Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I'd be wearing headphones and, after a quick hello, tell her it's something you need to listen to. If that fails, then look at the trellis/plant option.

Alternatively, you could plant some small trees or tall shrubs just inside the fence - presumably you're in the process of making it prettier anyway, so that wouldn't seem too odd. Or, depending on how much space you have, create a separate seating area behind a plant-covered trellis and further from your window to give you privacy but retain her light.

Maybe the photo is skewing the dimensions a little. According to the previous owner, that walkway is meant to be a communal area, neighbours gate isn't meant to be as far forward as it is, all other neighbours gates are further back. However I can't seem to work it out from the deeds. My own areas are coloured in, everything else is white, including the walkway. I have no reason to use the walkway, so I've just left it.

So rather than have an awkward five second explanation that you've got to get on with the gardening/just want to have quiet time with DC, you plan to block her bedroom window. That's what it amounts to, whichever way you describe it. Yabvu.

Great idea.

How long is your garden? Is there room to plant tall privacy shrubs set back from the fence, creating a secluded private seating area at the end of the garden?
Something like this but with a less open archway?
Google layered planting for privacy

Suggest you put a trellis up to the height of fence perpendicular to your fence. It most certainly would not block out her light.

If queried say it's for security reasons. Anyone could easily jump over your low fence.

Could you make an island flowerbed/ quick growing shrubs about 6 ft away from the fence with a path down each side. That would block her view of you but not really something she could complain about. You could even put a small shed on n the bit between the shrubs and the fence

We put up panel fencing when we moved into a house which just had post and rail between us and the neighbours previously because, similar to you, every time we went outside there would be 20 minutes chatting and sometimes we just wanted privacy.
Rather than put up a trellis, I reckon the politely rebuffing her sounds like a good option- ‘yes, I agree with you, I’ve just got to get on with this at the minute.’ She is probably lonely and that would be a good first step to address the issue so she gets the hint.

I was thinking something like this trellis here, then adding the odd hanging basket on. That way, she woukd still have plenty of light, and a bit of a view, but it would give a feeling of a bit more privacy, and would, I think, be a little bit of a deterent to coming out and chatting to me through it.

https://www.wickes.co.uk/Forest-Garden-Smooth-Planed-Trellis-Panel---600-x-1800mm/p/223699?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PMAX%20Shopping%7C%7CGarden%20Decorative&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20647243099&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhsrUBhDxARIsAN3AQSdTIotanwM96OWCSFJbd0Zfzw8um1xJ-HWTX_z_obPygex9_0dTyIEaAqGCEALw_wcB

Yes exactly what we've done. A high trellis on a long planter but 1.5m in from the fence so we get the privacy we need.

And you think putting up a physical barrier is less rude? Either way you are saying “fuck off, Doris” but your way you are also blocking her light - even with a trellis. Particularly in the winter months when you aren’t going to be in the garden anyway.

You saw it when you took on the house. Either grow a pair and talk to your neighbour, or find some other way to create the privacy you want.

But how would a trellis that lets plenty of light through block her window?

You should simply continue to do whatever it us that you are busy with when she starts to chat. If you switch off your sander/interrupt your game to talk to her, she will think that you want to talk to her. Just get on with whatever you are doing with minimal interaction with her. She will get the message eventually but currently you are giving her the wrong message.

You can’t put trellis and plants up there, it would block her light and view, I think that would be an awful thing to do, you do just need to toughen up a bit, headphones, turn back, sorry can’t chat now.

What will you say to her if she complains about the trellis and demands you remove it?

Yep this. Pause briefly - “Sorry I need to listen to this for work so won’t be able to hear you or chat. But hope you’re well.”

Also - what if you put some trellis like 5ft from the fence - so it’s no higher than the fence already there - but that distance then meaning you have a table and chairs the other side of it and you’re sat playing with DC she can’t see you.

Better yet - a gazebo with a wall etc. then use behind it for garden storage etc.

The trellis you've posted looks fine, it's large enough it'll still let light through. Just say you want the garden more private and secure for your kid if anyone asks. Maybe you could also get one of those benches that has like an archway and back to it and put that on an angle in whichever corner would block her view the least but give you more privacy. Then some tall bamboo in pots further into your garden, like halfway down so that bits more private for your child to play - could put the trampoline behind that so it's more of a kids zone one side and grow up zone nearer her house so less noise for her if she's already complained about the trampoline

My neighbour is 93 and likes to do this too, I think it's sweet and always stop to chat if I've time. She doesn't get out and some days I'm likely the only person she speaks too. If I don't have time I say lovely to see you Joan, but I must get on. And that's it.

Thing is, putting trellis 5ft from the fence would make the garden even smaller and even less room for DC to run around, and the garden is already fairly small.

Could you move the trampoline to the fence?

I wouldn’t like that either OP but I’d have been put off by the proximity at the viewing and decided not to buy. On the other hand gardens are only really used during the summer. For the other nine months of the year people are indoors. I’d want to screen off her whole view because I’d be so irritated. I don’t know why people can’t keep themselves to themselves but that’s just me. During the winter I doubt you’ll give it much thought.

I would hate this. You are entitled to privacy on your garden. If it's allowed, I'd put a fence up.
Surely planning permission would not have been granted with a window so close to the fence?

Then unfortunately I think you can only speak to her. If you just trellis the existing fence I genuinely think you'll cause considerable problems. When we put our trellis planters in, as I previously posted they're over a metre from the fence, we did have more scope of space but equally don't speak to those neighbours, it was because of their constant stream of visitors and habit of being really nosy that we did it. If you're on good terms though, I would discuss.
Edited to add: before we did the planters, we had a very good retractable screen from Amazon. It was cream in colour so didn't block out all light and we only pulled it out when we wanted the privacy. They can be costly, £70-£100 for right height and length but this may be your better option. It retracts completely into a weather proof casing when not in use and can be fixed to wall or fence posts.

I'm not sure how a trellis like this, with a few hanging baskets on, would block her light? Perhaps some people are getting the wrong idea when I'm saying trellis, and imagining a panel that conpletely blocks light as well as view. It certainly wouldn't give me complete privacy, but it would likely signal that the walkway isn't just an area for her to stand and lean on my fence chatting away to me.

1. I do really doubt this will stop the issue. She’ll still know you’re there as she’ll hear you.

2. I think any form of obstruction at the top of the fence will block her light so is unreasonable.

3. act out of kindness. Instead of putting something like that up, instead just say “Hey Betty, I have 5 minutes to chat but then I must return to my gardening as I have a lot to get on with in limited time”. Or, “ I’m sorry Betty, I’ve been so busy recently, I just need a day of silence and relaxation. I can talk for 10 but then I was hoping to just read/scroll/sleep”.

She’s lonely and whilst you don’t owe her anything, I think it’s important as a society that we include the elderly where we can and have compassion for others. One day that will be us and there’s strong evidence to show the impact of loneliness on someone.

But there will be times when you want privacy and that is fair, I think you can tell someone kindly to allow you time for that, I think it’s preferable than erecting a trellis which will both upset her and block her light.