Aggressive Mumsnetters

[Idontpostmuch]

I've noticed that some boards are so much friendlier than others. What are the more hostile ones you've come across?

There was a thread recently about xenophobia, homophobia and transphobia on mumsnet.

People kept trying to bring it back to the first two.

Nope. 40 pages about the third. Denying it of course.

That’s not what I said.

I feel everyone saying the feminism board is basically saying oh those bloody mad , bra burning lesbo lefties - no? That makes me v sad to read.

Can you please explain what transphobia looks like for you?

id really really like to understand why someone like me is deemed trans phobic. I’ve tried to debate it so many times, and I’d be really grateful if you could tell me what I’ve said, in particular, that is trans phobic?

Agree with this. Also comments like 'we see you' are just kind of proving the point. It's not discussion, it's your either with us or against us.

battens down hatches

Relationships. For the first time ever I posted on there last night. It was brutal. Ive only ever been on AIBU but thought the post might sit better there. I wish i had read othet threads first! I find AIBU a generally supportive place to be. Relationships went for the jugular. Inferences drawn from nowhere and a whole load of personal attacks which I mulled over for a few hours then reported - the posts were all immediately deleted. How to kick someone when they are down!

I don’t think anyone said that. I think people said the feminism board was one which frequently descends into aggression. Which was then subsequently proven by people who frequently go on that board bringing the arguments they have there to this thread? And seemingly not being able to see that that shows why people consider it to be an unfriendly area of this site. And what a shame that is, because it should and could be such a force for good.

I wouldn’t care if anyone was a mad, bra burning lesbian either. I could live without the tone of a large minority of the posters there though, and I do, by not going on those boards anymore.

Threads about the old age pension are awful!

People from that board have brought the arguments here because they've been accused on this thread of aggression*, transphobia and being "angry bandwagon people". Why on earth is it surprising and unreasonable that they've responded?

*most "aggression" I've seen on that board is in response to being constantly goaded by TRA ploppers and handmaidens. It's pretty pathetic and weak to goad someone then cry foul when they respond in kind.

I have seen no aggression, certainly nothing like what you can see on AIBU or threads about politics, immigration, the royal family or the middle East.

The FWR board is a force for good and every woman in the UK has benefitted from it existing and from the amazing work women on it have done and carry on doing. Whether the realise it or not.

Okey dokey… as I said, I must have been reading it all wrong…

The feminist boards without a doubt.

If you don’t adhere to their idea of feminism they start questioning your intelligence and suggesting you can’t make decisions for yourself because you’ve been brainwashed or influenced.

Phrases like “your decisions weren’t made in a vacuum” to discredit opinions are a common theme.

Many don’t notice the irony of telling other women how they should be living, because they aren’t actually about women having choices, they’re about women making choices that they deem right.

If you dare to point out the biological differences between the sexes and how that impacts decisions, it descends into total chaos.

Guess not. Unless they are 67 year old trans women.

I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been aggressive, whether here or on feminism sex and gender.

im blunt yes, but im autistic and blunt comes with my territory.

and its really really important to me that I keep my sex based rights. Im that mumsnetter who wet herself in a panic meltdown when in a toilet and there was a man outside the door. And I hope that doesn’t get deleted.

it matters to me such a lot that we keep sex based protections. Being passionate is not aggression.

edit for spelling. I even get upset typing it.

No. We are talking about the few who believe if you aren’t some hard nosed business woman working all hours under the sun and if you’re not entirely financially independent, you are supporting the patriarchy.

God forbid a SAHM says she likes being a SAHM. She will be bombarded and condescended with comments like:
“When your husband cheats you’ll be penniless.”
“Nobody will hire you.”
“You have a power imbalance in your relationship.”

It gets so out of control and vicious very quickly.

The irony of you pointing out you’re being ignored when you just admitted to doing the same.

The only kind of feminism is centering women? No?
What idea of feminism is it that people don't like? What kind of feminism on FWR is it that people object to?
Genuine question.

Style and beauty can be brutal though.
And the Dog House

Personally, I don’t like the sort of feminism that includes certain men in the class of women.

The only time I've ever had a pasting on MN (years ago, under a different name) was on one of the Feminist boards. I'm in my 60s, I've been a feminist since I was a teenager, but according to some I've been doing it wrong all these years because I didn't agree with their line. It was really quite shocking to be attacked on such a board by other women. I don't venture there much now, even though I would like to.

Genuinely baffled now.

Where has anyone been aggressive here?

People have just earnestly responded to hyperbolic accusations of ‘hate’ and demonic levels of bigotry accused at FWR posters. We are entitled to defend and explain our position, surely?

Do we all have to ‘be kind’ and compromise our hard won rights and protections to any Tom, Dick or Harry that demands it? What is your answer?

They really are a bunch of losers/ weirdos !

Just my opinion but your last sentence is pretty aggressive and demanding.

I have no doubt if people were regularly coming to FWR to argue for FGM, or for any other anti-woman belief or practice, or if we were regularly being expected at work to validate the belief that FGM is empowering and good for women, or if our governments were seriously discussing a pilot study to subject children to FGM, or to make questioning the practice illegal, and if our politicians and celebrities were smugly dismissing criticism of this as purely because of FGM-phobia or bigotry or hatred and therefore to be ignored, it would be getting a hell of a lot of angry discussion and challenge on FWR!

As it is, no one comes here to try to justify it, so it's not talked about as much. That doesn't mean it's not important or thought about. It just means what people are doing is outside FWR and MN.

I don’t think it is at all! It’s a very normal question on a talk board. Goodness me.