Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

To answer a few questions - yes, I'm in Scotland.

It's a 4 in a block. So my neighbour is bottom floor, I'm above her. Then the building ia basically a mirror image on the other side; she has a next door neighbour, as do I on the top floor.

I come down stairs at the side of the building and walk round the back to my garden. Her own private garden is behind the taller fence in my photo, she accesses it from her back door.

Rather than trellis, I'd be tempted to get pleached trees or something that will grow up and block the view over time- not as tall as the pic though. Even if they were in large troughs on wheels that could be moved if needed. As long as they aren't right on the fence line, then they won't block all her light.

A trellis doesn't block light.

And it isn't a hideous garden, it's quite spacious (although not as spacious as I'd like mind!). Certainly enough room for a large trampoline, swing set, sandpit, playhouse, patio area etc.

Oh I'd hate this. Using the garden is not an open invitation to chat. There's being friendly towards the neighbours and there's being intruded upon. I'm a friendly person, very outgoing...but I don't want this level of contact with any of my neighbours.

Personally I think your choice of trellis is a good solution. It creates a barrier without losing the light and colour. So long as it's taller than her face, she'll struggle to initiate as much chat. What's she going to do...shout through it? Insert her face into one of the squares? Not likely.

Get that trellis up.

Putting even a trellis seems to me cruel. How about a flowering bush that grows high in summer, so blocking her view with pretty flowers and which you cut back in winter, when you may not use the garden so much, allowing her light into her bedroom. Eg old fashioned, hydrangeas can be trained in place just to give height

Do an internet search for privacy options in gardens and lots of ideas will cone up. The wooden seats a pp added are a good idea. You need a way of creating some distance between your garden and the window. Putting trellis on the fence might look rude and interfere with light, but there are other options. You could also plant a small tree in that area to give some distance.

There may be a covenant but it would probably also be on the OP's deeds because it would be the responsibility of the owner of the garden not to block the window so they need to know about it. There is no legal right to light unless the residents of the house have been enjoying it for 20 years without interruption unless as I have said, there is a no blocking the window covenant.

A trellis in front of a window does block light - of course it does. It is a wooden grid in front of a window so only allows light in through the holes and the wooden struts cast shadow all day.

It blocks less than a wall but it still will make it darker and thats before you have got anything grown on it. Some foliage can be dense.

Just speak to this woman!

in that case, she can definitely put up with a trellis! she has her own garden and benefits from a high fence.

have you seen the cost of those trees?? and have you tried to move anything on castors over grass?

This is exactly it. I don't mind being overlooked. Doesn't bother me at all. I don't mind her looking out her window or walking down her pathway and saying hello. She's perfectly entitled to do that and I'd be cheeky and entitled and downright unfair to resent her doing that. I don't mind the odd chat. What I do mind is being accosted for long periods of time, pretty much every day I'm out, when i'm trying to relax in my own space.

I haven't brought it up with her because I don't want to upset her. It's kind of hard to say that you don't want to chat in your garden, then she will feel like she can't chat to me at all. I do also help her out with the odd thing, as she's elderly, so I don't want her feeling that she can't approach me for things that she needs.

It's kind of hard to say that you don't want to chat in your garden, then she will feel like she can't chat to me at all. I do also help her out with the odd thing, as she's elderly, so I don't want her feeling that she can't approach me for things that she needs.

It really isn't hard. Just say this directly - that you value the time as peace and quiet and would appreciate not being interrupted so regularly and emphasis what you've said - that you really don't want her thinking that you are saying anything other than this and you are happy to help her as you have been doing. If you can't face speaking to her - which is always better because people have a tendency to dwell on writing which has no tone - then drop her a friendly note.

This is not difficult. It just requires a bit of planning exactly what you want to say and picking a good time and a bit of backbone if it scares you.

JFC your snobbery and disdain is leaking out of you.

'All the more so when that looks like a miserable concrete place to live with a tiny window. Even a trellis will really restrict light coming in.'

