Misandry and Mumsnet

[estrogone]

Is it acceptable to hate on men openly without apology? Would it be ok of it were the other way round.

As a woman and mother of sons, the attitudes and comments on MN border on hate speech and I think Mumsnet HQ should do something about it.

Is this really how we want to balance the scales?

E: spelling

Whether it's misandry or not it's really healthy for men/boys to be able to see how women perceive us and relationships.

All of the commonly described Mumsnet problems blamed on men can be avoided by avoiding commitment, marriage/children.

I'm sure women have always felt this way but men weren't party to the conversations. So it's a really good thing that this stuff is aired in public where men making life choices can see it. (The downside is the birthrate dropped off a cliff.)

So I don't really care if its misandry or not, maybe it isn't. The big win is that it's aired where men can see it and DYOR.

Ah, the lesser known of the Jane Austen novels.

Clearly OP isn't coming back with examples of this hate speech, so probably no need to worry.

Sexism and degrading treatment by men towards women is increasing again, heavily influenced by the poison online, but now we have teen boys refusing to be taught by female teachers saying “you should be in a kitchen looking after a man” and you think that women shouldn’t speak up about this?

Why shouldn’t men nowadays have to go above and beyond to prove they aren’t one of the knuckle draggers?

And this mother of sons nonsense, I think sometimes mothers of sons do the “oh he’s not too bad just boys being boys” malarkey because they want their grunts off their hands at some point. And I say this as a “mother of sons” but they have a frankly superb dad who is a rare breed and calls other men out on grunt behaviour instead of calling them a “legend” for very none legendary behaviour. Men need to sort out men, so let’s not hold our breaths.

Women being rude to you on discussion sites hardly compares with the sort of issues we discuss about male behaviour, does it? People of both sexes 'say nasty things' however in addition to this, male people are many times more likely to actually DO harmful things. This is what we tend to discuss here. Why is that misandrist?

Babes… hate to break it to you but the birth rate decline is little or nothing to do with the choices men are making.

And everything you’ve said about outing feelings about the opposite sex online applies tenfold to men.

Great. If men are reading Mumsnet and thinking "Christ, I don't want to put my GF or myself through this." and way more women are reading Pistonheads and thinking "Christ, I don't want to put my BF or myself through this." then fantastic. A lot of spoiled lives will not be spoiled, and the people who decide to have families and get married will be going into it with far better information.

If you're saying women are the greatest beneficiaries of a declining birthrate, then yeah, I'd agree, although in my own circle of friends the women who don't have kids don't seem to fully appreciate how much better off they are with a full time man and kids hindering their life. In contrast the men seem to appreciate it far more.

*without

None of that is what I’m saying, but okay.

Ten times more? Not choices men are making?

I can't read that any other way than I addressed it? Spell it out for me?

I agree it's healthy. Marriage is typically way more beneficial to men than it is to women. Especially in later life.
If men want to avoid being another statistic in the epidemic of male loneliness, and to enjoy the mental and physical health benefits of being in a relationship, then it's a very good thing if they learn the type of behaviour they leads women to want to leave them.

Yes on here a woman admits to murdering her children and MNers knows it was him. Women commit crimes - a man made them do it. A man worries about marriage and protecting his assets - he's a bastard. A woman worries about marriage and protecting her assets and she's very wise. In and on it goes.

This. ^ Women are perfectly entitled to loathe men. There are sooooo many reasons to. And the older women get the more they loathe men. Obviously they build up more and more experiences with men, most which will be negative. I don't hate all men, and some I know seem OK, but deep down they will all have some negative trait or other. Probably several negative traits actually.

Did a woman admit to murdering her children on Mumsnet???

This thread is just another excuse for man bashing

Factually describing men’s behaviour is not man bashing.

More misandry I say 😬

Do you ever change your behavior in order to accommodate misogyny?

Yes you do.

True. The son of someone in my life has just been convicted of several rapes. I was shocked. I knew this creature since childhood. He has a partner, children, and a secret life going out with the express purpose of raping strangers.

God knows how many victims he has.

Yet another man that makes me laugh bitterly when I hear namalt.

I'm a mother of a son.
He had a shit time in school because he's not a stereotypical boy and other boys didn't like that.

I don't hate men. I live with two of them. I know some lovely ones But males have done more damage to me, my son and my friends than women have. It's not hate speech or misandrist to acknowledge that.

Rather than trying to silence women's genuine concerns you should focus on calling out men's poor behaviour.

Perfectly put by a pp, worth repeating imo.

There's no misandry here, just realistic views and real expriences.
Many men really dislike and some actively hate women.
I don't think women hate men in this way, but post about their own experience with men, be that work, relationships, sexual comments/assaults, stalking, domestic violence, cat-calling, road rage etc

Men commit more violent crimes, domestic abuse and sexual assaults/rapes. Is it any surprise that women are wary?
I know that women commit these crimes and there are some women that are capable of real violence but not in the same numbers.

I think we'd feel happier if men would just stop killing us

“Is it acceptable to hate on men openly without apology?”

Misandry: maybe it’s the only defence we have because there’s really no other option for us to fight what’s happening. We can only call it out and avoid men.

I hate the majority of men to be honest, but it is noticeable on here when a man comes on with a reasonable (emphasis on that word) post and people disagree simply because he is a man and the person behaving terribly is a woman. That is when it annoys me as it is done for the sake of it. On the whole though - as the mother of sons and happily married woman - men are wankers who seem to think that hurting women is acceptable.

Maybe hate is the wrong word. I’m frightened of a majority of men. Maybe that’s better. And when it dictates my life, I think it’s okay to be angry.

Re man bashing.
So what if we did?
Really. So what?
Would we be bashing good men doing good things?

Its ok to hate the awful things men do.
Its ok to talk about it.
It is ok to criticise men for behaviours that need criticising.

I am quite sure that men not engaging in those behaviours will understand that they arent being attacked. I dont think we need to worry about their feelings.

I have never once in my life felt criticised and attacked by people condemning behaviours I do not display.

I understand how you feel, OP.

My sons are now lovely young adults so I have been reading this kind of thing on MN for a long time.

I don't visit the 'feminist' board any longer because the hatred there is insane and very unhealthy. It isn't really about hatred of men or trans people, it's just hate-filled people. They always trot out the same old statistics and lines; 'name a woman who started a war' etc. when we all know that there there are many girls and women who are responsible for day to day bullying and the kind of vicious nastiness that affects people's everyday lives.