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Original poster

Do your children call your brother in law uncle ?

160 replies

limetrees32 · 05/09/2026 20:30

Does it depend on how close they are, if they see them frequently?
I'm a bit surprised to hear the neice of my sil refer to my brother as her uncle.
The neice is an adult in her 40s , wasn't close to my brother
First time I've heard her use the word.
It's in connection with selling the house he lived in with his wife.

OP posts:
ClaudettedeBeauvoir · 05/09/2026 22:42

Yes, of course.
They also call a number of mine and DH's friends aunts and uncles too.

ilovepixie · 05/09/2026 22:43

Yes my parents siblings and their partners are my Aunt and Uncle.

Shinyhappyapple · 05/09/2026 22:47

Are you asking if someone should call the person married to their aunt, uncle? Of course. Do you not call the people married to your parents siblings aunt/uncle? I think it would be weird not to. Although OTOH once someone is in their 40s, I would probably expect them to refer to all adults by their first name (aside from parents, grandparents and those they address formally).

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Scout2016 · 05/09/2026 23:03

Apologies for my previous insensitive reply OP, I had wrongly assumed the neice was talking to not about your brother. I am sorry for your loss and for the complicated situation you appear to find yourself in regarding the house sale.

Livinthedrama · 05/09/2026 23:06

I have never known anyone not.

Twoweeksinaugust · 05/09/2026 23:10

I'm Welsh and until I was about 12 didn't realise that most of my Aunties weren't even vaguely related to me 😆. We just call any adult family friend Aunty, I also call my husbands family "Aunty X". I really don't see a problem with a genuine uncle being called that.

Freshrain · 05/09/2026 23:21

limetrees32 · 05/09/2026 21:59

Maybe it depends on the age of the neice
I think a professional adult using uncle instead of first name is a bit odd.
But my son has called me by my first name since he was about 10.

I think you are the outlier here.

Shame this wasn't a thread with a poll, so you could readily see how normal it is to call your Aunts and Uncles just that.
I think the only exception might be is Aunty Sue only met and married 'James' once you were all adults, then he would presumably be just called James, but, as children, you don't differentiate which is a blood relative and which is the in-law.

I am (well, was) a professional adult (I'm retired now) and still call my one remaining Aunty "Aunty name".
My dh and his siblings call their Aunts and Uncles 'Aunty Jane and Uncle Bob' etc.

But my son has called me by my first name since he was about 10

Probably even more unusual.

bababamama · 05/09/2026 23:25

I dropped the aunt/uncle thing once I was an adult as have my kids re my brothers.

Kickinthenostalgia · 05/09/2026 23:33

Yep… my actual uncles husband is also referred to as my uncle.

TheBirdintheCave · 05/09/2026 23:43

MadMazie · 05/09/2026 20:34

Tell me you're white without telling me you're White 😂

Every family close non-family elder is uncle or auntie in my family. I couldn't imagine just calling them by their name.

It’s like this in my family and we’re (mostly) white 🤷🏻‍♀️

JayJayj · 05/09/2026 23:44

A woman called her uncle, uncle, and you find that strange. But you don’t think it’s strange that your own child called you by your first name from 10. My mind is blown.

Greenjersey · 05/09/2026 23:48

All referred to as uncle and auntie here, including a few who aren't related at all, by blood or by marriage.

Mooselander · 05/09/2026 23:50

limetrees32 · 05/09/2026 21:59

Maybe it depends on the age of the neice
I think a professional adult using uncle instead of first name is a bit odd.
But my son has called me by my first name since he was about 10.

Now that’s odd.

dustabsorber · 05/09/2026 23:57

My 75-year-old cousin called my 90 plus Mum Auntie Jean, I think that is so lovely.

HeddaGarbled · 05/09/2026 23:58

But my son has called me by my first name since he was about 10

Do you know that’s unusual? Not criticising, by the way: if that’s what works for you both, that’s your choice. But it may explain why you’re unfamiliar with the conventional use of uncle.

Myplantsmyrules · 05/09/2026 23:59

I am most definitely my dh's sister's DCs auntie. I love those DNs dearly, and they love me. Why wouldn't I be called auntie?
(Apologies if I have the apostrophes wrong)

Denim4ever · 06/09/2026 00:12

Wonderwall23 · 05/09/2026 20:46

I too had no idea people didn't refer to spouses as aunts and uncles. I'm quite intrigued as to who wouldn't!

Exactly, they are uncles and aunts 100%

Fgfgfg · 06/09/2026 00:14

I'm aunty to DPs 8 nieces and nephews. I've been with him since before they were born so of course I'm an aunty. My parents both have lots of siblings and all of their husbands/ wives were uncles and aunts. Why wouldn't they be? Several are now divorced but uncle Joe is still uncle Joe even though he's no longer married to my dad's sister.
I'm also aunty to a number of children I'm not even related to but my friends/ their parents have always said 'here's aunty fgfgfg ' just like my mum did with her friends when I was little.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 06/09/2026 00:23

Of course spouses are aunts and uncles! What else would they be?! I don’t know anyone at all who wouldn’t consider their parents’ siblings’ spouses to be their aunts and uncles. Nobody says “I’m going to visit my aunt and her husband”, they say “my aunt and uncle”.

I still address mine as “Uncle Ken” and “Auntie Jean” to their faces. I’m 50.

I’m from a working class London background and we were brought up to call our parents’ friends and neighbours Auntie and Uncle as well.

Theroadt · 06/09/2026 00:34

When my BIL’s partner (now wife) was pregnant with their first child we went to see them with baby gifts. He said to me “oh you are not a REAL auntie”. I never ever got over that, and indeed haven’t seen him since my youngest was Christened, which was about 7 years after that incident. My husband was there at the time yet didn’t correct his (younger) brother, which I also haven’t quite got over. Silly and small-scale, but it was a deliberate hurt.

BlackRowan · 06/09/2026 08:06

What other option is there??

BlackRowan · 06/09/2026 08:07

limetrees32 · 05/09/2026 21:59

Maybe it depends on the age of the neice
I think a professional adult using uncle instead of first name is a bit odd.
But my son has called me by my first name since he was about 10.

Sorry that’s very strange 😱

NeverLooksFlippingClean · 06/09/2026 08:10

My children still refer to their uncle as 'uncle Bob' despite the fact he hasn't been with my sister for nearly 10 years and they were never married!
We still see him fairly regularly as he is still part of the family as he had children with my sister. He didn't stop being my children's uncle just because he split up with my sister.

user1492757084 · 06/09/2026 08:11

Yes. As adults they do.
I still do the same to my elderly Aunts and their husbands, my Uncles.

I call close friends of my Mum's Auntie as I have always done, and their husbands, Uncle, too.

k1233 · 06/09/2026 08:56

I thought this was your scenario:

For simplicity two brothers marry two women A and Y. A has a brother AB. Y has a sister YZ.

Does Y's children call AB uncle? There's no blood or marriage relationship. Yes A is aunt, but A's brother is not related to Y's children. He is Uncle to A's children only.

If YZ has a child ie BIL and Ys niece, then they are not related.