Would you message a childhood bully on a forum after 40 years?

[Woolybear]

Hi I wonder what everyone’s thoughts were on this, if you were able to private message someone on a forum, someone you hadn’t seen from childhood for 40+ years and hope never to see again would you tell them what a vile bully they were?

You’re either a distance memory or never thought about

You know this allegation for a fact, do you ? You were there, were you?

How Unnecessary to bring spite against A Politician into the OP’s personal struggle !!

Nope

No... mainly because I wouldn't want them to be able to follow me online. They made my life a misery years ago, and I wouldn't want them doing that as an adult.

However, I wouldn't object to pulling them up in person, and preferably publicly, if I could summon up the courage (so far, just one bully down; I moved away from the area, so I don't have to see them as an adult, and any DC would not be at school with theirs).

Yes @wavingfuriouslyi agree. The thing is I know she is still a bully in adult life and has not changed. We are both still in the neighbourhood so I hear things. Thoroughly nasty person who has hurt a lot of people. She made my life a misery all through primary and high school. Ruined a lot of my life chances as it made me hate school so much. I will never forgive.

Would I want the vile bully to know she had that level of power over me after 40 years and that I hadn’t been able to process the fact they were a kid, and maybe they’d grown since? Hell no. I’d prefer to act like I didn’t even remember them.

Nope

Just watched, brilliant and very funny

she wasn’t exactly a kid she was 16/17
i haven’t gone through life thinking about her and she already knows that I remember her as I was in a conversation with others about what/who we remembered and she popped up in the middle of it .
I could go into more detail there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me
what she did gave me the strength to stand up to/challenge people I saw bullying others whether it was at work or on the street

I haven't spoken to my bully, but I see that she works as a teacher, I hope she has changed.
I put it to the back of my mind after a few years (though I did write a letter to her back in uni, wanting to know why she did it, and never got a response but at least she could see what she had done). But when my DC were bullied it brought the memories back. I'd like closure, if I ever bumped into them I think I would want to broach it.
Weirdly I could see a different side when DD was bully, as her bully said a phrase that was of my generation, which made me think a parent is saying it to her. But I guess my personal experience with my bully was too close for me, and I can't forgive her.

Funnily enough the person who bullied me very badly when I was a teenager has died recently. I hadn't seen them for 55 years since I moved away from my home town because of them. I haven't heard of them since then until a couple of years ago my brother told me they had died.

Even after all these years I felt a sense of relief and joy at the news of their death.

In therapy one time I discussed this bullying and the therapist asked me to think of things about the bullying that had led to a positive outcome. I couldn't think of anything at first but then I realised that me leaving my home town had a profound affect on my life. I have travelled the World and had a lot of fun. If it hadn't been for him I may have still been there and missed out on the wonderful life I have had.

Still glad they are dead lol.