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Omg I shagged the vicar

694 replies

Lapdog78 · 31/08/2026 13:21

BC for this one!!

last summer I moved to a new village with my 2 teen DC’s following my divorce. I’ve made a real effort to integrate into village life and joined a cycling group which I love.

a couple of new members joined a few months ago, one of whom is the vicar from a nearby parish. He’s 39 single. I’m 43.

on Friday we all met for drinks snd I ended Ho inviting a group back to my house. Kids are away with their dad. We all had a few more drinks at my house before people started heading home. There’s been a little bit of flirtation between me and the vicar and it ended up just me and him- we had some more wine and he was being very complimentary and was clearly trying it on. We ended up kissing and I’m afraid that I ended up shagging him on my kitchen sofa. Very out of character for me.

im now mortified that I have to see him at cycle meet this week. My friends think it’s hilarious but im worried he’ll think I’m loose and common. 😲

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Holidaymodeon · 01/09/2026 19:40

RainRainKeepComing · 01/09/2026 17:16

I agree. I can't understand the mindset behind making up stories.
I was a bit 🤔at the 'loose and common' as it's not how most 43 year olds speak - throwback to the 1950s.
And then it just got sillier and sillier.
The responses were funny however.

It’s quite vicarly language tbh, maybe it’s a vicar writing for kicks…could be way more interesting if so…

Noodles1234 · 01/09/2026 19:44

Good for you, I bet he is equally worried you think he is a loose Vicar! Sounds like you both need a sort of possible second date see how things go.

love it, Dame Jilly!

MaddestGranny · 01/09/2026 19:46

AllMyExesWearRolexes · 31/08/2026 13:47

Kitchen sofa? Missing the point I know...

we do need that laugh emoji back again

Idontpostmuch · 01/09/2026 19:47

Holidaymodeon · 01/09/2026 19:39

It gives me zero amusement. I have found many things funny on here over the years but the obviously made up stuff leaves me dry.

No, I didn't mean they amuse readers, just the OPs. Otherwise they wouldn't bother

NewYorkie19 · 01/09/2026 20:06

Why did you tell your friends? Did you not consider his feelings, with people knowing what happened?

Bernardo1 · 01/09/2026 20:18

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:49

Haha I thought about that too! Must be a nice, big kitchen to accommodate a sofa.

I feel 'kitchen sofa' maybe euphemism for doggie over the table.

Holidaymodeon · 01/09/2026 20:22

Idontpostmuch · 01/09/2026 19:47

No, I didn't mean they amuse readers, just the OPs. Otherwise they wouldn't bother

Yes that makes sense, although many do seem to be amused,
I always wonder if I’ve had a sense of humour failure on those kind of threads. I can’t even raise half a smile for most of them

JohnofWessex · 01/09/2026 20:33

Courtesy of Twitter where they are now discussing it

Omg I shagged the vicar
MissSold · 01/09/2026 21:00

You’re my hero 🤣

ForNoisyCat · 01/09/2026 21:21

Lapdog78 · 31/08/2026 13:21

BC for this one!!

last summer I moved to a new village with my 2 teen DC’s following my divorce. I’ve made a real effort to integrate into village life and joined a cycling group which I love.

a couple of new members joined a few months ago, one of whom is the vicar from a nearby parish. He’s 39 single. I’m 43.

on Friday we all met for drinks snd I ended Ho inviting a group back to my house. Kids are away with their dad. We all had a few more drinks at my house before people started heading home. There’s been a little bit of flirtation between me and the vicar and it ended up just me and him- we had some more wine and he was being very complimentary and was clearly trying it on. We ended up kissing and I’m afraid that I ended up shagging him on my kitchen sofa. Very out of character for me.

im now mortified that I have to see him at cycle meet this week. My friends think it’s hilarious but im worried he’ll think I’m loose and common. 😲

I hope it’s cause he really likes yiu and not because it’s the standard village welcome …

Gwenna · 01/09/2026 21:39

Lapdog78 · 31/08/2026 13:21

BC for this one!!

last summer I moved to a new village with my 2 teen DC’s following my divorce. I’ve made a real effort to integrate into village life and joined a cycling group which I love.

a couple of new members joined a few months ago, one of whom is the vicar from a nearby parish. He’s 39 single. I’m 43.

on Friday we all met for drinks snd I ended Ho inviting a group back to my house. Kids are away with their dad. We all had a few more drinks at my house before people started heading home. There’s been a little bit of flirtation between me and the vicar and it ended up just me and him- we had some more wine and he was being very complimentary and was clearly trying it on. We ended up kissing and I’m afraid that I ended up shagging him on my kitchen sofa. Very out of character for me.

im now mortified that I have to see him at cycle meet this week. My friends think it’s hilarious but im worried he’ll think I’m loose and common. 😲

Go for it and be happy OP! 😃

Gwenna · 01/09/2026 21:39

Bernardo1 · 01/09/2026 20:18

I feel 'kitchen sofa' maybe euphemism for doggie over the table.

🤣 🤭

MiloMinderbinder · 01/09/2026 21:57

I laughed - out of joy. Did you enjoy it? (Dont answer!)

FunCrab · 01/09/2026 21:59

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 01/09/2026 19:25

How many other parishioners has he shagged? I'm know it's not an offence that is punishable by death. But I do think it is a bit out of order tbh. Maybe sounds old fashioned.

