Would it be kind to take treats in after an awkward comment?

[ForMerryPinkCat]

I saw the most awkward situation at work today and have to share it because I keep thinking about it.

I work in a small team and we had a new person start today who unfortunately seems to have foot in mouth syndrome.

She's already accidentally insulted the business owner by making a bad joke about his car. (He's a farmer and drives a mildly battered pick up)

She then made a thoughtless remark because I put a spoonful of sugar in my coffee. Fat people shouldn't have sugar, apparently.

The thing that's making me cringe is a conversation I only got the last bit off but it was awful.

The business owner's wife also work for the business. New hire said "sorry, I have CDO. It's OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be."

That's cringe enough but it was incredibly awkward and horrible because the couple who own the business have a teenager daughter who has been suffering very badly from (diagnosed) OCD and is currently in hospital because of it.

Would it be weird if I took a few treats in tomorrow? They're both lovely people and the family has been through so much I'd like to do something to show them we care!

you should bring it to the attention of your manager/business owners. They’ll want to know that she is rubbing people the wrong way.

Has anyone challenged her about her lack of manners and lack of social awareness?

I think we all have at this point!

Bosses know but want to give her a fair trial so she's staying until Friday!

I had to google what a weeble is. I must have been otherwise preoccupied in the 70’s, but how cute and jolly they are.

How on earth has nobody taken her to one side and read the riot act to her ?
Why don’t you all stick up for each other and enlighten her about her highly inappropriate personal comments in the work place. A few choice words could easily set her straight without further ado. No drama needed. What are you waiting for OP.

She is incredibly ignorant about workplace etiquette.
But she can only get away with it because you all enable her to get away with it.

.

We are all calling her out on the nasty comments! It hasn't made any difference!

Time to get more assertive. Tell her very loudly that her comments are extremely rude.

Looks like I would be called a twat. Can't control some autism, what comes out comes out so I'm lucky to have bosses that knew that from interview as do all the staff and and comments are just passed over. Being a dental nurse many years and even the regulars know to never take offence or anything personal. So maybe unknown to you the bosses know something you don't!

If you have all really tried to sharply call her out on her deliberate rudeness personal comments, the only thing to do is to give her a wide berth all day long. Stay away from her. No chit chat with her….walk away when she starts. Don’t listen to her and don’t take offence.

Record each incident properly alongside each intervention made by each of you to help her and give the written account to your manager, who can decide to give her special training or to let her go.

if you all make it clear exactly why you are at the stage to have to refuse to engage with her, she will probably be gone by the weekend.

No, don't take treats in.

You'd look like an arse licker.

The boss and wife are presumably well able to tell the new hire that she isn't a good match for the company, once her probation period is up.

She doesn't have OCD.

She just thinks it's funny to make jokes about OCD. That CDO joke is an old and unfunny one.

I'm sure the brownies will be enjoyed and thoughtful touch but I wouldn't link bringing them in directly to the thoughtless rude person's comments . I'd stay out of it unless my opinion was sought directly by the business owner ( for example before they sack her,) ., in which case if invited to express a view, you may do so but don't embellished the facts

. I assume this person is just rude and lacks self awareness but doesn't have a neurodiverse personality issue that's deemed a disability as employers have to be careful about dismissals if there is an underlying issue amounting to a disability. You can't be too careful nowadays if you run a business and employ people.

How do you know she doesn't have OCD? Reading the post I would think she does, and is making a joke about herself.

How do you know she's not ND? or OCD? Seriously, on MN basically everyone's kids have it, and should be allowed to get away with any poor behaviour without consequences, but when it comes to a socially awkward adult, there's no understanding whatsoever.

You're days too late with this advice.

You're a brown noser and busy body. Nobody needs treats for a comment about their car or a general comment about ocd.

The sugar comment was rude, but that's nowt to do with your boss or his wife.

RTFT, or even just the OP's posts?

She's not. My boss asked her about OCD after the comment and she said she isn't. My colleague asked her about autism and it led to a rant about wokeness and made up illnesses.

You'll understand better what's been going on if you read all of my comments.

Why are you taking in treats for a boss who is refusing to effectively manage someone who is repeatedly calling you fat?

Don’t be so fucking wet. Don’t give them a brownie - give them a bloody employment tribunal. Their refusal to deal with this person being highly inappropriate towards you (who they have responsibilities to) is poor management. I’d be looking for another job.

If I’m brutally honest, I’d much more enjoy working with the gobbybitch than I would with some twee folks panicking about bringing in cakes.

But I’ve the skin of a rhino and would have guffawed loudly if she’d made any fat people comments to me. When I was fat obvs. Her foot in mouth behavuour would highly amuse me. However I couldn’t work with folks bringing in Lem0n drizzle cake and brownies to show they care, it’s like an arse licking version of the WI.

And there is no way blokes are doing that. In fact most men would handle it very differently, they either bite back, laugh,shrug it off or tell the guy to fuck off.And although I’m female I’d do the same. There is little chance I’d be scuttling in with cakes for the boss to show I care and I’d roll my eyes hard if I saw someone doing it.

it just gives small town wi vibes. So yes she’s out of line. She says what she thinks with no filiter andof course that’s not ok. But id pick it over arse licking gossipy behaviour any day of the week.

I think the treats might just have been for the other employees, the ones who use the break room. The ones having to put up with the absurdly offensive new employee, the ones who might like something to cheer them up after being subjected to one of her "jokes" or rants.

What evidence do we have that the bosses have "refused" to "deal with" this nuisance? The original post was put up on the day this nuisance arrived in the office, and the OP has suggested that she doesn't think the newbie will be there after the end of the week.

To be fair her opening post says this “They're both lovely people and the family has been through so much I'd like to do something to show them we care!”

so she wanted to take the owners cake,

Op did say that. She then laughed at another poster who suggested she did that, because apparently it would be a weird thing to do 🤦‍♀️

She sounds like a gobby cow. Good luck with that one.