Husband's bad mood on holiday has made the whole trip miserable

[TheLizardQueen]

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

Its difficult to have a stand up fight when his mother is there backing him all the way.

OP didn't draw DD in. The DH told his own DD not to speak to him for the rest of the holiday.

You need to leave him life is too short, any man who expects his lady to drive him around isnt a man unless theres a very good reason, vile vile little mummys boy

Take your daughter and go out just the two of you for a day. Do something nice just the two of you. What a great opportunity to spend some quality time with your daughter before she flees the nest. X

Does he have a condition that prevents him from driving?

A wee update, I’m still blanking him but just home from a nice wander around the shops and coffee and cake. MIL came too, she just stood up and got her bag when we were leaving. She was not asked or invited. Her DH (my PIL) also does nothing so I felt it was a shame to not allow her to tag along. If I didn’t take her out nobody would.

Haha no, lazyitis I call it. Plus he couldn’t afford the lessons anyway.

Ah like father like son then.

What an absolutely useless man child. Poor you. Hope you can manage to enjoy the rest of your trip doing nice things with your DD.

I feel your pain. Mine is exactly the same, I hate annual leave it’s nothing but misery. Speak to his mother to ask him what his problem with your daughter is, it sounds like jealousy to me. Can she not show him how pathetic & petty he’s being? There’s no reason for him to say for her not to speak to him - surely his mother can see how ridiculous his behaviour is?!

My DH can be similar. He’s off now my 2 DD are older teens but quite happy just to have a holiday in this country like you, a drive out etc - but he’s kicking off texting me photos of ridiculous priced holidays abroad for his 2nd week.
We’ve had the sitting in the car thing, this is a man who was so pathetic he wouldn’t sit on a beach towel on a beach day years ago. Enjoy your trip - tell him not to speak to you if he’s going to carry on like this, even better make his way home as he’s spoiling it for everyone. Try and enjoy it - even if it’s just the 2 of you take yourselves out x

What are you going to do when DD leaves homes?

it sounds like he does nothing with either of you even when not on holiday?

I’m surprised you’ve done it for 25 years to be honest. he hasn’t really needed a reason to learn to drive if you’ve been doing it for him all this time.

Why are you on holiday with your in-laws if you don't want to spend time with them. It sounds a miserable holiday for everyone.

If you've been married for 23 years why do you have separate finances?

But this has apparently, been going on for years.
OP surely has had a chance to talk in private to her husband during that time and indeed, during this holiday.
It seems to me that OP has become very used to turning to her DD for companionship instead of towards her DH, without ever letting him know how she feels…how disappointing that is to her.

Kindly, is there any other side to this? Believe me, I know all about grumpy partners, but just wondering if he feels pushed out. Nevertheless, he should talk to you instead of acting like an overgrown toddler.

No excuse for telling your daughter not to talk to him, though! Wtf? Also his mother automatically siding with him is ick.

OP and in laws went halves on the holiday home rental, not the marital home, as I understand.

I didn’t say I didn’t want to spend time with them at all. We normally all get on really well. I love them like my own parents since I lost my mum & dad 15 years ago. I very much like spending like with them. But I was annoyed at MIL yesterday for taking DH side when he was talking to DD like shit.

Instead of blanking him, take him to one side away from everybody else, and tell him exactly how you feel. No need to have a stand up fight.
Just start to communicate honestly.

Because thats what mothers of sons do,my ex husband could murder someone and his mother would say he was in the next county!!

You sound really jaded. Like you’ve finally realised this is all you can expect from this scenario. However, it sounds like you can get your mojo back by just being yourself- which is lovely. Extricate yourself from this immature man (won’t be too hard since he’s just a millstone around your ankle) and go back to the full life you can make and share with worthwhile people.

Dont get on at me about the way they split their finances, i'm just clarifying your misunderstanding.