up. I wouldn’t have been remotely offended. Bemused maybe.

I doubt if he thinks you’re incapable. I’m twenty years older than you so presumably look more in need but no man ever offers to help me. I think he probably thought you were attractive and it boosted his ego the idea of helping an attractive woman.

Next time (should another such occasion arise) I would be tempted to reply 'Why do you ask?'

No. I never see these guys helping the elderly or infirm. It’s always attractive younger women.

It’s like the guys who marry much younger women and say they can’t help who they fall in love with but it’s never someone ten years older is it?

I don't think that's true. My Dad has suddenly become a frail old man, after an illness. He's still out and about but slow and needs regular rests. People are always asking him if he needs help.

"no thank you, I'm OK doing it myself, have a nice day!"

Maybe he thought you were sitting in your car for ages rather than getting straight out to refuel.
Maybe his wife or mum or sister has always preferred that he do the refueling so he's got into his head that it's a polite thing to do.
Maybe he fancied you and just wanted to say something.

Maybe it's a bit much that you were rattled enough by quite a quick and simple interaction to come and post about it on mumsnet?

To all the people saying "Aww he was just being nice!"...do you think he would have thought a man in his 40s looked "frail" enough to need help refuelling his car? And even if he did, do you think he would have offered?

And to all of those saying "Aww he was just trying to chat you up" - what makes him think that a women going about her everyday business wants to be chatted up? What makes him think he's entitled to do that?

Lol these comments, so OP, you’ve just got to work out whether or not you look like you’re elderly, disabled, frail, or attractive. Easy!

The fact the OP is written in the present tense is annoying me. As is the mention of the driving glasses...WHY? Fuming!!

AIBU?

Is your car a fancy sports car? I know nothing about them 😂 but maybe he liked it

Why the hyperbolic misogynistic? It probably is chauvenistic, but it definitely isn't misogynistic.

Do you want to check your own use of tenses? *Writing

Perhaps OP was one of those people who takes up the petrol pump for 20 minutes whilst they try to find their purse, drop a glove, check out the scenery, fiddle with a tissue and the bloke was thinking FFS, if I don't move this sodding woman along a bit I'm gonna be late for my plastering job.

Is it wrong that I accepted the offer of a male mechanic at the Garage I'd had my MOT done in, to reverse and get my car out of the car park as it was a tight squeeze. It is in a City so not a traditional place where these offers might be expected. I was being lazy really though as I'm a good driver. I would think it's odd for someone to offer to do your petrol unless you are visibly struggling.

🥱🥱🥱

That might be true. Or the ones who go into the shop and take an eternity forgetting there is a queue outside.

I don’t think he was misogynist, I think he liked the look of you

I think he was an arse, definitely implying that a woman on her own can’t put petrol in her own car. I also think he liked the look of you

Mumsnet loves a good misogyny moan. People use it as a complaint about absolutely everything on here to the point hearing the word now makes me cringe

OP perhaps he was just trying to be kind….