Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

There are rules about adding height to an existing 6ft fence.
Trellis is a grey area but as it's so close to a window and back door, it's not a particularly neighbourly thing to do.

OP has to change her behaviour.

Adding trellis etc is a bit passive aggressive.

Far easier to 'woman up' and say she's busy, sorry, can't chat.

Once she's done this a few times her neighbour will get the message.

Plants and bushes don't absorb the noise of kids playing.

I'm not in any way saying her kids are a problem I'm just just suggesting in this very cramped set up where everyone is feet from everyone else they might annoy others. A trampoline, sandpit, swing 'etc' does suggest it may well be a noisy - ish area so I think the op's possibly got her priorities wrong with who may be annoying whom.

I'd carry on chatting to the lady to keep her on side.

OP’s existing fence is not 6 ft.

She is now considering placing freestanding trellises and obelisks with climbing roses 40 cm away from the fence.

I can imagine next summer's thread 'I used to get on with my neighbour but since putting up a massive trellis and plants just feet from her window blocking her light she's gone a bit funny, glares at me and now complains about the kids playing in my garden which is unfortunately right outisde her flat. She's even got other neighbours on board and now everyone is unfriendly what can I do?'

You can do nothing about that . Just look the other way.

Put your earphones in or simply say ‘So Sorry Carol, playing the board game here, chat another time’

Next time, sorry Carol do you mind I never get a minute, I just want a little while to relax in my garden in peace and quiet, am sure you understand’

Yes it’s a little rude but sometimes you have to be when someone is overstepping

Stop looking up at her window?

You can put in measures though, in fact I'd argue that it's even more important when living in such close proximity. For example, I've set out all of my DCs play equipment in a way that it causes her least inconvenience ie trampoline and other equipment right at the back of the garden and away from her property as much as possible. The layout doesn't look great but I've tried to bear in mind her privacy as much as possible as I doubt she wants kids bouncing up and down on the trampoline right outside her bedroom window. I'm conscious of noise levels in the garden and always remind DC if they're starting to be loud to reign it in. I'm also conscious of the times that I let them out to play, much more so than I would if i lived in a property which wasn't as close to someone elss's property. I try to respect her privacy and peace as much as possible.

Even with the proposed trellis; I've looked at our local council bylaws and I would be entifled to put up a full fence up to 6ft 6inches (and I have pored over the rules and the only way I wouldn't be allowed to do it ia if I were less than a metre from a public highway.). Even if I matched a new fence to the height of my existing highest fence, 6ft, only her view into my garden would be blocked, not her light. However I'm trying to put measures innplace to be considerate to her and find the most mutually beneficial way to give me privacy while respecting her light.

Plants can absorb quite a lot of sound. Not all of it, but the difference between sound on an open field and in a wood is quite striking. Also, it pretty much eliminates any annoyance cause by visual disturbance.

If you were OP you'd carry on doing the very thing you really don't want to do to keep her on side? On side for what? OP's just trying not to hurt the woman's feelings, not build a political power base.

She's fallen out with most of the other neighbours, much of the chat I get from her is birching about them and informing me of their comings and goings as she keeps tabs on them from her livingroom window, so I doubt that will be an issue.

No I said “residents” all the prople eho lived thrre. I mean thst it doesn’t hsveto have been the same person for the whole 20 years

OP obviously can do something about the neighbour watching her. There are a huge number of ways she can stop that. Some of which are nicer to her neighbour than others. But we are talking about the neighbour's bedroom window here, not her living room or kitchen. Putting up trellis that blocks the light a bit and a view of OP's kids' trampoline isn't that horrendous. Though I agree that making it clear that she isn't the neighbour's on demand buddy is probably most effective.

YABU. You're effectively blocking her view out of her own window. As she lives on the ground floor it's not unreasonable for her to do that.

You come across as being unreasonably entitled. What did you think was going to happen when you bought a first floor flat with a ground floor garden.

As for her talking to you, ignore her.

I'm not adding height to an existing 6ft fence. The 2 fences in the photo, the one dividing my garden and hers is 6ft. The one outside her bedroom window, looking into my garden, I think maybe around 4ft. I'd be looking to add a trellis to this, to make it to around 5 and a half feet. However I think I've now come across a different solution, as advised by a pp.

I thought that I would have a garden which was my garden, and that I'd be able to enjoy it, instead of it effectively becoming a communal area for her to come out and hang over my fence for ages every single time I'm out there. Would you do that to your neighbour? Or would you follow basic ettiquete and not come and yap someones ear off every time they stepped foot outside their house?

If a little peace (not entire privacy, as that is impossible with the layout) is what I feel I'm entitled to then yes, I am entitled.

The best solution is to stop engaging in chat with her.
Once you've made it obvious that you are busy, a few times, (just say hello wave and go into your house) she will get the message.

Maybe try another option - less garden chat and invite her in for a coffee now and then. She's clearly lonely.

If she has other windows (this isn’t the only view from the flat) then a wide trellis and annual plants such as sweet peas would work. The plants would block some of the view mid summer but die back in winter to allow more light into the bedroom when you’re not out so much.

If this is the main window into the flat then I might reconsider.

Something like a buddelia might work as these can be heavily pruned to keep a good height.

Why don't you tell her that you're busy and don't want to talk to her then. Take a more direct approach than the PA one.

I've already explained why..

I’d plant some shrubs that will gradually get taller than the fence. Not too dense to block the light. Maybe some tall roses.

I'd carry on being polite whilst keeping chat short knowing that my kids were probably as annoying to others as her chatting. I'd accept I'd bought a flat with a shit garden extremely close to everyone else and just take the chat as an unfortunate consequence.

Plants seriously do not absorb the sound of neighbours kids or else we wouldn't have a trillion threads in the summer about them outside playing and disturbing others.

I suspect she sees the garden as HER garden because it’s her view. Just whack the trellis up and make it the full 6.5ft. If when she bitches about it, just say it’s to protect her privacy as your kids are getting bigger and need to let off steam in the garden.

I was pro neighbour, but now that I have understood that she actually has her own garden, I am wavering! Does she have a view of her own garden from her flat? If she does, I would feel less guilty about creating some screening for your garden.

I already posted with suggestions to screen her. I think people have missed that the window in the pic is her bedroom window, and she has a full view of HER OWN, enclosed garden from her other windows!

We've recently gone through a battle regarding depravation of light where the neighbouring property wanted to double its height by adding a further 3 stories on top. City centre site. Beforehand, they took light levels from each room and said that bedroom light doesn't hold as much weight as a lounge area. I know you don't plan/want to block her light, but being a bedroom, apparently it wouldn't make much difference if you did reduce it! The monstrosity next to our flat got approved and this was despite our bedroom already having a below the desired light levels before it was built!

Yes she has a full view of her own garden from her kitchen window and a back door leading directly into her own garden. Her livingroom and other bedroom look out onto her front garden/the street.