Like a teacher shagging a pupil. Boundaries, respect etc.

Do the Church of England have guidelines on this sort of thing?

Hallelujah!

it sounds to me that he is spreading the word and much more beyond.
i suspect he is searching new ways to promote religion.

GreenScienceBeliever · 01/09/2026 22:00

Lapdog78 · 31/08/2026 13:21

BC for this one!!

last summer I moved to a new village with my 2 teen DC’s following my divorce. I’ve made a real effort to integrate into village life and joined a cycling group which I love.

a couple of new members joined a few months ago, one of whom is the vicar from a nearby parish. He’s 39 single. I’m 43.

on Friday we all met for drinks snd I ended Ho inviting a group back to my house. Kids are away with their dad. We all had a few more drinks at my house before people started heading home. There’s been a little bit of flirtation between me and the vicar and it ended up just me and him- we had some more wine and he was being very complimentary and was clearly trying it on. We ended up kissing and I’m afraid that I ended up shagging him on my kitchen sofa. Very out of character for me.

im now mortified that I have to see him at cycle meet this week. My friends think it’s hilarious but im worried he’ll think I’m loose and common. 😲

You can report it and get him sacked. That would save your embarassment.

Nicewoman · 01/09/2026 22:04

Lapdog78 · 31/08/2026 13:21

BC for this one!!

last summer I moved to a new village with my 2 teen DC’s following my divorce. I’ve made a real effort to integrate into village life and joined a cycling group which I love.

a couple of new members joined a few months ago, one of whom is the vicar from a nearby parish. He’s 39 single. I’m 43.

on Friday we all met for drinks snd I ended Ho inviting a group back to my house. Kids are away with their dad. We all had a few more drinks at my house before people started heading home. There’s been a little bit of flirtation between me and the vicar and it ended up just me and him- we had some more wine and he was being very complimentary and was clearly trying it on. We ended up kissing and I’m afraid that I ended up shagging him on my kitchen sofa. Very out of character for me.

im now mortified that I have to see him at cycle meet this week. My friends think it’s hilarious but im worried he’ll think I’m loose and common. 😲

Are you going to date him or blank him? Poor guy,
wants to marry you. For real.

Emeraldforest · 01/09/2026 22:13

I thought vicars were a bit more chaste,but I guess he took his dog collar off.

Allseeingallknowing · 01/09/2026 22:15

Steeleydan · 01/09/2026 18:58

At least it wasnt on the alter !🤣🤣🤣🍆

Or behind the rude(rood) screen!

SillySeal · 01/09/2026 22:16

Well good for you! Sounds like you had a wonderful night.

Please let us know how it goes when you next see him and if theres any talk of round 2 🤣. Who doesnt love a good vicar story.

Iain789 · 01/09/2026 22:32

Well you are no more loose than he is evidently. Enjoy it.

ErinBell01 · 01/09/2026 23:02

Go for it! Nothing wrong with what you did - but I definitely wouldn't have told my friends about it. I wouldn't want anyone gossiping about it at this early stage, and with him being a vicar, you know they will. You might have just sabotaged a good relationship.

Yankiedoodlebabe · 01/09/2026 23:02

Loose? Come on, it’s 2026, enough of this bs! You are both of age and you both were consenting. If the sex was good, be more worried about making it happen again…

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 01/09/2026 23:02

The vicars organ:

The vicar came around for a cup of tea.
But a hot blooded male is what I could see.
As the sky grew darker outside,
The feelings in me grew stronger and stronger.
Our eyes met, and I couldn’t take it any longer.
I knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t a jammy dodger.
Our lips met and I could feel his todger.
The passion grew and we couldn’t hold back,
He touched my breast and I touched his sac.
There and then we consummation our love.
The climax was truly from the heavens above.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 01/09/2026 23:03

Consumed …obs.

PrivateFlangermin · 01/09/2026 23:05

I would not beat yourself up over this ,,,you both are functioning adults and its normal behaviour ,,,My brother was a vicar he died age 57 and he always said ,,,,its just a job with good pay ,,,he had a lot of clergy friends as you would expect and he married another vicar she was also clergy and they had two children ,,,so obviously they had the act of lust and outcome and im sure apart from the two kids they had sexual fun before and after marriage ...my brother was single ...but he was gay man they have a right to have sex too ,,,he had brain bleed died instantly ..Regarding sex and the clergy i remember being 18 and i was in hospital for 3 months ,,,not ill but had psoriasis in those days ,,,im 58 now the treatments required hospital in patient so the vicar came to ward and when it was my turn to see him ,,,he was only young he asked me to come to his house and do some studies with him ,,,he even said he would bring me back in timme for ward door locked ,,,i was that shocked i said its ok thanks anyways,,,it was obvious what he wanted and also id never been on pill so one would hope i would not of got pregant ,,,looking back i regret not going i would of loved to marry a vicar they have beautiful homes champagne dinner parties even ex prime minister theresa may was a regular ,,,,i went off track i think there is no harm in what happened god knows we only get one shot at life take all the love lust and sex and cuddles you both wish ,,,im single 58 no kids ,,,i never met a Mr Darcy ,,im crossing my fingers that i experience good old jiggery Pokery before my time to have it ends and plus the fact i need a guy to justify my vagifem vage hormone pressaries for that smooth and glide motion