Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

You'll need to support them with posts and dig holes for these

That won't support them and they will rot in the ground. You would need someone to come in and sink additional fence posts in post mix and attach the trellis to that. Not cheap and I think a bit weird standing on their own, personally. I think the retractable screen is a more affordable option and has the benefit of being temporary. It does rather shout, 'I don't want to talk to you today!' but so be it - your neighbour has left you little choice.

Earlier on you said Thing is, putting trellis 5ft from the fence would make the garden even smaller and even less room for DC to run around, and the garden is already fairly small.
And now your garden is Pretty spacious. Which one is it then?

One minute your garden is fairly small and the next minute it’s pretty spacious.

@PrettyLittleRose you misunderstand me. If she’s my age…she knows better. The OP is being very much kinder than I would be to someone of my age.

Something like a trough raised on legs would help getting the height of plants instead of growing from the ground. You may need a back support of a trellis for some plants to grow up then it's more about the plants not the blocking her out. For example....

www.primrose.co.uk/product/_/redwood-raised-trough-planter/classid.12539/sku.PP5057/?srsltid=AfmBOor3m1kstIWdmyf0VgJ3j42hyGVSdTjCakiwMgHTCBqBoVBoUnl2QI8

The overall garden itself is fairly spacious without the trampoline, swing, sandpit etc however with all the play equipment in it, the running around space is quite small (or smaller than I'd like). Therefore I wouldn't like to reduce it any further.

I asked Chat GPT to add a privacy plant border. Obviously these are a bit high but might provide some screening. Hopefully the picture will post.

Can you not see that your kids playing in this very overlooked, cramped area (whilst is absolutely their right) might annoy neighbours in the same way this lady chatting annoys you?

Do you not think exercising some tolerance might be the way forward here?

ummmm let me think about that........ no.

I think you should just adopt a cheery and brisk reply saying you'd love to chat but you must get on.

This poor old woman must be very lonely.

You've given her time in the past and now for some reason it's getting on your nerves. It's down to you to change your behaviour.

Putting up a forest won't stop her if she really wants to chat.

She will still be able to chat through a trellis if she's determined.

I think you are unlikely to support as much growth/height as that from small, hanging planters. But you probably don't need that much and I think they might work for you. Dwarf sweet peas (12-18" high) might be enough.

Think harder!

nope

I was thinking iIf it more as a way to make you feel comfortable asking her to give you space in the garden in a way that wasn’t rude.

Trellis may well work but she might just talk through it unless it’s densely planted. And things like a shade to pull across is going to come across as pretty rude.

If kids playing in gardens annoy people it would be perfectly reasonable for them to plant trees or bushes to block the sight of it and absorb some of the sound if they can.

Are you a lawyer? Because earlier you said it's the House that qualifies and now it's the resident.
Too many Google Lawyers.

I'd go with a retractable privacy screen as they seem very reasonably priced and don't permanently block out her light/view.

If she questions it, tell her that it's because:
(1) You want to sunbathe naked or in a bikini or you're so hot when you're doing your gardening that you're only wearing skimpy clothes and/or no bra and you wouldn't want to subject her to that sight! Or you're too embarrassed for anyone to see you dressed like that.
(2) It's to give your child some additional shade in the garden.
(3) It's to help block out the noise of your child playing on the trampoline.
(4) You're working outside and it's to stop you getting distracted while you work, such as seeing movement out of the corner of your eye.
(5) You could claim that it's designed to give her some privacy from you/your child when you're out in the garden. She doesn't want you being able to see in her window all of the time!
(6) You could claim that it's a safeguarding thing that the authorities recommend these days for kids playing outside in the garden.

I have no idea what this means...

And if it does annoy them then they're welcome to put in place any measurss to mitigate that inconvenience. Just as I'm trying to do.

Whatever you do, avoid bamboo like the plague.
You just reminded me that when we lived in another country and had terrible neighbours, we built this on our deck after we came home early from a weekend away to find them hosting a bbq on our deck and their kids and their friends kids using our row boat in the canal (you can probably guess which country). They would have complained if we affected their view of the canal, so we put this up. Such a pity the clematis and climbing roses took over so quickly. (DD obscured with rodent for obvs reasons.)

A trellis will block light if you are planning to use it for growth and plants and hanging things on, however, if that's what you need to do for privacy then just do it. You don't have to explain your reasons, just do it and see how it goes?

I would personally consider a gazebo, a good wooden one if it's affordable, it will potentially block her light but it's only her bedroom so I don't see the harm.

Her 4-5 hours of bedroom light is not an important, unless shes super old and lives in her bedroom, but I know that's not the case if she can get outside to chat constantly.

If it was into her living room/kitchen, a general day to day living space I'd have a different reply but she picked her space the same way you picked yours.

Who are you to decide if daylight is important in her bedroom? If I was the neighbour I would complain about trellis reducing my light to the council and would ask the council to have them removed if above the allowed height.

You can't put it measures though you are all on top of each other. So as I say, her chatting annoys you as your kids playing in a garden feet from their homes will probably annoy other neighbours.

You've got to learn to accept noise and chatting when on top of each other like this set up. Trellis and plants blocking her light will be rude and awful. Just put headphones one and use your body language like waving then turning away to give clues that you're busy and don't have time to chat.

Why dont you just manage the conversations with her. Sometimes its ok to tell people id rather not talk right now rather than block her out.
The problem is not her. You have a communication problem