I assume that neither OP nor her neighbour can afford houses with large landscaped gardens. Maybe properties with more private gardens are out of her price range.

OP is actually trying not to upset this woman for whom she runs errands and gives lifts. She doesn't want bluntly tell her that she needs her privacy and that she needs her neighbour to stop following her outside and expecting long conversations. She's looking for practical solutions that won't cause offence.

You are obviously completely out of touch with the way lots of people live with neighbours in such close proximity.

In theory, that's all well and good. In reality, how would you feel if someone asked you not to talk to them when they're in the garden? Personally, I'd feel a bit hurt and embarrassed, as though I was being a pest. I wouldn't act like that in the first place though.

How happy would you be with spending time with her at your convenience instead?

I'm wondering if a solution might be for you to be more direct in telling her you can't talk because you're in your garden to do something else, but suggest she come round for tea and biscuits on whatever day at whatever time?

So when you're sanding things and she tries to talk you say "Oh Sandra, can't really chat while I'm doing this, how about you come round for tea tomorrow at 3?", And if you're playing with your DS, "Lovely to see you again Sandra, but I've promised DS all my attention this afternoon. Would you like to come round for tea again soon so we can catch up? Friday?" etc.

It might not work, but if it did, you wouldn't have to worry about blocking light, etc. But it's only a solution if you'd actually enjoy having her round for a cuppa.

She doesn't want bluntly tell her that she needs her privacy and that she needs her neighbour to stop following her outside and expecting long conversations. She's looking for practical solutions that won't cause offence

I made that suggestion above several posts ago with wording designed not to cause offence. If offence is the issue, then suddenly blocking someone's window without speaking to them, is worse I think.

I'm bailing out of this thread as it is nuts! It's really not that hard to speak to someone politely in this sort of situation without being blunt or offensive if you explain gently why it matters to you and that you are not saying 'never look in my direction or speak to me again'!

Thank you.

And to that otber poster, it actually isn't a miserable place to live. The garden itself is pretty spacious, I have a balcony with sea views, large rooms. Its just the fact that my neighbours has such access to me in my garden that is the issue. I have thought about moving in the near future but I really like it here. Bar the privacy issue in the garden.

What about something like this really large shade umbrella. They can be moved easily and the angle changed. Put it down when you're not in the yard, pop it up when you are.

Pop it just inside the fence, angle it so it obscures her view. You can easily say it's just for shade. Other than that, a quick chat and headphones.

Naturally Provinicial 3.7 x 2.7m Kensley Cantilever Umbrella | Temple & Webster

OP the trellis will not block her light, you're right. But it won't block her seeing and talking to you either. So it will not do what you want it to do. Anything which blocks her seeing you will also block her light. Planting could work, but again if it effectively blocks her view of you it blocks her light.

A retractable screen sounds a bit awkward, it would be very obvious why you put it there so you may as well just tell her you don't want to talk. Saying "I'm busy, I don't have time to talk" is absolutely fine and saves you buying anything!

I'm really not sure if it'll work. When i took her to the garden centre, we got back and she went in the house. Around 10 mins later, she was back at the fence chatting, telling me where she was going to plant the new plants she had got amongst other things

"All the more so when that looks like a miserable concrete place to live with a tiny window. Even a trellis will really restrict light coming in."

You lost me when you wrote that. Those are perfectly nice and tidy immediate surroundings you're referring to there...OP lives in the same block.
But you know that.

what about a big mallow? Lavatera.
They grow pretty big in summer and are very cheery like big hollyhock shrubs, then you cut them down in winter. They are very resilient in dry weather too, not too much watering etc.

Headphones would make it clear the op wasn't able/wanting to chat. As for her neighbour looking out the window, so what? Look the other way.

I bet the kids in the garden annoy everyone else as much as people looking out a window or chatting annoy the op.

Live and let live op and save up for a better place.

No you can't block her view/light. How would you even explain to her when she sees it and asks about it anyway?

Plant a budlea. They grow about a foot a week in the spring. Cut back in the winter then the cycle continues. Don't plant it against the fence.