Would it be kind to take treats in after an awkward comment?

[ForMerryPinkCat]

I saw the most awkward situation at work today and have to share it because I keep thinking about it.

I work in a small team and we had a new person start today who unfortunately seems to have foot in mouth syndrome.

She's already accidentally insulted the business owner by making a bad joke about his car. (He's a farmer and drives a mildly battered pick up)

She then made a thoughtless remark because I put a spoonful of sugar in my coffee. Fat people shouldn't have sugar, apparently.

The thing that's making me cringe is a conversation I only got the last bit off but it was awful.

The business owner's wife also work for the business. New hire said "sorry, I have CDO. It's OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be."

That's cringe enough but it was incredibly awkward and horrible because the couple who own the business have a teenager daughter who has been suffering very badly from (diagnosed) OCD and is currently in hospital because of it.

Would it be weird if I took a few treats in tomorrow? They're both lovely people and the family has been through so much I'd like to do something to show them we care!

Absolutely this.

I think she sounds good value. She’d go down well in our team tbh. But I get if your team is a bit more sensitive then it won’t work. It’s a bit of a suck up to take treats in though.

It all seems a bit juvenile. Regardless of how the creaky OCD joke landed with her employer’s wife, I’d be very surprised if a farmer was stewing about some new hire dissing his car, to the point where he needed to be consoled with brownies.

It sounds to me as if the OP is cross that the new hire made a remark about her taking sugar, and is actively looking to find other grounds for offence on behalf of people with more power in the company.

What's it your problem for?

Either you're goading or lack emotional intelligence.

I wasn’t even there and have 2nd hand embarrassment 🙈😂 she’s just rude, not foot in mouth she’s just rude 🙈

Taking treats in is a lovely idea but maybe have a word with the newbie about workplace etiquette also.

I actually wouldn’t if you’re doing it to make some point. You can show your support by just being diplomatic and getting on with your job.

I’d sit tight and let it play out.

Why do you think you bringing in treats will make this better? It's like you are trying to be a little kiss ass

The message is ‘I’m a better employee than this one’ - let the newb do that for you. Don’t grovel to your boss for something you didn’t do - that’s just brown nosing.

Don't be a teacher's pet because that's not a good look, either. Let the owners deal with it professionally and stay out of it; save maybe a few words of encouragement at best.

Treats are fine but if you take fhem in saying it’s as the new person made an awkward comment I’d see you as a right drama llama who was loving it.

If it's pretty normal, why the thread?

I don't see how bringing treats just because a new starter is rude, is going to make any difference?

But since it's 'pretty normal' to bring them, just do it 🤷‍♂️

Yes, I mean, if the OP thinks her employer’s wife was genuinely upset by the bad OCD joke because of her daughter’s condition, surely the most helpful thing to do would be to pull the newbie aside and explain that it’s not the type of joke that’s going to land well in this workplace because someone is having some deeply uncomic experience of OCD currently?

You might get the fat comment again!

’Sorry you’re daughter is severely mentally ill and you’ve hired a shit person, here’s some Brownies to make it better’

No

I don't understand how brownies are supposed to help the situation. If anything, they will invite further fat comments and make the situation even worse. I think you should stay out of it. It's between new hire and the owners.

It's pretty normal for one of us to take treats in anyway.

So why would it be weird to take in treats?

Hostile ? She sounds an absolute twat !! If someone intimated that I was so fat I shouldn’t be putting sugar in my coffee it wouldn’t be ‘faux offence’ I was taking as I was pouring the coffee over her head, trust me !!

Well, if people normally bring in treats, go ahead. But don’t mention anything about it being to do with the new hire. That’s none of your business and cringey of you.

She might be awful, but she might have been nervous because it was her first day. Either way, take some treats and maybe say they are to welcome her to the company. Maybe feeling welcome will help her to settle down a bit. Presumably the business owners interviewed her and think she will be a good fit (but mistakes happen sometimes of course). Sorry to hear about your daughter. My son has severe OCD and it is very difficult to manage and hard to hear people being flippant about it.

Sorry, I know it’s inappropriate but this made me laugh out loud !

If it’s normal to take treats in and you going to do it without these incidents then take them. But don’t do it just because of the incidents you describe and especially don’t say that’s the reason, that would be strange.

Yes do that.

Newbie has obviously missed the memo 📝 that you need to earn the right to be a smart ar*e. Don’t think she will last long given day 1.

Do you frequently over-involve yourself in things that are nothing to do with you?

How would the new hire know about the ocd daughter!
I love a random out there person.
Learn to accept some are less controlled and if you take in treats shes bound to offend you on your choices anyway isnt she.