Misandry and Mumsnet

[estrogone]

Is it acceptable to hate on men openly without apology? Would it be ok of it were the other way round.

As a woman and mother of sons, the attitudes and comments on MN border on hate speech and I think Mumsnet HQ should do something about it.

Is this really how we want to balance the scales?

E: spelling

What is worse is that this juvenile expression seems to mean to criticise. People try to silence valid criticism by saying one is "hating on" the obect of discussion.

What did I write that wasn’t true?
What in my recent post is a lie?

So I’m playing the victim am I? How?

I'm a firm believer misogyny and misandry feed eachother. You can't try to eradicate one whilst the other gets a free pass. If anything it just feeds misogyny if misandry is left unchecked.

Sadly it does seem to be the case here on MN. I'll be glad if my son never accidentally finds himself on MN reading any of the casual.misandry.

Perhaps have a conversation with your son about why women feel this way.
It’s never too early to have these discussions in my opinion. We should talk to our sons about how male behaviour impacts women and explain that when women say they hate/dislike/are wary of men that they are not talking about all men but that male behaviour has impacted them in some way which has led to these feelings. Women have a right to safeguard themselves from men and as we can’t immediately tell which ones are the good ones, we need to safeguard ourselves against ALL men. Until we learn otherwise.

Mature, intelligent and well adjusted men aren’t threatened by women expressing their feelings about men as a class. They see the issues for themselves.

Most people would just apologise @MickyMoonshine

MN deleted what you wrote because it was a lie. You accused me of writing something that I would NEVER write or state.

Leave it there, now.

So how does your belief manifest in the practical? Are you suggesting that men rape, abuse and murder women (which is the reality of misogyny) because some women speak negatively about men and avoid them (which is the reality of so called 'misandry')?
If 'misandry' manifested as a pattern of female behaviour that led to men being abused, harassed, physically and sexually harmed, rather than just a little bit narky that some women don't like them, I could see why you might fear a retaliatory rise in misogyny.
As it is, it just sounds like a handy way to stop women discussing male problem behaviour and to blame women for misogyny. Which existed long before anyone tried to pretend it had its equal opposite in 'misandry'.

@MickyMoonshine thanks but I won't be doing that. I feel the women who post the worst of the misandry here have been subjected to some sort of abuse from men and they then stereotype all men in the same way as their abusers. Fortunately my life has not been like this. If everyone treats each other with respect, we'll be fine..he is well aware of that simple rule..

But I don’t know what I’m apologising for!!! As far as I’m aware I didn’t post any lies.
If you tell me what was so offensive then I’ll apologise if appropriate. I’m not just blindly apologising without knowing what I’m apologising for.

As the post has been deleted I can’t see what was written and honestly can’t recall writing anything that was untrue. But feel free to enlighten me.

Misogyny kills. Misandry doesn’t.

Women who have experienced abuse are well
within their right to be wary of men. All men.

@MickyMoonshine they are opposite sides of the same coin.
Men can kill women and women can kill men..

Oh, yes, 'misandry'. It has caused untold pain for men.

Centuries of being locked up in insane asylums for displeasing their wives.
Two of them killed each week by their wives in most 'developed' countries.
Countless men raped by women, or pack-raped by women.
All those poor men earning half or a quarter of what the women get paid for the same jobs; all those men unable to break through the fairyfloss ceiling, also.
The way men are considered past-it at a certain age.
The way they didn't even get to vote or have a bank account in their name until quite recently...
All the domestic violence shelters that had to be built to house them and protect them from the violence and/or murderous intentions of their partners and wives.
Centuries of oppression.

How many men a week are killed by their female partner or ex partner?

The statistics on the perpetrators of homicide are easily accessible and make it clear that men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators in both male and female homicide cases.
They commit over 90% of homicides. It’s not even close.

DS1 joined MN when DS2 was born. He's not a regular but comes on every now and again, he says it's ok. He also said that blokes who wang on about "misandry" have been infected by the Woke Mind Virus.🤣🤣🤣

Your son will probably be OK too@EmailsaysOOO.

Do you seriously think that women kill at the same rate (or even close to the same rate) as men?

It's quite a bizarre viewpoint to have if you do.

Of course not. men are far stronger than women and sometimes have access to implements that women don't have . I realise this doesn't fit the prevailing ideas about men and a violent nature but these are additional factors.

Some women are much stronger than other women though. And women have access to the same sorts of implements as men. Do you not wonder why big strong women aren't committing violent acts against smaller weaker women at the same rate men commit them against other men, and against women?

@5128gap I haven't studied violence within the same ( or for that matter other ), genders deeply. I am merely pointing out that it's easier for an "averagely" built man to injure or kill, an average woman than the other way round.

And I do think the average man would have access to various weapons/ tools that women don't typically have.

What implements can women not access?

Of all the strange reasons why there is more male violence than female violence, this was definitely not a reason I was expecting.

Do you think if they could access these implements, they would be attacking men more often?

@EarthlyNightshade my husband is a keen DIY er. I suspect he has a lot of big metal implements if he wanted the job done quick and simple. I guess if it were the other way round I would have to use a knife. Not sure many women like that method..lBut I was especially thinking of the US where so many guys are into their guns. In some communities every home has a gun, (although yes some women also are able to use them).

You don't need to study it to know two really pertinent facts.
Firstly that male people commit 90% of all violent crime.
Secondly that the chief of policing (a man)
described male violence against women and girls as a national epidemic.
If women were just as violent then they would account for more than 10% of the stats because they'd be out there attacking people weaker than themselves, or attacking men when they were vulnerable, old men, disabled men, sleeping men or forming gangs to abuse and harm men, like some men do to us.
If there were studies and stats that showed woman on woman violence was a concerning pattern, then the police would be talking about that too.
(Gender is a bit misleading as a term btw. I'm talking about male and female sex.)

@5128gap I don't doubt you have done your homework. I still find little excuse for the frequent misandry posted on Mumsnet

But as you pointed out previously, often ‘misandry’ is the result of women being abused by men. They dislike men because of how men have behaved. They are entitled to not like men and explain why.

Misandrist’s don’t kill, rape, abuse or harass men.
Misogynists do kill, rape, abuse and harass women.

They are not two sides of one coin.